the words you say..

...and the order in which you use them are your most powerful tools in advertising.

some sales guru dude called Dave Giffard told me that, one sunny day in Glasgow 2003. i think you could apply the same rule to your life really, but if you talked about it in the pub you might get a slap from one of your mates, haha, but certainly its true that the words we use are important to a blogger like me...

so today while just casually using the phrase 'my production team are on tenterhoooks waiting for that signed script' i thought - what the heck does that mean?! i was just being jovial, a polite reminder with a smile to my client, but when i asked in the office none of us knew what it meant and in fact we discussed whether is was infact 'tenderhooks'*

we use so many everyday phrases that are seeped in history and yet are so far removed from the culture in which they evolved, they now seem bizarre and removed from the assumed meaning...

so i did what any right minded citizen might! i googled it! what a wonderful tool the information superhighway is!

not only am i one click from a toaster that is also a radio - you heard right people - and its my birthday soon so... haha

but if you, like i was earlier today, are interested to know why on earth people say they're on 'tenterhooks' click here!


*if you've clicked you'll see that i was right with 'tenter'... hehe

our survey says

last night out in manchester i had the pleasure to meet the national treasure that is Les Dennis!

and he was really lovely! not many people know that Les went to my old school in Liverpool... the same school that one John Winston Lennon did go to as well... ah the celebrity breeding ground of south Liverpool haha

it's good when you meet people that are well known and they aren't above hanging with regular people - he had his piccie taken with about 20 people in the spaceof 3 hours - what a sort!

i was feeling a bit down cos i'd had a hectic week and i was missing my boyfriend but meeting Les stepped my Friday night up a gear for sure! haha

if it's there - i'll give you the money myself! nice one Les!

oldsters

i was sent this little news snippet back in March but presumably was bogged down in work cos i never read it - and it's brilliant!

a bunch of olds got together to celebrate a birthday in their birthday suits! haha it's a shame they were caught before they got going, i only hope i'm as frisky when i'm 73!

vox - the aftermath

last saturday i went to an event called Vox - it's an annual shindig for all people wot do radio commercial production and a great networking event/ excuse to get pished with your mates you don't see for the rest of the year! yey!

i had missed out on the ride from the northwest (thanks Mills) and had to get the train all lonesome to hinkley myself and when i neared my destination it occured to me that the guys sat opposite me - one of whom was reading a rather nerdy looking magazine called Sound On Sound - might also be going to the do... so rather than arrive by myself at the hotel i decided to ask if we could share a taxi over there and they obliged! and what lovely chaps from Guernsey they turned out to be (lots of pubs and nice beaches there apparently!)

then a couple of other people turned up headed for the same hotel - one of whom i knew - Kate - and a lady who was going to a different conference at the same place, so we all jumped in a minibus and off we went... these sort of events are bad for a girl like me - i get so exhausted so early on form the sheer excitement of seeing all the nice people who i haven't seen for ages! haha

but twas a great day and the evening was drunken but thankfully not disorderly - just a few silly pictures of me hugging everyone i bumped into (very tactile me)
i was escorted to my room by a friendly producer chap i know at around 3am (its blurry) and thankful i am that he did - as i was still drunk the next morning for breakfast! haha

roll on vox 2008!

his masters voice

Today me and my flexible friend* went to hmv at lunchtime. it was a bit naughty cos it ain't payday for another few days but i had a musical urge that i just had to ease man! haha

Now i'm a fopp kinda girl normally but Stockport hasn't earned one yet** but there's something inexplicablly joyful about buying music - having it in your mitts and playing in the car on the way home (or all afternoon on your PC at work - yey!) that all the cheaper online stores just can't beat!

And my playlist for this afternoon? Fionn Regan****

The best of the Beta Band - a steal at just £6!

Also love love love a Sizer Barker EP i been playing in my car - you can check these guys out on myspace in their new band Wave Machines - they rule!

my boss brought me i the Ray LaMontagne backcat so i been listening to that this arvo too... feeling like a proper musical minnie today me!

phew! all that music should keep you well busy for a few hours! haha

*my VISA card, not some girl what does yoga well, hehe

**must start online petition, hehe

***star track Valerie by Amy Winehouse

**** heard for the first time by accident on Team Ant's myspace - legend!

sweet relief

have you ever had a wee after a really really really long wait?!

there's nothing like it!

driving over to Liverpool last week i had to wait from near the end of the M62 to meeting my mum in a bar in the city centre to go! And i was a bit lost in the one way system to Dale Street so i really had to wait! Finally when i got to a loo i had a pee nearly as long as the one Mike Myers has in the first Austin Powers movie when he comes out of cryogenic hibernation! haha

just when you think its all gone, there it is, a little bit more. the human body is an amazing vessel! haha, girls of course are much better at holding theirs in if there ain't an adequate facility to go in, but this is merely cos blokes can go easier wherever they please.

without a utensil such as a she-pee it is simply too undignified for a girl to go when nature calls!i remember very vividly being caught peeing in public when i was about 19. i'd just like to point out we were depserate and there were about 4 of us - it wasn't just me! we'd been out drinking and everywhere was shut as we waited to get home so we tucked ourselves at the edge of a carpark behing a big HGV lorry parked up and went for it - only thing was it wasn't an empty lorry and a little face peeked out at our blue moon! haha, the sooner the local nightclubs/theatres/public places get these fab lady urinals in - anywhere with large queues for the ladies essentially! - the better!

let's start a revoLOOtion! hehe, i can't believe i just said that! haha

capital of culture

this weekend i was in my hometown of Liverpool visiting my mum. it's not far to go and i visit fairly frequently but i always have conflicting feelings about it. on one hand i feel good to be home, feel at ease in the company of fellow Liverpoolians. there is a definite character that is born of Liverpool and only people who live there know what I'm talking about...
i expect every major city has its own vibe but i don't know many people who fail to be impressed by the general bonhomie and relaxed attitude of Liverpool. and while out n about in the local pubs it is this that i enjoy and wistfully dream of moving back home for...

on the other hand i feel like Liverpool is a place i left. a place that didn't offer me anything in the way of a career. a place i was forced to leave and become 'the scouser' the land over, the outsider... so maybe i resent Liverpool a bit - since i wanted a career in media and the jobs only came up as poeple literally died off, perhaps my feelings of not wanting to stay in (or go back to Liverpool are down to this earlier experience of disappointment...

this weekend was a good weekend tho. i performed my song that i only wrote recently at an open mic night* in front of about 10 people (1 of whom was my mum - but still a lot of strangers!)and i went to a birthday party at my mums local pub and a chap had brought his violin along and gave us all a blast of Vivaldi! how very cultured! they deserve that award after all!

there's a bloke doing the comedy circuit called John Bishop who is from Liverpool but resides in Manchester. he said of the award "yeah, Venice was surprised too...." which while funny is letting the side down just a little bit!!!

*2nd friday of every month at St Brides Church Percy Street Liverpool 8!

**i videoed it and as soon as i figure how to get it from my phone to this blog i will... but seriously, that's one cultured weekend!

take5

there is a little buttybar near work and frankly they just don't try hard enough!

i ordered a cheese and tomato toastie and got back a soggy mess. toasties in my humble opinion should be at least toast-like! this one looked like it had only been 'near' a toaster.

pale, soggy and unattractive!

and it's hardly nouvelle cuisine is it? it's toast with some cheese and tomato in between! ridiculous. i have had this problem before but you tend to repress these emotional traumas haha

so i've decided to form a protest group RSPCT (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Toasties) and hand in a petition to said buttybar on June1st* i don't suppose they'll appreciate it because i'm guessing that if you can't even make a toastie properly a sense of humour about it is sure to be lacking also...

*i'm joking here by the way but i really didn't enjoy that toastie!

i protest!

went to see Mark Thomas live last week - he's not so much a comedian now as a rather amusing politco! he basically told his tale about protesting about the new rules on protesting that the gvmt brought in to stop Brian Haw from protesting - except the law was deemed not to apply to him... (insert big laughs here)

i don't think i'm angry enough to protest about anything having said that i did send an online petition around all my friends yesterday to lobby the gvmt to reconsider the new music licence rules for pubs cos some local band i'm friends with on on myspace asked me to sign it. the last time i was so political i think i voted for Will on Pop Idol haha (he won! every vote counts!!! haha) or no actually i think it was Chantelle on CBB 06 (another winner pop pickers! haha)*

talking of politics that tony blair has just resigned - just this very instant! the king of spin as ever he finished his speech with 'the British are special... this is the greatest nation' like a bit of old fashioned flattery will make us forget the complete farce of a war he dragged us into... mental!

i think i'd like to be involved in an indie party like the monster raving loony party i think just to show how ridiculous the system is - there's no 'choice' so people don't vote - it's awful cos people once fought for the right to have their say but until people feel empowered thru politics ofcourse people won't bother...

now i have a great theory on who should be our next PM - bear with me - mind trickery guru Derren Brown! he'd be great wouldn't he? he could manipulate the world's stage to Britain's benefit and he's quite cute too! haha i reckon more people would vote too cos he'd just play mind games with everyone haha i predict a landslide!!

let's all sing now

'talkn bout a rev-ol-ution, w-e-l-l y'know, we all wanna change the world'


*latest political hot potato just in, hehe - sign up!! http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/Send_Paris_2_Jail/

fleeced!

cineworld stole a few hours of my life yesterday and made me pay for the privilege!

we went to see spiderman3 - lord knows how we managed to avoid any bad reviews - it was a proper turkey! a mishmash of bizarre happenings and special effects! the most bizarre bit featuring the butler! but you won't find any 'spoilers' here - only a warning not to part with your hard earned to bother to see it at the flix...

'it's the experience that counts' they told us on the anti-piracy trail - is the experience being ripped off at the box office, popcorn stand and then by hollywood too?! haha there's another sucker born every minute! since it was a bank holiday monday i asked why i wasn't getting the off-peak monday rate on my ticket - 'because its a bank holiday' the student mumbled at me - there's nothing to say so on their ticket board - a ruddy con i tell you!
onwards to the snacks counter - £2.10 for a bottle of water! i have to start taking my own snacks to the cinema - they take the p*ss too much! £4.10 for a large popcorn which has been scaled down via new packaging - same great price tho! haha did they think we wouldn't notice?! have you seen how much a bag of popcorn seed costs at the supermarket?! they're making a killing! and they have the cheek to offer 'meal deals' with a massive saving of 30p - woo! they're K_R_A_Z_Y man! haha

thing is - i love going the cinema and dark commercial attitudes such as theirs are ruining it for me! i do frequent art houses for the odd euro/inde flick but they don't even bother with popcorn - like its beneath them haha

i need a happy medium! i'd love to run a cinema - run a classic film every month alongside all the currents! breakfast at tiffany's gets the first slot followed by the big sleep! haha and i'd sell water and popcorn at reasonable prices!

some say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one...
hehe

girl talk

i was on a train* home yesterday evening when i overheard the following conversation between two teenage girls:

girl1 "i had to stop myself from crying last night"
girl2 "ah, did ya?"
girl1 "but then i thought 'what you cryin' over him for - he's got spots' "
girl2 laughs in agreement
girl1 "but no seriously i was really into him, he's got a bmw and loads of cash, so i'm gutted"
girl2 "yeah..."

god help us. the next generation only has eyes for wedge! haha

they blabbered on about some ex-girlfriend who the aforementioned bmw-driver had been texting and how rude it was but how the situation might actually be good leverage for getting a good present from his forthcoming holidays! inspired!

i don't know about you but to me it sounded like a doomed relationship - but i suppose just one of those learning curves we've all had. so while part of me wanted to turn around and say ' i couldn't help but overhear, but it sounds to me like you're both better off without the other...' part of me thought it's all just part of life's rich tapestry.

another girl about 18** sat across from me with a bandage on her wrist - she prodded at it gingerly. i offered her a painkiller and it turned out she was on her way to her first job before university started in October. to work behind a bar. with a sprained wrist. and she was running an hour late thanks to trains up from down south. i told her not to bother! haha
but since she was very forlorn at the prospect of being fired on her first day of a job that took her 4 months to secure (?) i suggested if they gave her a hard time given the evidence she should probly stick the job anyway.

oh what a wise old sage i'm turning into...

*i'd been in Stoke all day for work, this train commuting seems quite easy really... i know in reality commuter peak is hell but every now and again its a nice change from the old road rage innit?! haha

** when did 18year olds start looking 12?!! mental...

a very country affair

weddings are a funny old business ain't they...

me and the fella pootled off down south for a wedding in the Cotswold's, me navigator extraordinaire, nickolai bug killer behind the wheel...

we managed to get there all in one piece but upon arrival at our B&B ran into a problem with Nick's white shirt he was to wear at the wedding. it didn't look very clean and the more you looked the worse it seemed. the problem was he'd washed all his white shirts ready for the big event but had failed to take out the black fabric cufflinks in one shirt so ofcourse the colour had run... disaster!

we asked the manager of the B&B where we could drive anywhere nearby to get a new shirt and he said Bristol (45 miles away!) but that he had a shirt we could borrow! mental! now that's service! only it wasn't the right sort so we figured we'd sleep on it and since the wedding wasn't til 4pm the next day there'd be plenty of time to get to Marks n Sparks.

next we tried to find a pub without directions and ended up going way out of our way only to almost kill several rabbits and a young deer on some dirt track we took by mistake... terrifying! my poor blokey was a nervous wreck by the time we arrived at the pub!

the wedding itself was great fun in a fantastic venue called Cripps Barn- my man wore a kilt! with nothing underneath! wooooooo! exciting! haha - such a long day tho - up at 8.30 to go to Oxford to fetch the groom - out n about all day - so i was really tired really early!
which was a nightmare cos there was a caleigh after the meal which was very exhilarating!
at the end of the night i was fairly sober having had to much champers i the afternoon and switched to water about 9pm, so i took my drunken-kilt-wearing man back to the B&B in the wee hours hoping he'd be sober enough to drive us home again the next day! haha

i'm exhausted just reading about it! haha, thank goodness there's not another one to go to for a few months! hehe