bad drivers

i had to drive to Liverpool and back yesterday for a meeting.

there was an accident at the end of the M62 and the signs clearly diverted the traffic to one lane and suggested 50mph about 2 miles before the accident blocked the first two lanes to ease the traffic build up. logical.

but 'people' don't like to be told what to do on the roads. 'they' know better. 'they' are more important and in more of a hurry than the rest of us morons who actually take notice of traffic advice. so they drive all the way up to the accident and then cut into the queue now miles long.

cheeky b*stards!

god i hate bad drivers. they should have their licence revoked and be made to get the bus.
that'd learn them!

not long after this, i took an alternate route into Liverpool city centre cos the main artery from motorway to centre was obviously adversly affected by the traffic build up.
being local n all i figured i'd take the scenic route thanksverymuch, but since i'm not really au fait with lane detail over there i got myself into a situation where my lane didn't go much further than the lights.
so instead of matey next to me slowing down to let me in - he speeds up nearly causing a collision!
w*nker!
what was the f*cking hurry mate?!
i was clearly not speeding up in a boy racer - 'ha ha i'm in this lane because i want to beat the traffic' kinda way - i have a roof rack and animal print seats for crissakes!
but no - alpha male felt he somehow had to protect his lane or something.
ridiculous!
then he had to let me in anyway cos i ran out of road and the nose of my car was in his way.
but it could've all been easily avoided by him just being the big man ' hey - i'll just NOT hit the gas pedal for one second while this person gets in lane'. easy.

bad drivers are a danger to society!
they put normal nice people like me in a bad mood creating bad vibes and probly adding to global warming...

i heard on the news last week they want to make it mandatory to have been learning to drive for a year before you get your licence - good idea.
how about mandatory having to re-sit your test every 5 years too?!
and stop making cars that go over 70mph while you're at it!
why have the car companies manufactured cars that go 180 mph when there's nowhere they can legally go that fast?!
then they're NOT to blame for speeding motorists! just like they're not to blame for global warming...

insane. this world is insane!

there is such a thing as good news!

today as i woke up i heard the best news in a long time - good news on the news!
that's rare stuff baby!

California Sues Car Companies Over Emissions!

here's a link to the story in case you haven't heard about it

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article1658892.ece

I am loving it!
I'm a hippy me - I eat vegetables and lentils and everything! haha
when i was 16 i was given a book called The Young Persons Guide To Saving The Planet and i always turn my telly/computer off at night!
Standby is very BAD kids!!

So, probably for the first time in my life, the news made me smile!
I saw a headline a few weeks ago about how they're calling companies who profit from fuel sales 'Global Warming Deniers' just like the cigarette companies who went from being 'Smoking Kills Deniers' to coughing up serious compo in courts across America.

Smoking doesn't kill.
Smoking might kill.
Smoking kills.
Smoking kills you and everyone around you.

nice product.
what p*sses me off about cigarettes is there's no way they'd be allowed to go on sale now if they were a new product. they'd be a Class A with all the sh*t that goes with it!
my boyf says stopping people from smoking is taking away their liberties. i say its taking away profits from corporations who are killing their customers!

and it's so funny that those tw*ts who drive bigs stoopid cars, with what one can only assume is a very cavalier attitude about the planet and it's non-renewable fuel sources, will have to a) pay more tax if the government has any sense and/or b) have to give them up when they're just plain banned from the streets! haha
i saw an SUV* in the office car park today - i wanted to leave a note "Gosh! Doing ANYTHING that justifies owning this car this weekend? - NO? Please sell this tank and get a Corsa yeah?" haha

Arnie for president i say! and we thought they were just a bunch of arty farty hollywood hippies over there in California! but sueing General Motors - now that takes balls baby! hehe

Cars do not effect global warming.
Cars might effect global warming.
Cars effect global warming.
Cars are killing the planet dudes!

sound familiar! haha



*SUV Sports Utility Vehicle - if theyr'e anything like trainers, most people won't be buying them for sports. it's White Van Man culture gone mad!

pass me the aspro, man!

i'm feeling a bit ill today.

this is not good as i have to go the gym tonight. also i find being ill incredibly boring! you can't do anything but lie there and suffer! rubbish!

i have a tickly cough and feel a bit heavy headed so i'm loaded up with paracetamol and i took 2 vitamin c tablets this morning!

can a positive mental attitude see me thru?!
will just i lie back and take it like a man?!
tune in to the next exciting installment of 'Don't Panic'! haha
yeah, as a result of my mushy head i am not feeling very creative today, so please don't hold these drugged up ramblings against me!

i been to see Little Miss Sunshine this weekend, it was really good! Wasn't sure what to expect cos sometimes American Indie flicks can be rubbish but it was £5 well spent! We also watched Dig! on dvd. Been meaning to watch this for a while and it wasn't disappointing. Good little story about how The Dandy Warhols and a band calle The Brian Jonestown Massacre were born in california one summer and how one made it big and t'other didn't; but onyl cos the main man Anton was heavy in drugs. It was really a big advert for TBJM cos their music was cool! Very 90s darling!

well that's about all i can muster - my brain hurts today...

i kissed the hoff!

and he said he'd waited 20 years for it! haha, i'm quoting out of context of course but the comment he made was so close to the event of us having a special moment that i claimed it! haha

let me start at the beginning dear readers...
David 'the Hoff' Hasselhoff was in Manchester for a book signing day.
i took the afternoon 'hoff' work to meet* him!

we were told he was doing an iv** at channel m where my mate Fallon works so we stuck our head round the door of the bookstore he was doing lunchtime signings.

there weren't many people at this bookstore. this is important to remember for later.

we took a pic from afar and then trotted off to channel m very excited at the prospect of meeting him up close and personal!

the channel m iv was postponed due to papparazzi issues and moved to the trafford centre.

ruined ruined ruined!

so off we went to book store number 2 and with over an hour to wait the queue was already MASSIVE!!!!!! argh! what the blazes? why didn't we go to bookstore 1?? why why why??!

we sat and moped for about 5 minutes - then bit the bullet and joined the huge queue to meet the Hoff.

2 hours later we spent 10 seconds with a very tired but twinkly David Hasselhoff and i got aforementioned kiss. i said 'Goodness me David, we've waited ages!' and he said 'I've waited 20 years to be here!' ah bless - he's such a hippy!

i'd like to meet him properly of course and then he could fall in love with me and whisk me away to California for fun in the sun... but we'll always have WHSmiths... admittedly it's not quite Paris but i think it's all i'm gonna get! haha

went back to my friend Ruth's house and had a proper Hoff comedown - after all the excitment of the day i was physically and emotionally exhausted! haha

Hoff, if you read this - and i know you like to check your internet presence so you can turn it into pounds - if you want to do lunch sometime i'm your girl! haha



*meet/stalk - it's a matter of opinion really!
**interview - TV speak y'know...

fighting crime in satin tights

so i have two (count em - 2!) fancy dress parties to go to in the next month or so and my thoughts have turned to outfits - do you make your own or do you hire out?

me and man man went on an amble round a few shops this weekend and i've got to say hire or buy they didn't have much to offer, one shop - with a really really cool name too* gave me some right tatty ware to look at... er, no thanks!

which is why i thought about making my own. for party 1 where the theme is Legends i am planning a wonderwoman entrance! surely the all american colours outfit is fairly easy to replicate? i already have the hotpants from a pj set my mate Fallon bought me! and the more i think about it the more fun it sounds! i quite like the idea of looking rubbish and homemade than bought-it-in-the-shop same-as-everyone-else! haha

the lazy girl inside me says - just buy one! but the creative girl says make it your own! haha guess who usually wins! haha**

then end of next month i have to be a vampire at a Hallowe'en party, which my man says is easy - black cloak and white face paint - job done! but i'm sure there's more too it! haha

i was a zombie last year and that was great fun and inspired by the amazing movie rom-zom-com Shaun of the Dead, you can get fake skin to mash up your face - it's great fun! haha

maybe i'll post pics after said events so you can see how i did...


*Mr Ben's - how cool is that name for a fancy dress shop?
**lazygirl. always. dam her!! haha

the eagle is landing at 3 o'clock

i had trouble getting to sleep last night cos i was reading Heat magazine in bed, very naughty behaviour!

i was also a bit more awake than usual cos i'd just been the cinema to see Volver (brilliant film, but peneleope cruz is too dam pretty!) so i was all gee'd up as it where!
the showing was pretty packed for a non-arthouse cinema tho - i was quite impressed, but then you have to consider the Orange 241 offer on a wednesday as mentioned in my previous blog...
it occurred to me that a film shown during the trailers (The History Boys) was just another in a long line of Buddy Movies for boys. It seems sucha shame that the Americans are not so keen on making decent heart warming movies for groups of women, unlike Almavodour! He makes great movies for women characters - and what characters they are! he does seem to use the same actresses over and over but you never tire of them because they're so entertaining to watch!

i had the radio on last night and couldn't find anything chilled so i thought Radio 3 perhaps? Without much conviction. but it was actually a cool show! about classical reoworkings of modern soundtrack songs like Exit Music by Radiohead - mental - but really good! i wanna listen to that show every week! i thought - blimey! radio 3?! but then they started playing some crazy gaelic nonsense so i had to put radio 2 on...

i'm wittering now so it's time to go, ce vediamo doppo!

surfin the crimson wave

i'm hoping to Orange Wednesday it tonight.

how much do i love that concept?! and i always reel in disbelief when i meet someone who doesn't know what an Orange Wednesday is, how can they have missed the ads before every film in every cinema (now that's coverage!)

i guess cos i'm an Orange customer i take more notice but that's still no excuse! haha, they're brilliant ads!

so i'm going to Orange Wednesday with a friend of mine who used to be with Orange but has jumped ship for another network on promise of a cool phone - how fickle is that?! and now she expects me to take her on Orange Wednesdays?! cheeky minx! hehe

i'd like to see Volver or the Betty Paige movie cos they're both chick flicks and my man will grumble if i try and make him see them (even though i went to see Nachos frickn Libre!!!) but i don't know what my friend wants to see so...

i've given myself the week off the gym after a traumatic scene on Monday when i had to dump my personal trainer and ask for new one. i had an appt with him and i called to check the time but he was off and had another apt booked in anyway so i wasn't impressed and said i'd had enough of his nonsense thanksverymuch!

so i have a consultation on Thursday with an Australian lass... and i'm feeling well knackered this week anyway after all my partying the last fortnight so it's officially a week of the gym!
but i did sort out my last unsorted drawers from my move last night and i'm being extra sociable with my spare time this week so's not to waste it! haha

time management is the key to a successful life don't ya know?!

booze is bad

why oh why oh why oh why...

my friend's party was ace! but i drank too much...

i don't feel very sexy this morning and it's been more than24 hours now! haha, that's what happens when you're over 30, it takes FOREVER to recover from one drunken night - i probably am still suffering from my Edinburgh indulgence!

mental weekend tho. went to comedy on Friday night and it all kicked off cos some stupid drunks wouldn't stop talking and the last comedian (the 'headliner') couldn't handle it! it turned into a screaming match - it was proper fked up!

saturday went to see a friend i was at achool with, she's expecting twins and told me all the gory details of how they'd be coming out just to put me off having any myself for a few more years... man - with all the science in the world i have two questions. 1, why does it still hurt? there should be a "beam me out scotty" option by now! and 2, why can't men have the kids yet?! haha

saturday night was the party - and yes - my cd was a big hit! haha well, me and ruth loved it anyway and thats what counts!

sadly a drunken night always has casualties, and saturday was no different. on the way home at 3am (ish) i lost my pink kitty purse in the excitement.

i really loved my pink kitty purse too.

maybe my lovely boyfriend will get me another one... hehe

80 minutes of pure pop nostalgia

i'm going to my friend's house warming party on Saturday and she asked a few people to make cds to play on the night, brilliant!

i'm still a little bit in denial about tapes being the format of yesterday* but now i have my own puter at least i can partake in these homemade cd things if i want to!

i dusted off some old cds and set about creating a playlist for Saturday night, i think you'll be impressed to know i managed to get 23 tracks on including:
Adam Ant's Prince Charming AND Stand and Deliver! hehe
a bit of Kylie, Justin and Magde, good stuff!

i don't mind telling you i suffered for my art, i got a really bad crick in the neck after leaning over my puter screen for a coupld of hours, but i feel it was worth it just to see my pals face on Saturday when she hears "C'mon stop, collaborate and listen..." hehe (yes really! i make brilliant party cds!)

it did occur to me that i'd really love to have proper vinyl mixing skills, decks, the works, me and my pal clare wanted to start our own mobile disco wearing roller skates! haha, maybe when were having our midlife crisis...

for your very own jodester party cd please send details of your event to...


*i must be the only person in the western world who was dismayed my new car had a cd player instead of a tape player - i'd made quite a retro collection up soley from char shop finds!