i LOVE Charlie Brooker.
there. I've put it out there for all to see.
when he just wrote the saturday guardian's guide feature screenburn for all those years i felt like he was my little secret and only a few were in the Brooker Love Club but recently he's gone BigTime and now i have to share him with the rest of the world.
this is a little annoying but i am glad he's doing well. like a proud aunty or something haha
he is mostly marvellous on twitter. especially when narrating XFactor on a saturday night. too funny. what a legend.
Gush over.
For now!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
the day i should have stayed in bed
there are some days in life when it feels like anything that could go wrong will go wrong.
i am still suffering the emotional scars of such a day because i had one just recently!
let me tell you what happened...
i was in Yorkshire to stay with a friend in a lovely lodge in the Dales, it would have been for the whole weekend but another friend had booked me in the Midlands for the Saturday night...
So after a very fun Friday night in the pub (we even stumbled across an Ale Festival! pun intended!) and a quick whizz round the local castle and theatre on Saturday morning i set off back down south...
apart from the 50mph zone with no actual road works being done (why do they do this to us?!) it all started off ok... but then a warning about a closed junction on a motorway up ahead made itself known and since i wasn't familiar with the area i pressed onwards figuring there would be a diversion signposted.
then nearing said junction i tried to get creative and got off on an A road that probably went in the same direction... only for SatNav to make me nervous and turn me back around... after 20 mins sat in traffic avoiding the motorway problem... why i thought i best turn back i have no clue.. i was tired and wanted to get home asap i guess... so back to the motorway i went and immediately hit on a problem on the slip road...
an RAC van had parked infront of the right hand lane and i assumed there had been an accident and drove onto the slip road... but then all the cars in front of me - all of them mind - started doing u-turns to try and leave the slip road, hence the traffic facing the wrong direction being held up by the RAC man... i put my window down and asked a older guy what was happening and he told me the motorway was blocked off and 'you can't get on'
my next mistake was to take this man at his word. what he meant - or had been told himself by another numbnut was the motorway was fast becoming a carpark due to the closed junction a few miles up ahead... but hindsight is a wonderful painful thing isn't it.
i thought i couldn't get on the motorway so i also did a u-turn. it was about this time that the traffic police turned up. i thought well they'll sort things out and tell me where to go. no they just took my number plate and shouted at me for facing the wrong way and 'you knew what you were doing. it's illegal to be faced this way on a slip road.' really? in all scenerios? like if you wouldn't get on the motorway because of an accident? really? i doubt it. but a policeman never told me to move so i made a mistake. the worst thing is the guys behind me knew that he was toruble and did a bunk before he could show up and get their numbers so i was one of the lucky few who actually waited to speak to him about what was happening. what an idiot!
so i turned around again and headed onto the motorway - sorry car park - and waited 90 minutes while they dealt with a 'police incident' on the closed section of the road. after an hour i was beginning to need a wee but luckily i held onto it haha or there would have been another thing they could punish me for! the call of nature must be obeyed right?! not on the motorways apparently!
so now i wait. will they punish me to the letter of the law or realise it was just a mistake and too much paperwork to deal with. or perhaps they have a target i just helped them reach? who knows. i guess i'll find out in the next few weeks. but it was truly an awful experience and not one i wish to ever repeat!
finally a footnote. just after i escape my traffic jam my friend who is meeting me in the Midlands calls it off sick due to a hangover. so it was all for nothing.
there's no justice. i had to write it up as a learn. don't try and do too much stuff in one weekend! you'll only get a numb bum! haha
i am still suffering the emotional scars of such a day because i had one just recently!
let me tell you what happened...
i was in Yorkshire to stay with a friend in a lovely lodge in the Dales, it would have been for the whole weekend but another friend had booked me in the Midlands for the Saturday night...
So after a very fun Friday night in the pub (we even stumbled across an Ale Festival! pun intended!) and a quick whizz round the local castle and theatre on Saturday morning i set off back down south...
apart from the 50mph zone with no actual road works being done (why do they do this to us?!) it all started off ok... but then a warning about a closed junction on a motorway up ahead made itself known and since i wasn't familiar with the area i pressed onwards figuring there would be a diversion signposted.
then nearing said junction i tried to get creative and got off on an A road that probably went in the same direction... only for SatNav to make me nervous and turn me back around... after 20 mins sat in traffic avoiding the motorway problem... why i thought i best turn back i have no clue.. i was tired and wanted to get home asap i guess... so back to the motorway i went and immediately hit on a problem on the slip road...
an RAC van had parked infront of the right hand lane and i assumed there had been an accident and drove onto the slip road... but then all the cars in front of me - all of them mind - started doing u-turns to try and leave the slip road, hence the traffic facing the wrong direction being held up by the RAC man... i put my window down and asked a older guy what was happening and he told me the motorway was blocked off and 'you can't get on'
my next mistake was to take this man at his word. what he meant - or had been told himself by another numbnut was the motorway was fast becoming a carpark due to the closed junction a few miles up ahead... but hindsight is a wonderful painful thing isn't it.
i thought i couldn't get on the motorway so i also did a u-turn. it was about this time that the traffic police turned up. i thought well they'll sort things out and tell me where to go. no they just took my number plate and shouted at me for facing the wrong way and 'you knew what you were doing. it's illegal to be faced this way on a slip road.' really? in all scenerios? like if you wouldn't get on the motorway because of an accident? really? i doubt it. but a policeman never told me to move so i made a mistake. the worst thing is the guys behind me knew that he was toruble and did a bunk before he could show up and get their numbers so i was one of the lucky few who actually waited to speak to him about what was happening. what an idiot!
so i turned around again and headed onto the motorway - sorry car park - and waited 90 minutes while they dealt with a 'police incident' on the closed section of the road. after an hour i was beginning to need a wee but luckily i held onto it haha or there would have been another thing they could punish me for! the call of nature must be obeyed right?! not on the motorways apparently!
so now i wait. will they punish me to the letter of the law or realise it was just a mistake and too much paperwork to deal with. or perhaps they have a target i just helped them reach? who knows. i guess i'll find out in the next few weeks. but it was truly an awful experience and not one i wish to ever repeat!
finally a footnote. just after i escape my traffic jam my friend who is meeting me in the Midlands calls it off sick due to a hangover. so it was all for nothing.
there's no justice. i had to write it up as a learn. don't try and do too much stuff in one weekend! you'll only get a numb bum! haha
google mindbender
today i confused the google account with a google mail account. i think. i'm still confused.
i almost couldn't log in and frankly their pages of 'help' was anything but helpful. i'd offer that it was in fact just more confusing!
they want me to log in using a google account and yet the user name i have is for another mail account... this seems to be okay... sometimes... i may never figure out how to log in again, if so, so long, and thanks for all the fish!
i don't mind having a google mail for my user name but somehow the system they have put in place doesn't allow me to amalgamate the two... which is just confusing.
i had intended on writing about my truly awful day on the British motorway system yesterday. but that seems pointless if i'm going to have to give up this blog due to google's inability to have a simple 'contact us' button... i guess they don't make enough money to pay for that service.. oh.. except they're one of the richest companies in the world.. oh.. oh well..
i almost couldn't log in and frankly their pages of 'help' was anything but helpful. i'd offer that it was in fact just more confusing!
they want me to log in using a google account and yet the user name i have is for another mail account... this seems to be okay... sometimes... i may never figure out how to log in again, if so, so long, and thanks for all the fish!
i don't mind having a google mail for my user name but somehow the system they have put in place doesn't allow me to amalgamate the two... which is just confusing.
i had intended on writing about my truly awful day on the British motorway system yesterday. but that seems pointless if i'm going to have to give up this blog due to google's inability to have a simple 'contact us' button... i guess they don't make enough money to pay for that service.. oh.. except they're one of the richest companies in the world.. oh.. oh well..
Thursday, October 08, 2009
40 Years of Silliness
Happy 40th Birthday to Monty Python!After watching re-runs of Monty Python's Flying Circus on TV all week I've been reminded how very funny they are... I'm particularly enjoying the Colonel who stops sketches for being far too silly!
The Life of Brian is possibly one of the best films ever made and should be shown every Christmas Day on British telly in my humble opinion!
I once went to a Life of Brian themed NYE party - there were women in beards, romans, Peoples Front of Judea - all brilliant characters!
And we've not even mentioned the funny songs! It's more difficult than you can ever imagine to get a funny song right (sorry Mitch Benn) but these guys had so many silly ditties, if you haven't already get on youtube and check out the Monty Python Channel...
ps. If you're into that sort of thing John Cleese regularly Twitters and just yesterday offered a poll in which you could vote for how he might top himself on his 70th birthday...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Time Traveller's Wife
love love loved this book! my dad gave it to me to read and i wasn't able to put it down once i started! you know the kind of story you ponder about while doing the washing up/ sitting at traffic lights, the kind you really regret coming to the end of!!!
of course now i can watch the movie which will be fun but gosh - i don't think a book has made me cry* for a long time, and this managed to get me three times! i must be turning into an old softie..
i recommend!
*don't worry it's only a little sad some of the time!
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
the clooney
So i'm now too old for The Clooney*!?! lolhere he is pictured with a 30yr old Italian babe... i was so close!
at least she's a brunette! and i'm a little bit Italian... there's still hope right?! haha
going to start a new club: All The Girls Love Clooney...
*recently voted my number 1 on The List of Allowed Celebrity Shags! haha
fyi The Hoff and Russell Brand 2 and 3 respectively! lol
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
closer each day
after a summer break it's back and already i'm hooked!
how did this happen?! i was really honestly considering giving up my home&away habit... my fave fella Roman has been 'sent to prison' ie left the series with a door open... it was taking up WAAAY to much of my time and my boyf pulled a very discouraging face whenever he saw me eyeing it up on the skyplus list!
but i thought i'd just watch one... or two... and then bam i was hooked again! yesterday through my drugged-up haze (for something resembling a horibble cold ladies and gentlemen) i watched as Belle lay in hospital and Aden discovered his bride to be was dying! DYING! o jeez, i wept like a baby! lol
and so today i wait with baited breath, will Aden turn up for the wedding in today's episode? will i really watch H&A for the rest of my life?! tune in next time....
haha i would certainly pay good money to be an extra down at The Diner one day!
ah, we can dream...
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
snow monkeys
i went to the gym after a hard day at the office and treated myself to a jacuzzi/ sauna sesh!
while sitting there peering over the bubbles at my co-cuzziers (is there a better term for these people?!) i was reminded of those cute snow monkeys you get pictures of in the paper every now and again, little red faced fellas loving the natural hot springs over in Asia... apparently the first monkey to try it copied the men it saw having a dip and then all its monkey friends joined in too!
which led me to wonder about whether the reason humans have no body fur like other mammals is to help us to swim, making us more aerodynamic perhaps? or maybe we don't have fur because we started off in hot climates south of the equator and adapted from there... which reminds me of reading some place about how the Spanish Armada failed to defeat Britain due to our inclement weather! it's a wonder this country isn't competely barren or full of a special breed of waterproof humans! I also recall hearing that the Romans despised our cold and rainy climate too, but they certainly stayed for a good innings anyway, i have a Roman nose! haha
which reminds me that the Gaugin picture my friend sent me of a chick from the 1400s certainly doesn't look too different to me and he was in France then, i guess i have Euro roots which is reasonable given Liverpool's history as a port town.. but all this wondering about human history from a few bubbles after work!
maybe the chlorine has gone to my head... hehe
ooh but it was nice ;)
while sitting there peering over the bubbles at my co-cuzziers (is there a better term for these people?!) i was reminded of those cute snow monkeys you get pictures of in the paper every now and again, little red faced fellas loving the natural hot springs over in Asia... apparently the first monkey to try it copied the men it saw having a dip and then all its monkey friends joined in too!
which led me to wonder about whether the reason humans have no body fur like other mammals is to help us to swim, making us more aerodynamic perhaps? or maybe we don't have fur because we started off in hot climates south of the equator and adapted from there... which reminds me of reading some place about how the Spanish Armada failed to defeat Britain due to our inclement weather! it's a wonder this country isn't competely barren or full of a special breed of waterproof humans! I also recall hearing that the Romans despised our cold and rainy climate too, but they certainly stayed for a good innings anyway, i have a Roman nose! haha
which reminds me that the Gaugin picture my friend sent me of a chick from the 1400s certainly doesn't look too different to me and he was in France then, i guess i have Euro roots which is reasonable given Liverpool's history as a port town.. but all this wondering about human history from a few bubbles after work!
maybe the chlorine has gone to my head... hehe
ooh but it was nice ;)
Friday, August 07, 2009
what would ferris do?
sad news today about John Hughes leaving this lifetime... Ferris Bueller's Day Off is simply one of the best films of all time... at least John's family can take solace that he made a lasting impression on everyone of a certain age...
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