Tuesday, December 25, 2007

merry xmas everyone

i am stuffed!

i've eaten a hearty xmas lunch, watched some old movies and the xmas Doctor Who and drank some fizz and now i'm ready for bed... but its only 8'o'clock! haha

the great thing about xmas without the ceremony is eating and drinking nice things with people you love around you... it is just another day after all, but it can be more if you want it to be! i can be a bit of a party pooper come christmas sometimes, don't like all the fuss and would rather just go on holiday and come back when everyone's calmed down, but this christmas i seem to have avoided all the puff and just enjoyed the moment... a few festive texts here and there and everybody's happy - even me! 

with a new job and a new city on the horizon i have good reason! it's all very exciting! 

ah, chocolate cake... yes please! hehe

Friday, December 21, 2007

a top 5 for the morning after

oh how i loathe hangovers... and they only get worser as you get older! boo!

and in this season of joy and christmas parties here is my top 5 ways to beat the morning after:

5 hugs. a hug often helps me when i've left my bed out of desperation for water/ the loo...

4 dioraylte. this tastes disgusting (and probably not spelled correctly) but works a treat. it re-hydrates your body and replaces missing minerals killed by vodka. fact.

3 a sesaoned drinker pal of mine said a glass of orange juice and a paracetemol is what you need. it will either make you feel better or make you throw up and then feel better. not for the weakhearted. and definitely not good with an impending train journey...

2 toast and tea. the soothing effects of carbs and caffeine (preferably followed by another lie down) are unlimited.

1 sleep! zeds, shuteye, snoozin' call it what you will, it is the ultimate killer of hangovers... wake up, feel bad? go back to sleep til the pain has gone! hehe

party zits

its a fact of life. there's no getting round it. if you party hard in December you get party zits! haha
all that extra boozin', party food and lack of sleep makes for blemished skin... but at my age you just have to roll with the punches (and party zits) and heck, embrace them!
woo! my first party zits arrived today! haha
and who better to illustrate what i mean than pary girl 2007 no.1 Ms Spears... hehe she's had an interesting year to say the least! you can't say she's boring tho right? Oscar Wilde did say the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about! haha, and he knew what he was talking about!
after our xmas party on monday night i managed to keep all booked social appointments this week bar one (and cancelling that made me feel real old!) but it's a good job it's only once a year all this merriment, cos its been hard going! i'm exhausted and its only the beginning of the weekend! will be looking fwd to getting some zeds in inbetween packing boxes..
to you, reader, may your party zits be beuatiful and shortlived!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

the power of the triangle

is it just me, or does toast cut into triangles taste nicer than its rectangle cousin? hehe
i had such a bit of toast only last night and i was sure it tasted nicer... sometimes i go wild and don't slice it at all! but i reckon triangles rule...
do let me know your own peronal favourite toast recipes...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

award winning

i won an award! my very own oscar moment! hehe best radio ad in the whole group - 25 local radio stations and a national one and my ad is the bestest! whodathunkit?! i should put it on youtube so you hear it... note to self, be more technical in 08

i thanked my team and my producers then was ushered off stage to the sound of my ad playing out to a tough crowd! haha i got a hug from the big boss and me piccie taken grasping the bit of glass with me name on it...

i've never won an award at a ceremony before, I've had a certificate in the post, and had a double header win but the other person's name was on it (i'm not bitter... much! haha) so this is my first oscar moment! haha they didn't even wanna give me the mic to say anything but i insisted... gosh i was quite tipsy too...

since i leave the company on Friday it was a very nice leaving present!

Friday, December 14, 2007

top 5 festive films

there's nothing like a festive film to get you in the christmas spirit! with only 9 days to go
here's my top 5:

5 Labrynth - listen, Bowie in tights IS festive!

4 Little Women - I was named after the character Jo so I have a vested interest...

3 White Christmas - Bing! What's not to love?!

2 Scrooged - love Bill Murray's 80's Ebeneezer!

1 It's a Wonderful Life - I really believe it can be! (what a sucker!) hehe

and no i haven't done any christmas shopping yet... ARGH!
everyone is SO getting mince pies from me!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

good news dot com

i am so fed up of the news!

is it just me? or is hearing about school shootings, the cost of living and the crazies on the street over breakfast just too much?!

i want to start a good news channel - and no religion thanks very much! how did they hijack the brand that is good news anyways? all religion ever seems to do is cause wars!

if i had the time and the resources i reckon good news in the morning would set everyone up for a better day, a better attitude to other human beans...

i had a random convo on the weekend with my man and his sis about how if you have a nervous scared attitude with people in the street, in the evryday they smell it like a dog, its part of how human beans have survived on this planet so long, they can sense unease, or danger... but we can also create unease which turns into danger if misinterpreted, basically we're all just misunderstood! haha

a guy who's blog i love to read had a situation of misunderstanding recently - you can read about it here - why would someone behave like that to another human being? road rage has occurred i think because of the false sense of territory cars have created for us.. its a natural instinct for a human bean to feel like king of his castle in his own space, and a car recreates this making people who invade this space intruders and to be defensive of... or something, anyways what i mean is people are very rarely that rude close up on the street, even on the high street on the busiest saturday before christmas! its because evolution gives us a survival instinct that says don't cause trouble, keep your head down and stay alive! haha but the car takes away the eye contact which makes people behave in such a rude manner... the man who spat in my friends face, he too had a physical seperation between him and his victim - what a tough guy! he obviously had other sht going on to behave in such a disgusting manner, maybe he had been genuinely ripped off in the past and was taking it on my friend... but it doesn't make it right!

people are funny lot, if you take a step back from most situations you can see a whole lot of confused going on! haha

and the thing with all this bad news making people distrust each other is, if i didn't hear it for a year -would my life be any different? do these wars abroad, crazies in other towns really effect my day to day? seems to me all it does is sell papers, who sell advertising, who want you to buy stuff...

so let's see if i can get good news going on cos i have had enough of the bad stuff!

Friday, December 07, 2007

nice cuppa tea and a biscuit

this week's top 5 is biscuits... best served up with a brew!

5 nice (see above)

4 jaffa cake (is it a biscuit tho, really?)

3 chocolate digestives

2 malted milk

1 rich tea

you can't beat a biscuit and a dunk... especially on a Friday after a very difficult fortnight!

please do share your own biscuit hall of fame!

that is all...

Thursday, December 06, 2007

that great big ashtray in the sky

where have all the ashtrays gone?! hmm? answer me that!

the smoking ban in England on july 1st meant the familiar table top friend has disappeared!

i suppose theyv been sold off to non-fascist countries where you can smoke where you like hehe, i'm JOKING! i happen to agree with the ban since i've never smoked and hate seeing my loved ones sucking away on the cancer sticks! it DOES help them quit because social smoking is just peer pressure for grown ups! similarly social drinking is subject to this ridiculous peer pressure, but that's another blog...

but having enjoyed the more glam reclaimed ashtraay for makeshift jewellery pots in the past it occured to me that suddenly there was a mass mountain of ashtrays somewhere gathering dust!

sounds like an entry for the turner prize! haha tracy emin eat your heart out!

it certainly must be time for a coffee table edition lamenting the loss of this sometimes very stylish everyday item... well i'm not busy January so.... hehe

them days are over

have had the busiest couple of weeks ever... i quit my job, i went to my gran's funeral and i had a job interview! talk about an emotional rollercoaster! i'm exhausted!

i'm moving to birmingham to be with my man, you know how it is, nothing ventured nothing gained...

i'm currently seeking a new job but i think i can just about manage if January is a chill-out yoga fest! haha but someone has to fund my fashion fixes so i'm very much putting myself out there, so if you know anyone who needs a creative type in the midlands do let me know! haha

the dole queue beckons... haha

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

boom boom shake shake the room

so its all happening this week - can't get five minutes to myself!

and in between it all i catch myself off guard and get a lump in my throat about my gran...
i'm trying to get on with things - i'm practical that way, but i guess Sunday/ Monday at the funeral is the time i'll have to catch up with myself and let the news sink in properly...

we all have to go sometime of this i am well aware, but it doesn't make it any less of a shock to the system.. a reminder of how short our time is and that we should use it wisely!

i'm looking 33 in the face come June 08 and what have i got to show for all those years apart from a handful of blogs?! haha don't worry, i'm not being too hard on myself, i had my twenties to do that in, but you still should make an effort to make the most of yourself and your life and i think for me 2008 is going to be taking it up a notch...

time to change gear, make it happen, upgrade! haha and any other business like term you want to use as an analogy to making your life taste bettter!

less TV and more books i think is an easy one, i'm going back to basics (and i do have all those unread ones to get thru, so again i'm being practical...)

Friday, November 23, 2007

think happy thoughts

this week's Top 5 is dedicated to my recently-departed gran Mary...

it's always very sad when you lose a close family member as I have this week, and you can't help but take stock of your life and think how much you'll miss that person...

but i want to celebrate my gran's life by writing about my favourite memories of her

5 her lovely home made cakes and jam
4 sitting in her car on the beachfront drinking tea from a flask and nibbling on aforementioned cakes!
3 going on long walks through beautiful Dorset countryside and discovering where Enid Blyton lived, ginger beer? yes please!
2 playing scrabble together and doing crosswords with a dictionary on hand
1 Christmas '83 at gran's house receiving a wonder woman outfit and wearing it all day

i feel a bit guilty that i didn't visit her more often, yes she lived 6 hours away but should i have made more of an effort? i did write often though, sending cheerful cards and updates on my life, jobs, boyfriends..

now she's gone it's a shame... but she had a long life and hopefully knew we loved her

if you've read this and haven't seen someone you love in a while why not give them a call, write them a letter, heck get on a train and go see them... life's too short to miss out on the little things like scrabble and tea with someone you love : )

Monday, November 19, 2007

a startling discovery

i saw a Led Zeppelin tribute band play live Friday night in Birmingham!

Led by Zeppelin rocked my world! haha whole lotta love was a dream, dazed and confused was fab, and generally they did a very good job of playing the hits!

i reckon it must be loads of fun being in a tribute band.. the people you play to want to hear the songs they love, and presumably you're in the band cos you love the songs people want to hear! its a win win situation!

i spose the only downside to impersonating someone else in any job means that you are piggybacking on someone else's talent, but even tho you don't play your own songs in a tribute band, if you don't work the crowd no-one will have a good time!

its good to see that Led by Zeppelin have taken their role as substitue rock gods quite seriously - including wigs haha - cos they really went for it...

Friday, November 16, 2007

creature comforts

TOP5 Creature Comforts!

I've been poorly this week, bad head, bad tummy, bad you don't wanna know! haha So i have been indulging in my favourite creature comforts hence the topic for this week...

5 hot water bottle - on the sofa, in bed, very good hug replacement...

4 tea and toast - can't be beat for comfort eating

3 daytime tv - love that mindless drivel!

2 macaroni in celery soup - my favourite recipe from my mum and a great feel-better meal, don't turn your nose up til you tried it! haha

1 hugs! (ideally from mum, but geography didn't permit this week... ruined!)

a side effect of being poorly at work is a general grumpiness, i know i'm not well if i'm grumpy and i don't care who knows it! haha i'm a pretty upbeat chick most of the time! but since they can't get anyone to cover my work i had to go in while feeling crappy and hey, does everybody know about it! haha

i don't envy my boss today with this sourface on... but thems the heady heights of being the boss right?! at least it's Friday and we all get a coupla days off anytime soon...

and hey! any recommends for the Top5 Creature Comforts welcome!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

clearing some head space

it's odd how clearing out boxes of old paperwork, magazines and general crap can make your head seem clearer!

i mean how many years of bank statements exactly should you keep?! haha i made a paper mountain this week as i cleared out some old bills and wotnot... the local doctor's surgery will be getting a sackload of old girlie magazines for poorly people to read in the waiting room very soon!

i've also vowed not to buy another book until i've read all the ones i've got! haha, i've promised myself this before but i've never been abe to resist the latest tomes on offer...

i also discovered i need not buy another notebook for about 10 years! haha being of a writerly disposition i've always been partial to a nice bit of stationary and often have a notebook with me to jot down ideas.. but i also put them in a draw and forget about them only to find them again once i've replaced them 5 times over! haha my favourite author Paul auster wrote a book called The Brooklyn Follies about a dude who found the best notebooks ever in a mysterious bookshop - so i ain't the only one with a paper fetish! haha and a lecturer i had at university called Jon James also had a soft spot for a nice pen and pad for his thoughts... my mum, having noticed by collection no doubt, once bought me a lovely notebook with a velvette cover. but so intimidated was i by the gorgeousness of the book i couldn't write in it! now that's not normal, but that's what happened! i wasn't worthy of my notebook!

so no more books and no more notebooks til the surplus is done with! that could take some time haha, and what about photographs? you know, that old fashioned concept of actual hard copies of snaps... i have a tonne of them - not all worth keeping but who has the time to sift through?!

oh life's baggage, it can weigh you down, quite literally!

Friday, November 09, 2007

keep off the grass

this week's Top 5 is parks. how do you rate them? childhood memories have to rate highly cos your favourite park as a child got a lot of action! but then as a grown up parks can be romantic, great for a birthday picnic, or simply a ming clearing stroll! big up for parks! i may be a city girl but i happen to have great affection for trees, in fact i really like forests but they don't count right, a park is a park and a forest is a place where robin hood might hang out with his merry men!

here's my Top 5 Parks
5 Endcliffe Park, Sheffield
4 Branksome Park, Poole
3 Central Park, New York
2 Regent's Park, London
1 Sefton Park, Liverpool

you can't just beat childhood park memories like the summer music fest, bonfire night, looking for conkers, a million sunday walks with mum over to grandad's house... Sefton Park will always make me smile...

manchester is sadly lacking when it comes to parks in my humble opinion... its bad enough being inland with only a murky canal to keep my waterloving inclinations at bay, but the lack of trees is just plain misguided! the one thing you can say about liverpool is it does good trees... i guess manchester prided itself on being the great industrial city of the north and didn't think trees matched that image! and we do have the gorgeous peak district on the outskirts... but i reckon you can't beat an inner city park (see 1,2,3 in my Top 5!)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

this is a belter

saw The Stereophonics live this week in Manchester and they rocked it!
i've always thought the 'phonics okay but live they really gave it some! you could really tell why they have lasted the distance...
they were supported by the Enemy, a new band from Coventry my friend is friends with so we went for drinks after the show at Mojo and i chatted to them about how i really need to join a band next year!
obviously i need to be a better guitar player if this is going to happen - but how can i get better without a band to practice in! my mate B should get on the drums she'd be wild, then we'd only need another guitarist and fanny's your aunt! rock n roll - let's go on tour! haha
but i felt really inspired seeing some seasoned players working the big stage... watch this space! i'll rock your world one day me! hehe

Friday, November 02, 2007

new friday feature

some people would say they're the best day of the week. they are certainly often the best day of the traditional working week, being the end of it... i'm a big fan of sundays personally. tho they're slightly ruined by the sunday evening, back to work eve etc, but mosty they're pretty chilled. unless you work on sundays, in which case man that's worse than working mondays! haha

anyways, i've decided to do a Friday Top 5 feature. every Friday, a different Top 5 topic and you dear blog reader can take part! send in your Top 5 for the topic of the week! blogging is interactive baby!

let's start with a bang! my first Top 5 is Beatles Songs... an impossible task i hear you cry! haha
and it indeed it will be difficult, cos no sooner than i have chosen the fab five (see what i did there, hehe) i'll have thought of another top tune from the lads wot rocked the world...

but here goes:

5 Girl (1965)

4 Rain (1966)

3 Paperback Writer (1966)

2 Daytripper (1965)

1 If I fell (1964)

now this ain't fixed in stone. such a topic couldn't be - let's do it again next November?! haha and FYI: solo songs don't count! that's anohter four Top 5's right there! haha

i met Paul McCartney once, backstage at a Madness gig in Brighton (thanks L)... i nearly died from excitment - how very boring of me! But he's a Beatle! i couldn't help it, their tunes frickn rule!!!

if you have any topics you'd like to see featured in the Friday Top 5 drop me a line! And don't keep it simple with music and books, how about your Top 5 taxi journeys (how about that GS!) or your Top 5 parks! Let's get creative here!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

too many books

not enough time to read them, money to buy them, shelves to put them on...

i have always loved books me... can't remember not being a book worm... it's a bit of a storage nightmare tho especially in grown up times, lugging them from rented place to rented place, leaving them in storage to get mouldy, it's not good!

today i went to my local char shop for a browse to cheer myself up in the face of a rubbish cold creeping up on me and bought a book called Lost In Music by Giles Smith.. Now i have many many many books in my collection that i am yet to read, so why i thought spending £2 on this one would help me next time i move house i don't know... but i couldn't resist!

when i was younger i loved the library, went every week, and this is where i obviously went wrong - i stopped lending books and started buying them! how ridiculous! i need to get back into libraries - but i guess the deadline on reading them becomes an issue - but maybe thats what i need! a deadline to get stuff read or it just sits there gathering dust merely looking like a good read, never actually becoming one!
I'm denying these books of their very reason for existence! what a horror i am! hehe
my mum has oft said i have enough books for my own library - i protest, surely there's only enough for a Jodester Wing.. or perhaps one of those Mobile Library Buses! haha, I could have a Caravan Library...oh my god! that would be amazing! forget the garden shed - when i get my own place i'm getting a mobile library in the garden! hehe

i have an exhaustive love of the book! my dad likes to tell the story of how i returned home one day with piles of books from a second hand shop in Liverpool that had a sale on - as many as you can carry for a £1! you read that rght! as many as you can carry for just one pound! now that's what i call a challenge! i can't say i've read one of them! haha tho i was very happy with the Kojak paperbacks..

but it's obviously a compulsion! which is why i prefer char shops for books cos the local Waterstones store is a nightmare for my bank account! new books smell nicer! do you think they've put a chemical in the printing presses to make people feel compelled to buy more books? there they are - all piled up saying 'hey, fancy spending a few happy hours with me?!'

so if you ever wonder what to get me for a gift dear blog reader, a book will always be welcome! haha i may not read it straight away, but i'll always enjoy receiving it and putting it in the jodester library...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

new blogs baby, yeah!

hey blog fan!

i'm spreading my wings and making new blogs! woo! exciting!

here you will find my alter ego Tashwag, hehe, where I am hoping to photograph instances of splendid facial hair on strangers!

I have a bit of a backlog already from the recent World Beard and Moustache Championships in Brighton in September but if you have any fab pics you'd like to donate please contact me asap!

I'm also starting another less niche picture blog here where i can share things wot i see when i'm out and about in my so called life!

one day soon I'm hoping to have something similar to and certainly hoping to sound a lot like a podcast... I'll keep you posted on my cretaive ramblings!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

shouldn't have to

the clocks went back this weekend and frankly i've got jetlag - either that or I'm suffering the longest ever hangover! whichever it is i ain't feeling hot!

it's so quaint that we mess with our clocks in blighty - so farmer giles... you'd think we'd have outgrown it with the industrial revolution but people don't like change hey? haha

all this talk of the time reminds me of
this amazing website - i can't remember who first showed me it but i've kept a note of it ever since... it's quite hypnotic really... or is that just me?! haha

i think at around this time of year all brits should be allowed to fly south for the winter, i just go into hibernation mode when it gets cold... what did cave folk used to do in winter? i guess there's the upside to all this and that's my large collection of hats gets an airing! haha i've always been a fan of headgear and frankly it keeps the heat in - perfect for the practical but stylish girl in all of us! haha

i think this blog has become quite distracted... that's the jetlag talking, see what i did there? a callback! get me - until the next time reader... x

Friday, October 26, 2007

he did laugh

it's been the Manchester Comedy Festival this week and we all know what that means! haha
not much sleep for me! in fact I'm an official comedy volunteer! I've been getting feedback from comedy punters and bumping into the same people at different gigs which is quite amusing! it's a small crowd this comedy following...

so far I've seen many funny peeps including Toby Hadoke; Norman Lovett; Mundo Jazz - drugs are cool, but wrong! - Seymour Mace; Richard Herring; Jason Cook; Gary Morris; John Bishop and Rhod Gilbert... and there's more to come cos the festival runs til Monday! Woo!

Comedy is very much a generation thing - my mum doesn't understand why Ricky Gervais is funny, and I find it difficult to explain to her, if you don't laugh then it's not for you I guess... but what really made me laugh was my young friend Belle who didn't know who Richard Herring was when I excitedly told her I met him at the Frog and Bucket this week and was only interested to know if he was hot! Celebrity is certainly only in the eye of the beholder!
I don't think there's anything better to do of an evening than watch live comedy... unless it's very bad, then it's just painful... but when its good it's such a great night out! or night in - Larry David always makes me laugh if i'm feeling down after a hard day at the orifice...
Reader, may your weekend be filled with laughter - i know mine will be! : )

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

my music

Recently I was asked to write about my musical enthusiasms, and I was genuinely surprised at what came forth! Not that I should be, I've been an enthusiastic music fan for as long as I can remember! My mum says I was probably enjoying the hits of The Beatles and the one and only David Essex while in her belly...
So now I'm asking myself why haven't I written about it before, it's been such fun to write about! I guess sometimes you can't just can't see the things right under your nose! I've decided it would make a splendid 2-part blog and as soon as I've finished it you'll be the first to see it! How exciting! A blog-tease! Tune in next time! haha, I'll warn you tho - it's going to be an epic, I'd written almost 200 words and it was only 1982! haha
I've also had the chance the write some other non-work related stuff which has been a breath of fresh air from the usual ad blurb. I'm almost gagging for extra-curricular writing projects! I really want to do a picture blog... a beards blog... a blog about baking... feeling rather creative this sunny October and I don't mind telling you, must be something in the tea!

Friday, October 19, 2007

happy shopper

It's not often you get to use the phrase 'can't smile wide enough' and really mean it!

But that's what you would have heard yesterday if you saw me at Manchester's Arndale shopping centre with someone elses money to spend! haha

How nice it is to be pampered! 'This is how the other half live' I thought in my private dressing room with people running around getting me jewelry and hangbags to match a wide variety of frocks! haha

I shopped with a lovely lady called Debbie and my friend Clare for around 3 hours, only finding the perfect frocks in the last store, of course...

And I even got a glass of much deserved champers at the Manchester Comedy Festival launch party straight afters! get me with the rocknroll lifestyle! haha

It's amazing to me what a buzz a good shopping spree can give a girl! I guess I tend to avoid going shopping therefore aviding spending money i don't got - but since yesterday's spree was free it was the best kind! hurrah!

It's given me a fix tho and like any junkie worth writing about it's given me a taste again for those days when I spent on the plastic and didn't look back! haha them days are over!

But golly shopping is so wonderful - not even wearing the stuff afters comes close! Except maybe with shoes... but then i can never walk in the shoes i buy so they end up pretty in the box forever... ridiculous i know...

I guess my style just doesn't match my budget. pah!

but while my shopping high lasts I'll try to just enjoy it and hide my credit card...

this might actually make up for all that radio play

James Blunt on Sesame Street

Friday, October 12, 2007

TFI Friday!

Went to a charidee fashion show last night and had much fun! But since I'm over 30 having to get up for work the next day doesn't suit me no more... haha so it's been a slow day...

The theme for participants from the media agencies attending was Music from the Movies and we were treated to songs and performances from the Blues Brothers, Singing in the Rain, Pulp Fiction and Grease, oh and Moulin Rouge but gosh let's not go there...

The best for me was the Pulp Fiction since it was a chappy playing Mrs Mia Wallace and the twist contest was re-enacted! Brilliant! But the Grease pair got extra points from me for attention to detail... they got the 'One that you Want' head-bobs just right in my humble opinion! haha

Often events like this can be dull but with all the apparent effort put in by so many it was hard not to smile all evening... or was is the vino making me smile?! haha

I won another prize draw! haha This time a meal at the hardrock cafe - and why not! i reckon i better play the lotto this weekend, this lucky streak feels good!

Friday, October 05, 2007

the mean Boots lady made me cry

yesterday i had a very unpleasant experience at Boots the chemist!

i know! i couldn't believe it either!

i'm being quite philosophical about it now, assuming the mean lady in question must've had a bad day and i was in the wrong place at the wrong time - but that's what they say about most murder victims and we don't forgive those guys for it hey?! haha

what happened was i bought an eyeshadow (greenglimmer, thanks for asking) the day before and it wasn't until i got it home that i realised it was - and i believe this is a technical retail term - soiled goods! nothing too serious, i wasn't desperate to try out my new colour so i just took it back... i figured it would be a 30second conversation, i even found a replacement eyeshadow before going to the till to make it easier for everyone! so much for that!

sourface seemed a little vexed at the couple in front of me - who strangely enough were also returning something - so when i made it to her till i was for it! i explained i'd bought the item the day before that it was soiled with a stranger's fingermarks and that i simply wanted a replacement. it was at this point my lunchhour took a turn for the worse.

"do you have a receipt" she asked, eyeing me i can only presume with suspicion, like i was trying to get one over on her... but why would i take back something to swap for the same thing for my own ill gain? how would that work?!
i explained that no, i had thrown it away already, but that i didn't need one as the item was soiled (i didn't shop for the last 17 years without finding out my returns rights! haha i am a girl after all and sometimes we buy on impulse...)
she responded to this statement, delivered a matter-of-factly, like i'd just told her she didn't know her own name... "yes, you DO need a receipt" with an aggressive tone only an idiot who didn't know anything could use... like if she said it in such a way it became true, haha
i replied calmly that i didn't want to argue about it "i'm not going to argue with you about it" she snapped back, at this point i was genuinely confused as to how the 30second conversation i'd anticipated had turned into such a personal argument!
before i could ask for a manager, the mean lady told me she would have to 'get advice' this confirmed to me she knew nothing! she wandered off looking for a floor manager and i smiled at the lady behind me in the queue and rolled my eyes, 'how friendly they are here' i commented and she smiled back in agreement...
ages later (about 4 minutes) she wanders back and says "you DO need a receipt, but we'll do it for you this once" - take note reader the old bag didn't maintain eye contact quite so confidently as she had earlier in our exchange!
i refrained from educating her about my consumer rights and how she was talking out her illeducated a*se and refused to speak to her, took my new eyeshadow and left... but as i left the store i felt stung!

i hadn't done anything wrong! and this woman, who ironically had actually served me the day before to sell me the item i returned so promptly, was having a bad day and took it out on me!

i took the address of the company head office from another counter with a mind to complain about my hideous experience. even though i knew i probably wouldn't bother. my man called me while i was in the middle of the exchange so i called him back and there's something about someone asking what's wrong? when you're upset that makes the tears flow!

oh i certainly felt silly for crying about the mean lady from Boots but i guess its cos when someone is rude and you don't expect it, it shocks you... so they were tears of shock not real emotional pain! haha, i'm not THAT soft!

i haven't complained as yet... my blog is surely therapy enough! but i thought it a big enough story in my week to write about so there you go... and the greenglimmer?
i busted that out last night and its gorgeous!

my favourite mug

my favourite mug in the office mug cupboard used to be the united airlines heat sensitive mug, when you put the tea in it changed the colour of the map of the united states, brilliant! a warm drink and entertainment! now that's value for money!

but fickle as i am, when i realised i could get more tea in one sitting in the slightly bigger mugs i moved on! haha

now my favourite mug is probably a solicitor's rebrand mug - its got a nice blue sweep of colour and is the required size... but i try not to get to attached, after all its a free for all in there every morning!

while at the kettle earlier today one of the girls looked for the favourite mug of another girl, and it made me smile because i do the same thing! my boss has his chelsea FC mug, another girl has one with a fairycake on and my deskbuddy likes the one with a cartoon cat on the side...
i think its really cute when a person gets attached to an inanimate object!

but then my bedroom is full of junk that i'm sentimentally attached to and frankly i wish i wasn't!

butler's in the buff

last night i won a £200 shopping spree courtesy of the arndale shopping centre! woo! get me!
and i saw strange men's bums!

at some fashion show last night for themagazine, they had butler's in the buff (they covered their manbits with little aprons reader, just so you know there were no danglies on sight!) and dudes giving hand massages while a few models showed the latest outfits for the office chicks of the world...

then there was a prize draw and i won a shopping spree with a personal shopper! brilliant! like a dream prize! i haven't booked it in the diary yet but i'm well excited!

it was well weird these almost naked dudes wandering around tho - i'm not one for seeing people earning a living doing stuff they'd rather not, but there's no doubt i couldn't help but giggle in delight at seeing some poor geezer's bum as he walked off...

in fact the very same naked butler gave my prize draw a lucky touch - cos who do you know that actually wins stuff?! haha brilliant! my lucky butler...

but who grows up thinking 'when i grow up i'm gonna hang out naked with strangers'?! i mean seriously, its all a bit Roman empire for my liking! i don't know, maybe if i had a perfect bod i'd want a job where i got it out all the time! haha

turns out our new friend 'steve' lives near me and my friend from work, so we may bump into him down the local supermarket - but will we recognise him with his clothes on?! haha

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

domestic goddess in waiting

it may be the weather but i been getting all 'nest-building' this last week...

from checking my larder, to buying stuff for the bathroom in my shared house, to clearing out the cr*p in my wardrobe... i'm thinking it's pure autumnal instinct but i always like to take notice of when i'm behaving in a 'primal' manner, i think it's fun and gives me a little perspective on the world...

i also got creative with some chickpeas in the kitchen last week! now i don't know about you but i love a bit of houmous and cos i had spare chickpeas from a nifty chickpea and feta salad i'd dished up for my man t'other week i decided to have a go at my favourite savoury dip! now i'll be honest and tell you it was a little lumpy but that's cos i need an electric hand whisk in my life, but you know i thin it added to the character of it! i always think of mu mum's lumpy mash with nothing but fondness! infact i'd go as far as to say that no-lumpy mash just doesn't do it for quite as much! hehe

here's the recipe i used if you fancy having a go yourself:

2 cloves garlic roughly chopped
Qtr cup lemon juice
Half cup water
14 oz (400g) canned
chickpeas rinsed and drained
Half cup
1 teaspoon sea salt

PLACE all ingredients in a food processor or blender and process until smooth, scraping the sides occasionally.
Variations: If you like a spicier hummus, add a small red chili (chopped) or a pinch of cayenne pepper, or try a little cumin for a more exotic variation.
Tip: Prepare extra quantities of hummus as it can be refrigerated, covered, for up to 1 week and frozen for up to 3 months.

i gotta warn you tho you might want to scale down that recipe - its been a week and i'm still trying to get through all that houmous! Tahini is a little tricky to get hold of but i eventually found it in my favourite health food store Holland & Barrett...

i squished the garlic in a crusher thing before adding and since i only have a rubbish blender i mashed it all together with my hands - I KNOW! hence the lumps.. but you know what - them lumps had character! hehe

let me know how you get on if you decide to go for it!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

green fingers

i got me a plant for my desk!

a bit of greenery to remind me its not natural to sit at a desk all day...
a houseleek i believe, i wanted a cactus (low maintenance) but the store didn't have any and this was pretty so...
one day i'd like a place where i could grow some tomatoes, i love the smell of the vine, but when it comes to gradens i find them a bit boring... i prefer the park, i guess i like company! haha
when i was at uni i decided my philosophical statement was (apart from i drink therefore i am) that 'god is a tree'... i know you can hardly bear the deafening clarity it has brought to your day! hehe
the idea was that since the earth needs trees to clean the air, cleansing the world of its sins? they're everywhere, just liek the big guy, and look pretty (i hear looking on natural things in a stressbuster in modern life), created in his own image?!
it stands that god is a tree!
theological? moi? i'm more into Socrates personally... it may show from the above nonsense... but all this green fingery stuff was kicked off when one of the managers at work boguht a load of plants for his team and i've done nothing but eye them enviously since!
hence the houseleek...

Monday, September 24, 2007

you either dig QT or you don't

went to see the Tarantino film this weekend with my man.

originally part of a double-bill with Planet Terror directed by pal Robert Rodriquez, Death Proof is a homage to C Movies of old.. but because the american cinema goers couldn't hack the double bill over in Blighty we don't even get a chance to see the fake trailers featuring Nic Cage as FuManchu hehe, ruined! roll on the DVD!

i am a big fan of QT but as time rolls on it seems he's like marmite - you either dig him or you don't! my man seems genuinely irritated by his style, yet is a fan of Pulp Fiction... he complained fo the new film "it's just a series of sketches; you probably like it cos it's like a load of ads all spliced together"

talk about rude! haha what was Pulp Fiction if not a series of sketches? maybe my man has merely 'out-grown' Tarantino while I'm still in the love-haze...

what was great about the lastest addition to the QT anthology was waht is great about all his films... the dialogue... the music... the casting... what was Pulp Fiction if not a beautiful dialogue; cast and soundtrack?! the casting of Death Proof is even better with the C-Movie-acceptable 'normal people' casting... sure there are a few beautiful girls, there are in life, but i loved the 'ordinariness' attempted by QT with his girls in this movie... only chicks will notice and they'll love him more for it... so thanks Quentin for being the kind of director who put normal people in the movies!

a sense of sound

over the last two saturdays i took an introduction to singing course in Liverpool organised by a group called Sense of Sound...

we learned about the vocal chords and how we make sound, learned some vocal warm ups, scales and suchlike (the lip-trill is particularly amusing!) and sang in harmony with a bunch of people we'd never met before, which is quite a thrill actually!

the reason i took the course was to improve my confidence in my own sound... to learn some technique to make my voice stronger... all of which i think i achieved, hurrah! but it was an interesting crowd... some youngsters, some oldies, some inbetweenies like me... some people who didn't turn up to part2! i wonder what happened to them! i asked my mum if she'd like to do the course too and so she did, but i think she enjoyed it less because of the early saturday morning start, and don't get me wrong, saturday morning is something i don't normally see myself but i guess when you get to a certain age its a chore to get up and sing on a saturday! haha*

i recorded some of the songs we sang and wow we sound pretty impressive for a bunch of beginners! i guess the course is what you make it! and we were up for it! hehe

its amazing to think about how much work your voice does and this course certainly made me appreciate those little flaps of skin a whole lot more!

so watch out world - me and my vocal chords are a-coming! hehe

*you asked for it ma!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

animal instincts

i love it when i catch myself acting or reacting to my most basic of instincts...

for example last night and fresh bedding made me feel all content and relaxed - like a bird in a new nest of twiglets haha and it occurred to me that it was quite strange to feel as such just cos of some fresh sheets...

i genuinely feel that when you feel modern life is rubbish just thinking about back-to-basics stuff like how healthy i am, how lucky i am to live in this country, with education and clean water the norm not a luxury, with a cinema outside my house and facebook to poke my friends thru the week! hehe

sure i don't have it all (do i even know what it all is?!) but really life could be a whole lot worse and is for many many people...

at a meeting today i joked with a client about how weird it would be if humans mated liek the nature world - like just once a year in a specific month etc, so you'd look in your diary and say 'nope, mating in March, how about June for a holiday Norma?!' hehe

i'm migrating south in November me! (i wish! haha)

i think we could learn a lot from the animal world if we stopped being the big-i-am of the planet for 5 minutes.. haha, grooming amongst chimps etc is rocknroll, whats not to like?! tho the gang bumming of lower rank chimps is a bit much... they can keep that one hey?! hehe

i'm off to read the rest of that man-watching book by desmond morris my man lent me a year ago! haha

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Withnail & I

Last night i went to see the classic british film Withnail & I, on at the cinema as part of the British Summer fo Film season... Having only discovered this movie in the 90s when it was already almost 10 years old the chance to see it on the big screen made me whoop with delight... (and whoop i did reader! hehe)

not only is a cult classic but its a very good movie! haha (you know how sometimes
that isn't the case) so it was a pleasure to watch having not seen it for a few years and the big screen dimensions highlighting the background like never before - example - a whisper went down my row of buddies that in Uncle Monty's flat there were cauliflowers instead of flowers in all the vases (what is the plural of vase?!) and some of the cinematography was gorgeous and you simply wouldn't notice on the tv...
as Withnail & I is about a couple of drunken thespians it was only just that i take in a bottle of red and some paper cups - as i'd gathered 9 close friends for the showing it didn't go far but that's not the point! the very idea that i was sipping some of the red stuff while watching Richard E Grant in his splendour is simply fabulous! And for my friend Belle who had never seen the film before - advising her that said drunken thesp played by a teetotal Grant (due to an allergy to alcohol not some former addiction mind!) made it all the more impressive a performance!
Actually Grant wrote a very good book based on his diaries at the time of filming called With Nails that i recommend to any film fans...
As you can tell i'm still very much in the flush of excitment from my evening of film nostalgia and vino! haha I only hope they show Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange next... now that would be a night out! Bowler hats a-gogo!

Monday, September 10, 2007

the black stuff

top of the morning to you - or should i say "szczyt od ten rano dla ciebie"hehe, the polish invasion continues!

was in dublin friday thru sunday, i drank lots of the black stuff - with and without tia maria and did the bus tour! hurrah! the thing about work holidays tho is they're an oxymoron! if you're with work you're not on holiday are you?! and as much as i like some of my colleagues very much it still felt like a work trip not a jodester trip!

i made the mistake of going into a guinness gift shop... i'm such a sucker for it! i now have a new guinness teeshirt and bought guinness pants for me and a pair for my mum! haha

met hardly any irish people while there which i have to say was a little odd... i've only been to ireland a few times and i don't recall it being that 'foreign' elsewhere... must just be the capital, tho the poles where in Kinsale ehwn i went earlier this summer... such is life... people get very het up about migration when its one of the most natural human instincts... and we certainly don't see the headlines complaining about the english hopping off to sunnier climes - it would be funny if they did tho - WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? 1000s of Brits flee rainy island! hehe

i had hoped to get out the city for a daytrip to the less commercialised Dublin 'burbs but like i said earlier this was a work trip not a jodester trip so in the city i stayed! it was intresteing tho cos a band i love called The Thrills are from Dublin and i had a song called 'so much for the city' running thru my head all weekend... and the lady on our 2nd bus tour* was a dry wit - when we passed by the old goal she said they'll charge you to get in and they'll charge you to get out again.. hehe she was a hoot!

we went to a jazz & blues bar saturday night called Bleu Note and saw some great live music, the guy shaun jones was very talented and we bought his cd but sadly it didn't sound as good as on the night, and i asked the jazz lady downstairs whether she knew any Francoise Hardy and she looked at me blankly - shame on her! Hardy's a legend!

i did a bit of local history on saturday when we trooped to a restored Georgian terraced house museum complete with original decor and furniture - really cool tour guide called Micheal who really knew his stuff! On the way we passed by Oscar Wilde's childhood home and statue - amazing! i LOVE Oscar Wilde! That was pretty cool... what a legend!

blimey i'm tired out thinking about it all... Oh and if you do get a chance to visit make sure you go hug the biggest lapdancing pole in europe**! hehe its great for hangovers!

*one ticket two routes 24hr ticket baby yeah!
**a taxi driver said that was what the Millenium Spire was - hehe - them cheeky irish fellas!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

nothing could've prepared me...

He (bowler hat guy) is now the World Champion Full Natural Beard! And he's only 23! What will he do next?!
when i bought tickets to the World Beard and Moustache Championships for me and my friend there's no way i thought that it could be so exciting! haha seriously, these guys rock! Jack reckons its a primal thing - me and my friend were only allowing our natural instinct to take over, haha
the next WBMC is in 2009 and in Alaska - i'm definitely considering going - my man could grow a beard for the freestyle! i'm creative director ofcourse! hehe
you gotta have respect for any dude that grows for the show...
This guy is my new hero!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

flip flops forever

went to a wedding this weekend in lovely sunny cheshire... the happy couple looked radiant and it was just overall a very warm and fuzzy say... except for the pain inflicted on myself by myself in the way of wardrobe! haha
i decided on very chic satc style bustier top with skirt and my face round toe black with wooden heel heels... but ofcourse i'm a trainers and flip flops kinda girl normally and i genuinely do forget how painful it is to be in a pair of heels for more than a couple of hours (such is the female brain programmed haha) but added to my ankle misery was the bustier that dug into my ribs every time i sat down (which was a lot given church ceremony/sit down meal etc etc! haha)

so now i have a really painful left knee and a red mark on my ribs where the 'bones' of my top attacked me, its a good job i was sozzled or it might have stopped me having a jolly good time! haha

i also failed to look as chic as i'd planned by having not one but two handbags - oh the shame of it - i don't know what i was thinking! actually i do know - i was hoping to stash one somewhere for later but since we were over 3 venues during the day (hotel/church/reception) i had to lug it around with me - but i'll tell you what nobody noticed but me and i got to kick off them dam heels about 9.30pm and dance the night away in my brand new purple sparkly flipflops! haha
footloose stands out as a particular favourite from saturday night!

but why is everything that i love in this life so very bad for you?
pretty heels are so lovely and make you taller!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

going solo

i went to the cinema myself on tuesday night.

i had asked all my friends if they wanted to see the movie i wanted to see and they'd either seen it or weren't interested. so i had no choice. and since the film in question was big on action i didn't want to just wait til it came out on DVD, so i had to just do it! it's just not the same on the small screen!

but it's weird. not only do you have to ask for one ticket at the box office and feel the sympathetic looks from the plebby student burn into your pride, you then have to buy popcorn* for one, sit near people in big groups and grip your own hand in the thrilling bits! haha
not to mention not having someone to talk about it with afterwards. nope, for me the cinema is best in company, but such is my love for the Harry Potter franchise i had to go it alone haha - i've waited weeks to see it!

when i arrived on time i'd made my first mistake - 40 minutes of ads? jeez! i know its a kids movie but do we have to brainwash them to exhaustion?! haha then the ticket lady had obviously expected a bigger crowd cos she sat me next to a family of three instead of any of the empty seats in the same row, i chose to ingore my seat number in this instance but then had to sit next to a couple of late comers instead... there's something about being in a darkened room sat next to a complete stranger with nobody on 'your side' as it were that is a little bit disturbing!

the film was fantastic - as they always are - i just gotta get me some nieces & nephew action so i can go in a posse to the next one! must call my bro about that... hehe

but it got me to thinking about all the other things people don't do by themselves - despite being a population more and more full of singletons - like going to the pub, going for a meal, all the sociable things infact - its like we've cursed single people to a life indoors - no wonder the internets' so popular! haha

i spose you just gotta remember that most of the time people are thinking about themselves, so the chances of them noticing little old you is small anyway... so next time i want to see a movie and no friend wants to come i'll try and be a bit braver, sooner!

*don't even get me started on the daylight robbery that is cinema refreshments in this country! £1.70 for a bottle of water - they should be shot these people! i saw a little girl go up once and ask for water only to be told she didn't have enough money but she could have some sugar-filled juice instead!!! outrageous! what is the world coming to?!!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

everyone else is doing it

oh blimey - i'm in the midst of a baby fever!

if it's not baby talk in the office, it's baby talk on the phone to one of my friends with or without babbies of their own! it must be something in the air... but this lady's not for turning!

seriously, i just want a dog! haha

i want to go on holiday next year and babies just hold you back! at least you can put your beloved puppy in kennels for a fortnight! haha maybe there's the gap in the market - baby kennels for the wayward parent! would they come back?! haha

obviously it'd be terribly impractical for me to have a sprog in my life right now hence lack of the necessary nurturing hormones but i worry every day my biological clock will turn against me and send me into an irrational baby-wanting-maniac! haha

luckily my mum is of the opinion, that as a career girl, she's not expecting any grandkids anytime soon but my alomst-sister Lou has just had a little boy and i reckon its only a matter of time before the pressure goes up a notch! my aunty Linda even asked me when i was getting married last weekend! how can people still get married when the divorce rate is so clearly telling us something about western civilisation?! haha

what would scoob do?

i was in my hometown this weekend to see my mum and dad... i went for a nice meal and a bottle of red with my mum Friday night and made bread and Dorset Apple Cake on saturday with my dad!

it's nice to spend time with the olds from time to time - especially when you pick up new life skills like baking! making bread brought all kind of questions to mind - who decided you could mix wheat flour with water and yeast to make something so amazing!

this in turn gave me one of the many comedy flashbacks* i've been experiencing since i got back from my week in edinburgh! a guy had done a bit on how gutted was the guy who invented bread must be that we have the phrase 'he's the best thing sice sliced bread!' haha

then i went to see my pal in The Wirral and had to drive thru the Mersey Tunnel for the first time - eek! it's eerie man driving in an underwater tunnel! i had to put on The Pigeon Detectives CD to distract me from the spookiness! haha

then on the way when i was driving home to Madchester i saw the best bumber sticker ever! it said 'What would Scooby do?'! Brilliant!

what a great philosophy in life - it's almost as good as Don't Panic!

*comedy flashbacks are brilliant. because by its very nature most comedy tends to be toopical there are lots of instances in everyday life where you come across things that remind you of a good set... so even though the ednigburgh fest was tres expensive - really its the festival that keeps on giving! haha

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

the biggest arts festival in the whole world!

wowsas i'm knackered!

7 days in Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival takes it out of a girl!

i have some snaps but i need to download them... i will tho cos there's a great geezer with a digireedoo that you have to see! actually on Saturday i watched Norman Lovett's Slide Show and it's inspired me to keep taking my silly pics that I do on my mobile phone...

i want to do a mega list of all the things i saw but my brain is too muddled to remember them all so i'll just tell you what the best bits were for now and maybe do a footnote another time with the definitive list (just so you can see that my being knackered is totally legitimate!) ***

the king of the fest was our fave Phil Nichol and his new show Hiro Worship. frickn aces. all about meeting a guy at a gig and the adventure that ensues. with lots of music thru-out to add to the tale. the man has so much energy and passion you can't help but feel infected by it. he is easily one of the best comedians working in the UK.

we also saw our fave Simon Munnery's AGM. but while we enjoyed it and were familiar enough with his work to keep track of his mumblings and thrown away punchlines, he was not on the ball; he was also in a play (i don't know how long for i'm assuming its not for the whole run of the fest) so he hadn't rehearsed his own show... i felt a bit cheated but it was nice to hang out with him and another few die-hards drinking wine and having a chat in arthur smith's art gallery (which is also ace).

top finds were shabbi - a really funny pregnant london comedienne, tom stade is blinding, we only enjoyed him as compere but well be looking out for him... dan o'doherty and his text song is pure genius and we were glad to see craig campbell again after seeing him at glasto this summer, he's phil nichol's housemate and funny as! josie long's show was quality and ivan brakenbury was really funny too...

god i feel tired just thinking about it all again!

i am currently enduring comedy cold turkey - not that there aren't great nights in manchester it's just i spent all my money and some of the banks too on my trip and man i'm never going out again (til payday!) haha

if only i had a skyplus digital recorder type of thing in my head so i could replay all that saw and enjoy it again but in the comfort of my bed! haha

come on science - pull your finger out!


*** The List: Uncut!

Andrew Maxwell - great show/ Wil Hodgson - another great gig/ The Improverts - fab line up/ the christian, the jew, the muslim and the geordie - good stuff especially Joe and Prince Abdi/ get up stand up featuring Nick Doody and Marcus Brigstocke - free chips! haha/ Robin Ince - distracted/ So You Think You're Funny Heat compere Gordon Southern - top geezer!/ Ivan Brackenbury - fabalous!/ Josie Long - geniearse!/ Jerry Sadowitz - mental!/ Nick Cowen & Nick Pettigrew/ Simon Munnery/ Phil Nichol/ Best in Stand UP 99 Club featuring Shappi (fantastic) , Rick, Tiernan (great stuff), Christian and Jason/ If Not Comedians Rob Alderson, Nick Hodder, Tom Greeves/ Apes Like Me with some chick called Kate/ Martin White - he rocks/ Best of Fringe featuring Dizzy High, Andy Watson, Pam Ford, Robin Cousins and Nick Pettigrew/ the Late Show at the Stand featuring Tom Stade (outsanding), Sarah Kendall (brilliant), Tom (?) Wrigglesworth, Dan O'Doherty(aces) and Reginald D Hunter/ Norman Lovetts Slide Show - amazing/ Roland Gent - free beer!/ Late n Live featuring Al Pitcher, Hana Breen, Craig Campbell (gem) and John Bishop... ooh I was drunk that night...

blimey i'm just tried out reading about it all! haha

an unanswered phone

i read somewhere once that an unanswered phone is one of the most stressful sounds of the modern life... that most people find it mega-irritable... including me actually!

in our office (which remember i've had a week off from so i'm being slightly over-sensitive i know) the news room phone rings off the hook behind me because they only have one member of staff on at one time and mostly they're busy so it just rings and rings - and it's never important - just news agencies trying to flog stories - telesales but for news teams! but they don't think after 7 rings - oh there's no-one there i'll try again later - no no, these people are on commission...

they let it ring and ring..

and ring and ring..

and ring and ring..

and ring and ring!!!!


my mind!!

then when i'm a cracking point and i have to get up and answer it for them they ring off - oh perfect. getting back in to the groove of office life is difficult man - i think i need to become a baker or something more chilled out, this just ain't a natural environment!

too much noise, too much deskache, too much brain burn!

i better get writing that hit novel i got in me so i can retire,
i'm turning into the grumpiest girl i know! haha

always look on the bright side of life

the life of brian was voted the all time best comedy film on a clip show on channel 4 the other night. brilliant. hopefully that means lots of people will be up for the dressing up bit of the amazing life of brian party i'm having next summer! haha

i was reminded of the life of brian while in edinburgh last week at the fringe festival: in particular the judean peoples front and the peoples front of judea!

you may or may not know that it is incredibly difficult to make a profit as an artist on the fringe. you only hope to break even or only lose a few hundred quids because of the huge prices big venues charge in rent and ticket costs. this lead to the birth of the the 'free' fringe festival, which is a much more cost-effective way to enjoy the fest for both performers and punters...

but while we enjoyed the delights of the free fringe both this year and last - this time we came across 'the other free fringe festival' haha which is why i thought life had gotten very life of brian! 2 free festivals in one town - a bonus for punters i'd imagine but such a shame that the two groups who were originally as one couldn't agree on how to run the free festival... since they both have the same aim - to keep the cash in the pockets of the artist (there's a bucket at the end of the show if you've enjoyed it) ...

what was interesting as well was how only the pbh free festival flyer slagged off the other laughing horse festival - the laughing horse made no mention of the competition so it was definitely an acrimonious split for pbh at least... oh divorce is so messy! why can't everyone just get along! they'd be such a force to be reckoned with if they teamed up! such a shame...

people are funny ain't they?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

you gotta love 'em

those crazy romans, you know what they did to the rest of the calendar to make Emperor Augustus a happy man?! haha

August made a real impact on almost every other month - just cos they didn't want to be seen giving Augustus an inferior month next to Julius' July haha -men and theie egos have shaped this world for too long! give february back its days man! haha

i'm such a geek - i got really excited and sent this weblink round to a few people all of whom were pretty bemused by it! haha i reckon my fascination with romans and castles mark out how much of a nerd i am! haha when i was a kid i used to play some medieval game on my uncle Dave's computer (in the 80's - think basic graphics) and you had to rescue damsels in distress and become lord of wessex by having sword fights haha - it was ace and when you won the region you'd enter the castle and find the hot princess - kinky! i wish i knew the name of it but i was hooked - it was my first ever computer game and none have won my heart as much since (tho duck hunt was great too in the ealry 90s - and thats coming from a vegewarian!)

and have you ever seen I Claudius? the BBC mega-production from the 70s starring Derek Jacobi? me and my man watched it last year - oh my gosh - its so addictive and it takes forver to watch the 12 hour long episodes - but its well worth it my friends - put some time aside for that classic! check out them togas!

talking of togas - did you know jesus was 33 when he 'went upstairs'? so when i'm 33 next summer i'm having a toga/ life of brian party to celebrate - forget glasto baby! get ready for jodstock! haha

Monday, July 30, 2007

you may be asked to leave the cinema

i saw the new simpsons movie this weekend... it's always difficult to know what to expect with a movie that has so much expectation involved... so much time invested over the last 20 years to live up - that's a big ask!

i'm happy to report it was a gag-fest, with my boyf happily chuckling away too, so if you're a simpsons fan and you want a pleasant couple of hours it's a go-see!*

what made us laugh before the film was the number of rubbish trailers - it's almost as if Hollywood is throwing away billions of dollars of really bad movies on purpose! there's just too many bad storylines to be a coincidence... maybe Hollywood has been infiltrated by some writers trying to take it down - wow - what a great conspiracy theory - an inside job! let's make a film about it! haha

there was an infomercial just before the film started to remind us that 'FACT: Recording this movie is illegal'. Followed by 'YOU MAY: be asked to leave the cinema...'
not FACT: we'll boot you out! haha which begs the question - in what circumstances having been caught red-handed secretly filming a blockbuster in my local cinema would you NOT be asked to leave? Is there a legal loophole which says if someone has paid their £6.50 they can stay the duration regardless of pirate tendancies?! haha it's almost worth having a go to see what happens! haha

that's great british manners for you, you can be caught stealing someone else's intellectual property but we won't definately ask you to leave - we wouldn't want to cause a scene now would we?!... haha

*my fave 'joke in the background' is the zephyr that passes the concert sponsored by Duff that says 'Binge Responsibly' hehe - you gotta love it!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

a triumph over adversity

Now call me a sucker, but this story about Kandu the Jack Russell brought a smile to my face!

I even emailed it as a link to about 10 friends cos there's nothing like a cute-doggie-comes-through-born-with-no-legs-drama-smilin' to pick up your day!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

didn't think you were a pink person

hello world, my back still hurts! bad times!

my physio bloke Graham says it'll be about 3 months of stretching before its fully recovered!

so in the meantime i'm popping painkillers like their going out of fashion!
do you think i'll get addicted to them like chandler bing from friends did?!
to be fair probly not cos they don't appear to be working!
and i know its well boring for everyone to listen to my whining but cripes it's constantly aching and i can't get past it to think about anything else!!
on the positive side people keep complimenting me today on my new skirt which is cheering me up somewhat!
: )
i know this blog is lacking but as explained i have a lot on my mind today folks...

Monday, July 16, 2007

call me what you like

i saw a billboard advertising a(nother) new property being built in the city centre this weekend on the way to the Kylie exhibition*

it was designed in the style of a singles ad and it made me laugh out loud cos it was such an unusual use of the style/product combo...

Call Me What You Like 23,000 sq ft, stunning interior, 34,
WLTM single office occupier for long term, serious relationship

now i know i'm a geek and i work in advertising but i had to take a picture of it and my man made fun of me! how rude! do i poke fun when he tells me about the differences in artwork in 2000AD? haha
another bit of advertising i am LOVING since we're on the subject can be seen at www.oli.co.uk look to the right hand column and watch the TV ad - genius! women don't buy clothes they buy 'looking best dressed/you had your chance/ its a mans world yeah right' i love it! and frankly i'm glad its come along, not for the obvious daytime shopping when should be working opportunities but for the meeting i have next week where i have to present my favourite ad of the moment to a bunch of creatives! hurrah! brilliant timing on their part! (and nice collection!)

*on at Manchester Art Gallery celebrating the pop princess' career - jolly good if you love Kylie like wot me and my fella do! : )

£100 and some vouchers...

i went shopping on saturday - but not after a very sobering accounts update!
if there was a Shopaholics Anonymous I'd probably have been calling myself a recovering shopping addict for a long time now, and you know just like any other addict, i just take one day at a time and i f i can walk away from just one pair of shoes marked down in the sale its another little victory for my bank balance! haha
having realised that funds were slim before i set off was an interesting starting point, but luckily for me and my pennies the mid season sales were on! so i got a big haul on relatively little spend! hurrah! my favourite thing wasn't in the sale but was only a few pounds was a Beatles teeshirt with the names of the fab four in big bold font on front... i explained later to my friend that i feel like such a cliche loving the Beatles and being from Liverpool - but i swear - i like them despite them being from Liverpool! haha
i also bought an optimistic couple of skirts - as we know July has been the rainiest on record! haha... Roll on August and that late summer! A very lovely coat, some fancypants, a dress and a couple of tops - all in budget! hurrah!
And so begins the downsizing of my life - given i don't lead a very expensive lifestyle its quite difficult for me to cut those costs but there's nowt like an annual accounts update to make you find a few quid from somewhere!
I'll keep you posted!

Friday, July 13, 2007

don't stop me now

i heard the aforementioned queen song on the radio this morning.

and while it is forever burned into my brain as the killer tune from the hit rom-zom-com Shaun of the Dead it was a remarkably good 'morning' tune. it kind of got me into the spirit of being awake. i thought to myself 'that freddie mercury sure was an upbeat guy!' haha

my friend yesterday said his personal anthem was his new ringtone - Spanish Flea - he said everyone should have a personal anthem that they hear whenever they walk down the street - i remember an episode of Ally McBeal covered this exact topic in a very amusing manner- i'm not suggesting my friend watched it - actually he namechecked family guy as a source of personal anthem so it must be one of those things people like the idea of, but he said that he doesn't know why Spanish Flea is funny - it just is - and it makes us both smile when he gets a call - that's the sign of a good ringtone - when you just don't want to pick up! haha

hey this is interactive times my friends! add YOUR favourite tune to my comments for this blog!

employers are like boyfriends. discuss.

an old employer called me last week to ask if i wanted to go back and work for them...
and it occured to me that employers are a bit like boyfriends...

in so far as if an exboyfriend called you to get back together you couldn't help but feel smug about it! especially if when you broke up you felt they didn't appreciate you! haha

its made me think about the emotional relationships you have at work... you spend most of your time with people at work (unless you work in a solo environ ofcourse) which means you better like 'em or get out cos life's too short to hang out with fools innit?!

and yet i don't reckon 'i didn't get along with people' is probably low on the list of reasons people leave their jobs... maybe its there but only on a subconcious level... i was bullied once by my boss - back in 1999 i worked for some Italian bird on the reception at some office in the city*. the commute was harsh and sometimes i would be late because of public transport despite setting off 2 hours before work... she didn't understand and i would have panic attacks on the tube worrying about what she would say to me when i arrived late... the clincher was when i returned from my lunch break one day to find my screen saver had been changed from ' a life lived in fear is a life half lived'** to 'a life lived in fear is a life half lived - fear this - you're fired' !!

seriously! i feel sick just telling you that story - it was truly a horrible time and i would cry in the toilets to my then boyfriend at least once a week - why on earth i stayed 8 months i have no clue - well it was my first office job out of uni and i didn't realise this wasn't normal boss-behaviour! she denied doing it to the big boss who i went to in tears but we both knew she did it... i just hope she gets a cold serving of karma in this life...

i guess i learned a very valuable lesson that day! haha don't put up with rubbish bosses! for the record i like my current boss very much, probably the best boss ever! haha, he doesn't read this by the way! haha i wouldn't want him getting a big head! but NOW i know how important it is so i figured its worth mentioning... haha

i guess the ultimate is to be your own boss, then apart from a normal weekly dose of self-loathing you're bound to get on with your boss! haha 'i think i deserve a payrise' - 'why thankme!' hehe

this is getting silly now...

*i won't name her even tho her name is burned into my scarred heart!!!! haha

** a quote from a very good film called Strictly Ballroom directed by one Baz Lurhmann!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

not enough hours in the day

I watched a DVD whilst laid up with my poorly back yesterday afternoon... I love watching movies me, and listening to music and reading books and going to gigs and meeting friends for cocktails and meeting new people and visiting new places... the list goes on and its a very important list cos its what makes up your life ain't it?

but oh how do i fit it all in? there ain't enough hours in the day/ days in the week/ weeks in the year! but i guess you can just keep trying...

i was sposed to be in the big London town this weekend but i ain't on account of my dicky back, Graham my new physiotherapist says i'll be okay in a week or so, so phew! but man it hurts! i think a bit of the black stuff as self medication will be happening on Saturday for sure!

i'm going to the Edinburgh fringe next month for a week of stand up comedy, then in september i'm going to Brighton for the World Beard and Moustache Championships (seriously!) and the off to Germany in October so it's all fun fun fun for me this year i tells ya, now about that bank balance... haha

i remember when it dawned on me that as a working person your life is not your own... a brutal moment let me assure you... but it drives it home that if you can find a job you enjoy you better stick to it cos you'll be spending most of your week doing it over anything else in your life (though when i graduated i did try to match work for beer hour for hour! haha, them were the days! like i said it was a brutal realisation - i had to deal with it somehow!) currently i work for a company that gives the bare legal minimum of days off - 20 days plus bank holidays... i'm looking fwd to the government upping that to 25 cos frankly i have more to do in my life than will fit into 20 days!!!

what about that road trip around the UK i always wanted to do? what about that trip to graceland on the list of things to do before i die?! what about the week trying to write a screenplay i wanted to take? what about all the stuff i wanna do?!! haha

i must be getting old if i'm feeling like i'm running out of time... haha, must be the bad back messing with my mind (or the painkillers! haha)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

to be sure to be sure

my mum took me to Kinsale weekend just gone, a lovely town on the South coast of Ireland...
we went fully kitted with raincoats and stiff upper lip only to be greeted by warm sunshine for the main duration our stay!
having been brought up in Liverpool, a town so steeped in Irish culture it's locally known as the capital of Ireland, I have a fondness for all things Irish... so it's surprising I've not been more often and to more places over there, but I guess it's just what happens when somewhere is on your doorstep, you take it for granted and never get to enjoy it...
Having visited both big cities Dublin and Belfast I thought it would be nice to see somewhere smaller, more traditional, and mum found Kinsale had a good reputation and booked the tickets!
So we were pleasantly surprised by quite a cosmopolitan little town! In the beginning of Arts Week no less! haha, and to think my mum said there'd be cobbled streets and no high heels!
We saw live music Friday and Saturday night and even a couple of marching bands on Sunday afternoon, drank the creamiest pint of Guinness ever in the Tap Tavern and even hiked* the 2km to a nearby Fort!
We met some really lovely people too, everyone was so friendly, though very intrested in Gordon Brown and what we thought of him strangley... we even met a lovely couple from New Zealand, Hilary and Graham who maybe we'll go see one day down under!
Mum had such a great time she said we're going off on a little adventure every year now! haha We met some Polish dudes who were friends with a Jazz troupe we went to see called Poles Apart and they said Krakow was a good place to visit and i happen to KNOW their Bison grass Vodka tastes real good so... haha
here's to weekend adventures: may all your weekends have little surprise in them!
it will make the world a better place for a few hours at least!
*i know some of you will find this hard to believe as i am quite the citygirl, but yes, i did walk 2km - twice! with only a couple of short sit down breaks to enjoy the view! haha

Hmm, blogger title thing won't work...

i have a bad back. i think i strained it while being over-ambitious at the gym* so today after week of pretending it would go away i went to see an acupuncturist.

talk about weirdville! the nice lady put the pins in my back and the back of my knees and said don't move for 20 minutes... a stiff arm and a quick nap later she took them out again and gave me a quite surprisingly vigorous massage... then she stuck a herbal smelling patch on my back and i went back to the office £28 lighter...

now at first i couldn't feel any pain in my back - hurrah! but about an hour passed and the stiffness came back - does this mean that it is a muscular pain and will go eventually? answers on a postcard to... haha
i called my gym and they said 'we don't have anyone here qualified to advise you on your back pain' helpful! not!!! it's a good job i'm not litigious!

so i'll keep y'all posted but in the meantime please send me sympathetic thoughts!

*being overambitious is a little bit of a bad habit of mine, it leads me to be continually frustrated with myself and my abilities (or lack thereof!)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

we are all tiny dancers

oh my god. i went out last night for the first time since the smoking ban and it was amazing!!!

i didn't stink when i got home! unbelievable! i didn't have sore eyes half way thru the night! welcome to the 21st century!!

the only place i've been before with a smoking ban is New York and i remember it being a stressfree night out, i'm so glad they finally brought it in over here - live entertainment is so much better without the stinky extras!

i went to see The beautiful Thrills perform an upclose and coast to coast gig at night and day cafe promoting their new album Teenager out later this month... i love The Thrills and have bought every record so far so if you haven't indulged yet, go ahead - you'll like them! They played a mix of old songs and new (though Conor nearly lost it with a guy who kept shouting 'Corey Haim' out - he said ' stop shouting it out - we'll get to it!') and seeing them in such an initmate venue was really special...

supporting them were a band who sounded like i'd heard their name before but hadn't quite filtered thru to knowing who they were yet - the Tiny Dancers. they're from Sheffield i hear, and they're quite fabulous! so much so that on the way i purchased their album Free School Milk - i recommend! they've got a a really upbeat sound!

hearing all this good music live has certainly has put a smile on my face, which is great cos tmro i go to Kinsale in Ireland with my mum for a weekend of guinness! i might have to take the Tiny Dancers with me on the old ipodus!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

precipitation in july

its enough to make you wanna leave the country!

i complain about the weather far more than is healthy my friends... but what gets me down is it isn't even notoriously unpredictable British weather - it's just depressingly predictable Mancunian weather!

i also have a leak in my room - which my landlord promises me is being sorted asap now he's found the hole... i know i've mentioned it already but it's still not sorted! in the meantime i have leaky guttering that keeps me awake at night with its night time pourings and a very unattractive brown water mark on my ceiling! i'm only glad it's in the corner by the window and nowhere near my bed!

if i lived in a part of the country that didn't have quite so much rain none of this would be happening to me!!! manchester has a lot to answer for! i checked the online weather report - Brighton is warm and sunny as you'd expect... Dear Brighton, any writers needed down there? haha

july should be a warm sunny time - a time for cocktails and summer dresses - not winter coats and damp ankles! boo to Manchester weather! at least we haven't been flooded out like nearby Sheffield...

like my grandad used to say, it's good weather for ducks...