too short to reach the broad beans

i was vertically challenged TWICE yesterday!

talk about making you feel small - i couldn't even reach the top freezer shelf in the supermarket and i really wanted those broad beans (see No More Biscuits) so i had to wait around for about 2 minutes for a friendly-looking taller person to reach them for me!

can you imagine how humiliating this is? it's a conspiracy i tells ya! i happen to know i'm very average! i ain't no 'small' person, generally speaking i'm a 'medium' (unless its my ass but hey i'm working on that already!!) and you know what that means?! every day hundreds of people can't reach the broad beans!

so i get home and i need to change a lightbulb at the top of the stairs but even tho the ceiling is quite low i still can only touch the bulb with my fingertips... there's no chair to pull over and the other day when taking the dead bulb out i'd put on my platform silver shoes and still had to tiptoe so that was out... eventually after thinking i'd have to wait til my towering boyf came home to get it put in i remembered a storage box under the bed that would probably hold my weight haha, and i did the task!

but seriously there are shelves i can't reach in the kitchen, at the supermarket and i think its just plain sizeist! who designs these places anyways? a very tall person that's who!

i need to write and complain to someone about this - yeah Tesco, you're gonna get it! haha

To Be Continued...

One hundred and twenty-five English pounds?!

This is how much British Telecom have charged me for a new phone line to my new abode - another thing to add to the spiralling costs of moving house!

they say because a different company had the last account and engineer needs to visit to flick a switch - sorry create a new line - yeah right! more like in a few months they won't have the monopoly on creating new lines anymore and will start being a bit more creative with their price tag but in the mean time pay up suckers!

it's so rude! and to make matters worse i can't have my telly without a phone line? so i have to wait up to 11 working days for this even though they're charging me £125! only a monopoly could operate such a shoddy service - how about next day installation? thats what i call service, i wouldn't even mind a 3 day turnaround but 11 days? j*sus! what are these people doing?!

unbelievable. and i know you know i told them so! haha

the guy at the call centre didn't know what to make of me - i told him don't worry its not your fault my man, but your company takes the michael! he tried to defend them but there's no getting around it, if you charge extortionate fees for not much actual work because you know nobody else can do it you're on the wrong side of the moral compass in my book!

as you might have gathered, due to a general lack of sleep and stress levels at an all time high anyone who crosses me at the moment is getting very short shrift! haha

rant over. for now!

tears before bedtime

am feeling quite stressed this week, which is only to be expected since moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do in life and i have done more than my fair share!

i dream of buying and living in the same house one day for the rest of my days! haha not in this job! have to move to work innit?!

moved into new gaff 99% now only to discover bed frame has bits missing, wonderful news as you can imagine... a hole in the bag is the culprit i hear but it doesn't help me get a good night's sleep!

the TV won't work, a blind in the front room has come down repeatedly since i moved in, the fridge was mouldville and totally gross and when my mum called to ask how i was i couldn't take it anymore and had a good cry! haha

so i'm emotionally exhausted today and bedless... not so bothered about the telly cos we have the bestest collection of dvds but man o man movinh house is a freakin nightmare only to be endured by the resiliant!

moving time

i'm surprised i haven't broken out in some kind of nervous rash as i prepare to move house -again!

but its a good move - from small urban flat in gritty inner city to roomy semi in the burbs where life will be sweet! haha

since we're very storage space challenged at our current abode there isn't that much to pack up since we've had to leave everything in boxes while we've lived there - but as usual it will be the 'bits' that get annoying, but hopefully come Monday everything will be in place for life in the suburbs...

too many rentals have made me cynical but thinking positively i'm sure the neighbours will be lovely and the new bed comfy! hurrah!

the estate agents trying to let our current place continue to astound me with their incompetence.

yesterday they had managed to book a viewing only to turn up 45 minutes early while i was napping in bed (prior to night out at the theatre watching Mary Poppins the musical which is very good as it happens!) - luckily for me, after weeks of BS from these people turning up on my doorstep unannounced i've resorted to keeping the chain on the front door as the blighters kept letting themselves in! unbelievable.

so i dragged myself out of bed and asked them if they were the 5pm lot to which they looked at me sheepishly, yes, yes they are, sorry to disturb - MY ARSE!

i'll be so glad when these people are out of my life! thing is, the building we live in is such an unpleasant environmen for living in, that i feel bad for anyone looking at it - i want to tell them - don't do it! it's a re-gen ghetto! haha but of course i can't do that... maybe i should make some wee warning notes and thrust them into potential tenants paws before its too late and they've signed a themselves into a draconian contract!

I am not a robot

so the Edinburgh comedy festival was totally amazing!

I am recovering slowly from the cerebral onslaught as my brain tries to catch up on the 28 shows we watched in just 6 days! 28! we took too much!

we spent a kings ransom of course but it were worth it... and we saw lots of really good free stuff including street poet philosoper king Will Stophar (see above) who reminded me that life is a journey not a destination, so glad we braved the torrential rain for that guy! try and catch him if you see him gigging near you!

other highlights were old favourites Stewart Lee who did a really funny bit about a 70s jazz comic called Franklin Ajaye... Simon Munnery's AGM... Stewart Lee's directed Elizabeth & Raleigh Late n Live starring Simon Munnery! Priceless! Phil Nichol on form as always... newbies to watch out for were Dan Nightingale, Stephen Grant and Glenn Wool (who we saw perhaps a little too much of!)

i have a list somewhere of all the shows we saw - its like a military campaign seeing as much as you can there's so much great stuff on - but it's in a bag somewhere and i've been too exhausted to even look at it!

other highlights were sitting next to The Hamiltons at Nina Conti and then watching their show the next day, taking part in their audience game and winning a lunch at lovely Italian restuarant at Sardi's with my flexible ways! fabalas!