Friday, December 29, 2006

i'm drunk on baileys

my man bought himself a blender last night while we popped into the supermarket for our tea.

a tad domestic a purchase you might think and let me assure you it was unprompted. the reason for this purchase is to make baileys smoothies. 8 pieces of ice and a half glass of baileys equals baileys heaven as far as nm is concerned! haha

as a result i have a dirty baileys hangover today that i frankly didnt expect nor appreciate! baileys doesn't taste like booze at all! just hits you like a brick wall and then you fall asleep!

i'm also suffering from a festive comedown of sorts. not being at work i'm forgetting what day it is and a bit bored really... need some retail therapy me thinx... shoes should do it... bound to be a gorgeous and completely impossible to walk in pair for under twenty quid in the sales tmro... could stick the boyf in Waterstones for an hour and bob to TK Maxx! haha

i love it when a plan comes together! happy new year!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

they are loving it

it is the day before the last working day of 2006 and i am a little light in the way of workload.
this is okay. i prefer it this way as my brain has ran out of creative juices!

so i been wandering around on the interweb and somehow i found this website

as you can probly figure it's a cheeky fake parking tickets site for dirty gasguzzling 4x4s! brilliant! inspired!
they've even gone to the trouble of having different tickets for different areas in the UK so as to look as much like a real parking ticket as possible! haha

i've got to print some off! merry xmas suv-haters everywhere!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

secret santa

I tells ya, I always mean to steer clear of things where you have to rely on other people's organisation but somehow they always find me!

I decided it would be lovely to have a secret santa thing in the office.

So I rallied the troops and got a list of peeps and did the draw for names etc etc

So far so secret santa!

But now it's the day before the big gift swap and half the gifts aren't under the tree! Rude! Including mine! Even ruder! haha

Some people just can't get their sh*t together! How difficult is it to buy a box of chocolates?! haha

If I don't get a gift tmro there's gonna be trouble! haha

I don't sound that angry do I, but let me tell ya, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned at secret santa! hahaha

No Deal

Man I so want to go see Deal or No Deal being filmed and get my pic taken with Noel! haha

So with a trip to Londinium on the horizon I figd I'd investigate and get audience tickets, so far so good. But NO DEAL! It's filmed in Bristol! Ruined!!!

That's a trip soley to be in the audience of a hit TV show. Which is too sad. Ruined! haha

But I hear there's a DVD game so maybe I can get it and have a Deal or No Deal party at my house with a pretend banker and everything!

Why is it on so early?! Pesky schedulers! I feel like a kid who wants to watch Neighbours but it's only on at 1.05pm! Ha! They changed that to twice a day why can't they do that for DOND?!
Once in the day for the old folks and students, then 7.30pm for the non-soap watching hardworking public!

It's like that yoga class at my gym on a Tuesday night that I can never go to because it starts at 5.30pm - Don't these people have jobs?! Grrr!

Luckily DOND is repeated on More4 a lot so I still get to enjoy Noel and his boxes occasionally...

I wonder if there'll be one on Xmas Day.... I think the British public are ready to see Noel back on the telly on Xmas day* hehe

very merry.

*this relates to an interview me and the man read in Heat or something recently just before his big comeback, he was loving it. But personally, I'll never forget the Noel that Chris Morris showed us! haha.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


i am bruised people.

i fell over after several beers at my work xmas party number 1* at Alton Towers** last night.

this morning i had a banging head, sore feet from ridiculously high heels and three massive black bruises on my right side. oh my god they hurt!

i just popped to Holland & Barratt for some Arnica for them cos they ain't pretty!

had a rockin time tho! cheesy disco, free beer, ace! the only problem was the food was just canapes and a really rubbish veggie option so i was drinking on an empty stomach - tres sensible!

everyone at work assures me i was just funny not embarrasing but i was hammered so i'm feeling a little delicate today and hoping no terrible pictures appear in the next few days!

the best thing was i got to meet Terry Christian! he's really nice (from what i can remember!) and even put up with me drunkenly telling him he's a legend! haha

i am seriously going to bed as soon as i get home! haha

*we're having a second, just local team one tomorrow night! eek! my liver can't cope!
**there were Dodgems! woohoo! and we met one of the MDs of Alton Towers on them! haha

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Don't Wait Too Long

saw Madeleine Payroux at the Liverpool Philharmonic Monday night with my mum.

she's a jazzy chick who hit the music stands this year on the back of big success for Norah Jones et al. and the concert was really great. the venue was a bit stiff mind, would have better suited a jazz cafe but Liverpool doesn't have one of those even though it's a capital of culture*

i like a bit of jazz me - my boyf hates it - says things like 'You wouldn't like The Beatles if you weren't from Liverpool' because my eclectic taste offends him so! haha

i recently got an ep of the new Amy Winehouse album which is well cool but my man don't like that either.

this blog is seriously suffering from my hangover so i'm going to sign off before i ramble on about nothing too long.

*my mum is livid that on the back of this 'award' Liverpool seems to be evolving into a yuppy town with no character

Sunday, December 10, 2006

fat tax

i saw a wicked documentary this weekend about one guy's mission to get a fat tax on the agenda in Britain to somehow pay for the £8Billion of public money that is spent every year on benefits to obese people.

Eight Billion Pounds! because these people won't stop eating crap! ridiculous!

the equation they came up with suggested that depending on your BMI you'd pay more the fatter you were. brilliant plan man! my mum called me up the other day livid about paying for baggagewhen fat people could fly without any further dent in their wallet! she said she was going to wear all her clothers on the plane in order to avoid the extra bill. i think that could catch on if the airlines aren't careful! but she's right, if airlines want to charge people extra for baggage weight then they should charge people extra for being a fat bastd! haha

the best thing about it too was this dude took £20 and got 4 bags of food from the supermarket, so the fatties couldn't complain that healthy eating was too expensive. being lazy is what's expensive. ready meals should be illegal! they have turned this country into an overweight bunch of coach potatoes!

i eat them! not too often, but i'll hold my hands up and say, yep processed food has played a role in my life and probably is the reason i'm not a size 10 anymore! but that doesn't mean we should all just close our eyes to the obvious. our grandparents don't get fat. that's cos they eat porridge and drink tea instead of beer. we are a degenerate generation. we drink too much, we eat too much, we're lazy good for nothings. haha, my man says when people write we/you they mean i. maybe i do mean i, but i mean we too cos i see it on the streets of Manchester every day. Greggs* needs to be closed down!

a fat tax would give people one tax year to lose weight and stop being a burden on the health service. it would explain to people that it's not okay to treat your food like a friend. it is a fuel my friend! haha, lentils are nice! haha

i believe CocaCola will be illegal in 10years. that people will be horrified that we ever consumed something so obviously wrong for your insides. that dirty penny trick should be enough to put people off but still they drink that stuff! probably because there are no decent alternatives available. because companies like Coke like to monopolise a newsagents/garage and ban them from providing an option. check out the range next time you're in a shop. usually just one company supplies all the beverages available. even the water. they'll always get ya!

yep. a fat tax gets my vote.

*sorry easy target. but the truth is out there!

oompa loompa

i got fake baked on Friday lunch time.

i never got a fake tan before. i always thought they made people look orange. a little like oompa loompas of willy wonka fame. and me being so white i figured no good could come from it.

and a surreal experience it has been.

i had to stand in my pants in a tent while a nice lady sprayed me with a gun full of tan. then i tried to get dressed without smudging only to find that impossible. i went back to the office looking like an extra from Goldfinger!

not being used to wearing a lot of makeup etc i felt really dirty with this stuff on while it 'sank in' so to speak, so 7 hours later when i was washing it off me i felt a bit better. and now two days in it's definitely less obvious a tone. i look a bit healthier than usual and it's not too patchy. except on my feet. because you have to stand in this tent to be sprayed and the floor is covered in fake tan, the soles of your feet are black when you get out! haha

the reason i got this fake tan? its my work xmas party on Tuesday and i didn't wanna look lumnious in all the snaps as is the usual turn of events. that nor near to death having not seen the sun since September or whenever it was. seriously, i glow in the dark! it doesn't seem natural except ofcourse it is, and i some countries i'm sure it's aspirational or something! thought i think someone once said this shade isn't white, it's see-thru! haha

only problem is since i'm such a novice when it comes to all things fake i don't know if i can still wear my white festive outfit i had planned cos a girl at work suggested my new skin colour might leak onto my clobber! nightmare! i have no clue! i'm guessing it will be okay but i'm gonna have to test it somehow between now and then... how? i have no idea about that either!

i'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

feeling christmassy?

not being of a religious persuasion at this juncture in my life* i don't feel particularly bothered about christmas.
i don't know any kids neither, so there's no one to get excited about it around me.
i am not a miserable bah humbug girl
i just think it's like any other bank holiday, simply an opportunity to be off work without eating into my precious holiday allocation!

my friend is up for chrimbo and i have all manner of festive things planned like ice skating at Piccadilly Gardens, watching the Wizard of Oz at the cinema on Christmas Eve, baileys and mulled wine all the way thru!
so far, so festive.

but what i find exhausting about this time of year is the shopping. for gifts. for baileys.
yes its enjoyable wrapping, giving drinking, but it's all in such a hurry and then its over.
a couple of months into the new year no one can remember what you got them anyway! haha

i've been making a concerted effort to know what i want this year so when people ask me i have a low cost hassle free gift top of mind! haha
but it's not been the case when i've asked my friends and family. my man, after a few requests, managed to give me the name of the book he wanted, but i had to threaten him with the Chris Moyles biog to get that out of him! haha

my mum asked me for a purse from a shop that i never pass about a month ago, but i'm guessing that's unavailable now and i still haven't been to the shop to find out.
i'd have to go to the dreaded trafford centre and frankly i value my time on this earth more than to spend it in that soul-less place!

it can so difficult to shop on a budget. i wish i had a free reign on how much i spend on gifts but i'm a copywriter in radio. it don't work that way! haha, so it's a good job i'm creative with what cash i do have! i think Marks and Spencers do nice festive gifts so watch out people! haha
bubble bath and cocktails for everyone!

i'm trying really hard not to use the internet for everything cos i know the post office can't cope and will fk up hundreds of chrimbos across the country, but that means i have to pay in shoe leather... thankfully i've got Merseywahey** over the road for lunch time shopping trips!

another thing i have to worry about is the festive outfits for all those nights out and parties that spring up! i've been looking online and have a lead on a frock at Next for my work xmas do next Tuesday, but considering i'll only wear it once, again it seems like a lot of fuss over nothing!

i'm bored of ranting about Chrimbo now, i like it really, just not the hassles - it's much better when you're a kid!

*well you never know when the god squad might get ya, some kind of comedy cult springs up and i'm in! haha

**some ck of a copywriter somewhere in Mcr town wrote Merseyway shopping centre a godawful ad featuring aforementioned bastdisation of their name to make them more 'fun'. yeah. i know.

Monday, December 04, 2006

men in frocks

having heard about them and seen them on the telly enough i spent the latter end of last week meeting more than my fair share of drag queens and female impersonators*

i would post a picture but i'm technically challenged at the moment so maybe i'll add it in later on...

i think drag queens are ace. i'm not sure why. which is what my boyf wanted to know. um, whats not to love? a man dressed as a woman being gloriously camp for the simple enjoyment and entertainment of it?

i suppose i find them thrilling - not usual - whereas my man finds the gender confusion they presumably feel a bit unfortunate. but they're not the ones in showbiz surely? thems the ones what love it i'll bet!

people are so fascinating and if you think about all the awful things were capable of as a species, genocide, mad russians going around poisoning peeps in london town, blowing up innocents and then saying freedom fighters did it** we may as well just give up and stop breeding.... but if you think about the good stuff, the music, the books, the pub!! well it all seems just about bearable and we carry on ain't it?

it comes down to is your glass half full or half empty really, and i'll bet the happiest people on this earth are the former not the latter. that's not to say we can be full of optimism all the time! gotta have a dash of realism in your day to stop from being taken for a mug by the less scrupulous among us. but what you care to take notice of in this life has a massive influence on whether you enjoy it or not.

a friend of mine has been seeing a guy who has been misleading to say the least. i told her she can see the world as 'empty without him' or she can see the world as great, him being a bit part that came and went. she has a great job, great friends, a great place to live and is a great girl. it's all good baby! he is superfluous to her existence. but she's still seeing him. must be the s*x haze. the only reason i know of that sane wonderful women go out with those not worthy of them.

i'm tired today so i may be rambling. apologies...

*there IS a difference, i'm just not sure what it is 'technically' speaking...
**more than one government used that tactic me thinx