Friday, December 19, 2008

last day at work

it's my last day at work today til 2009! hurrah! i get to lay in bed late as i like for 2 weeks!
feels like Christmas come early! hehe

here is my festive top five:

5 Goodies! Mince pies and mulled wine are yummy!

4 Christmas albums - i love them! I just got Phil Spector's and I have 2 by Elvis, what's not to love about people singing about Christmas?!

3 Christmas movies! Every year i love to watch Scrooged, It's A Wonderful Life and White Christmas... and they never get tired! The Muppets Christmas Carol, Home Alone, Meet Me In St Louis - there's so many you could be festive til March! hehe

2 Festive Accessories. One year i worked Christmas Day I dressed up as an angel.. i just think if people make an effort a better time is had by all! So this year i have the very understated festive earrings. Today they are litte red stockings, but i also have some reindeer and candy sticks - awesome!

1 Being with your family! (Aw! What a schmaltzy number one!) Peeling sprouts for my mum, wearing your best Xmas jumper and grazing on boxes and boxes of chocolates, what bliss!

Wishing everyone who reads my little blog a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

to Beatle or not to Beatle...

i saw this clip for the first time earlier this year, it rocks!

Friday, December 12, 2008

sick girl

so i booked the day off work a couple of months back so i could go to my man's work xmas do and not have to worry about getting up at 4am, as any sane person would, so what happens? i get sick!
what a crock!
the office has been crawling with winter bugs for about 2 months and while i almost caught one a couple of weeks back one finally got me! i protested to my boss that today should really be a day off sick not a day's hard earned holiday but he gave me short shrift...
so here i am, in bed with some cold & flu tablets to stifle my fever/ headache symptoms, apple juice, lemon&ginger tea, water and cough syrup to stop the glass-in-my-throat pain and a box of aloe infused tisses for my seriously sneezing schnozz! haha i'm tooled up baby!
thank goodness for the internet! being sick is sooooooooo DULL!
i just loaded up on chick flicks for the coming hours... i have St Trinians starring the sexy Russell Brand which i know will be awful but i wanna see anyway (sometimes trash is good for you!), then we have SATC The Movie, and to get a bit festive The Holiday... pure schmaltz to make me feel warm inside!
i have nobody to fetch for me today which is a bit of a shame, but i do have a pizza in the freezer should my appetite come back today - good times!

Sunday, December 07, 2008

wide eyed sober

never been to a work do sober before... god they're really boring! haha

now i don't want to sound ungrateful because i know how expensive company Christmas parties can be and its nice they make an effort but simply put, a bunch of people who work together don't necessarily a party make!

as part of my new healthier lifestyle i decided not to tip all the free booze i could grab down my neck at this years festive do but i was quickly alarmed to find myself yawning!

now this could easily be because this year working the morning shift has meant come midnight my brain turns into a pumpkin! haha but also trying to chat to drunk people when you yourself are not drunk is a wee bit tiresome, boring and best kept to a minimum!

the good thing is i didn't embarrass myself for once, i didn't fall over and i didn't spill any drinks! how cool is that?!

though without the booze to numb the pain my ankles hurt a lot in those high heels! haha

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

the gene pool

back in the late 1800s a French painter called Paul Gauguin painted this picture of his mother Aline. a friend of mine came across it and it reminded him of me - hey my nostrils aren't that big?! haha

i can see the resemblence and it made me think how similar people look across the globe and how you can see family resemblence across generations...

put simply, the gene pool don't feel so big today!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i'm still standing

blimey Elton John likes boobies! who knew?! haha

no wonder he's pals with Posh Spice - she has big ones!

i went to see the grand pop master Elton John live in Birmingham last week and having just about recovered from the late night (in bed at 11.30pm for goodness sakes! it'll give me wrinkles for sure!) i can report that it was awesome!
when you think about the kind of life this guys has had since making it big in his twenties - the parties he's been to, the drugs he's been offered! my god, its a wonder that the man is indeed still standing! haha he knew John Lennon too - very cool in my book! haha
surprisingly the show is full of boobs! on the video screen behind him are many a montage filled with bare breasted ladies... and later a giant pair of inflated boobies are revealed along with many other inflatable things - you certainly can't say Reg takes himself too seriously! and as for Pammy's appearance - blimey! that girl has a figure to envy... i need to get me one of those poles! haha

the doctor will see you now

nobody told me that once you hit 30 your body stopped working! haha
my knee has hurt me a long time actually so its not just the steady decline to senility but it just feels that way when since hitting the big three-o your back gave way, your knee acts up and your face heads south! haha
i have flat feet so my doc told me in a patronising manner (do they know they do that? i have to assume not, since my mum talks like a teacher to anyone she meets and i guess it just comes with the job...) which means, uninformed folks, that my knees are a little crosseyed - how sexy am i?! haha which all equals pain - nice!
so i'm on the nhs waiting list for a physiotherapist and will be on this list for at least 3 months which does make you wonder if they invested in prevention over cure maybe the list wouldn't be so big right?! haha no, i'm sure common sense don't help in these circumstances - better just sign up for my hip op now haha
but i also need special insoles which my doc says are 'ineffective' if you get the free ones on the nhs (free doesn't come into it hey taxpayers?! hehe) so i'm looking at a few hundred quid to do the job right... unbelievable! why are they dishing out substandard care? cos they don't like working for 'free' (there's that word again! haha)
i'm also about to spend a small fortune on my teeth being given a refresher - but i don't quite understand why i'm paying £800 for a bridge that should be £200 on the nhs - its all very confusing and i'll be ringing them to ask about this before i go under! haha
so yes, feeling a little bit hard done by as a 33yr old at the moment, healthcare is costing me a fortune! no more nice shoes for me!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

things you should never have to hear

having a boyfriend who works on the radio can be tough sometimes

especially when they actively encourage you to listen to the big show on listen again cos you happen to be asleep when it happens to be live

and even more so when you then hear days later information that you perhaps shoulda heard first hand not once the rest of the population has heard first

let me tell you, it doesn't go unquestioned, and as soon as i know who this american porn star sending him dvds is... i'll keep ya posted!

i don't know what else to say really...


so i asked him about this sleazy lady and he says it was just fluff for the show and his producer got given the DVD... i can only believe him... but seriously, it's not easy being me sometimes!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

close encounters
so i saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind for the first time this weekend on DVD with my dad and my man... and it was ACES!
i didn't realise it was out in '77, i thought maybe early 80s, it doesn't make much difference but put it in a pre-Star Wars context, or at least the same year and its very interesting!
it's pretty out there if you haven't seen it recently (or at all) - certainly very 70s - and even though i was aware that it existed and had heard the music a zillion times over the years it was pretty cool to finally see it...
i had been thinking how amazing it would be if in our lifetime aliens came to visit earth or we visited them, and i do believe we can't be the only carbon based life form in the universe! so its only a matter of time right? maybe not, but its not impossible right?! hehe i love it and i think after 100 of the industrial revolution its the next big thing, the great adventure for humankind...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


i felt strangely excited about the American election... but i felt like i shouldn't be! i'm English what do i care? am i so brainwashed by American culture that i care more about their election than our own? or is it the sense of something fresh that caught my attention... there's a cynic inside me who says 'never trust a politician' and if it seems too good to be true then it usually is, but i guess now's not the time for such doom and gloom... i like that the new President elect calls himself the improbable candidate.. i love that i saw him dance on the ellen degeneres show! haha
i hope sincerely that he can bring a bit more peace to the world than his predecessor did - but surely that's not difficult looking back at the last 8 war torn years...
nobody's perfect and certainly no politician! but i just hope this unlikely win in the face of adversity creates a ripple across the pond... we too have a stale government and desperately need a change, the only problem is there's no candidate so far as i can see... whitehall just produces the same inbred middle class whiteys who mostly have lived a privileged life to make the decisions for us peasants... 'dave' cameron from the tories makes me feel ill, he's an ex-PR guy and it seeps from his every gesture... he trys so hard to be a 'normal' guy it hurts to look at him! but labour are no nearer to putting an everyman in office... there have been tv shows about such a thing happening and the story always ends with the civil servants winning the day and ousting the ordinary man from the halls of power... cos there's the dirty truth nobody likes mentioning... about how much money you gotta have to run for office this side of the atlantic... we all hear about the spend on the US campaigns running into billions of pounds... i was interested to hear about ordinary folk sending Obama $50 to help towards his running costs, that's pretty inspiring stuff... but over here the only party that seems to be doing 'something different' are a dirty bunch of rascist right wingers taking advantage of a coming recession! great! talk about jumping from the pot into the fire!
i don't know if Americans celebrate Bonfire Night.. probably not, i can't see how it would translate... some ancient English catholic getting pissy with King James I and trying to blow up the House of Lords, but maybe it made it across the pond... when i was younger i always thought 'yeah, lets celebrate a geezer trying to blow up those b*stards!' haha now i realise we're supposed to be grateful he got sprung... since it was a religious disagreement i can't say who shoulda prevailed that day but i do understand how frustrated Guy Fawkes musta been to turn to gunpowder, fire and plot (or so the song goes...)... these people in their ivory towers have had it too good too long, how dare they spend £500 on a pair of shoes while a kid in an inner city goes without! it's obscene. and don't get me started on tax havens! what BS! 'oh my, i've got so much money i can't spend it, so rather than do somethig decent in society with it like build a school or a hospital, i'll squirrel it away in switzerland!'... it sickens me... but i don't have any answers for these people, i just wanna keep asking questions... that's all i got to keep me sane...
so i wish Obama well and viva la revolution!

Monday, October 27, 2008

pyjamas on the radiator

british summer time is gone and autumnal chill is upon us... which has led to jimjams on the radiator! 
have you done this recently - oh man it's soooo cosy! i feel really old admitting it, but hey i sleep alone so i need help keeping warm at bedtime!
autumn is certainly in my top four of English seasons, hehe, we get so many its hard to keep count! 
but the best thing about autumn clearing out the last of summer is the colours of the trees, wearing your favourite winter clothing - including my pink ear muffs no less! - and enjoying the warm comfort foods your mum used to make...
my favourite comfort food bar none is celery soup with macaroni, don't knock it til you've tried it (unless you don't like celery cos then you probly won't like it...), my mum would make it for me when i was a youngster and it makes me feel all warm inside - literally and emotionally!!
when i lived with a friend she would know i was in uber-comfort-mode if i'd busted out that particular dish...
tomorrow we have a frosty start predicted so i'm already wondering how many layers i will have to wear in my ice-box of a car - it takes about 10 minutes to warm up by which time i'm half way to work already! pa! 
i wonder where i put that mini hot water bottle, this could be very handy during the winter..
jeez listen to me i sound 80! haha

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

let your fingers do the walking

today i was accidentally totally mesmorised by the 'other' channels available on our digital tv subscription... 

we, like any other tv viewers, have our favourite channels. we're interested in any channel that shows us stuff on monkeys or the tv show 'cheaters' featuring the oringinal and best presenter Tommy Grand... and we programme the recorder and while away many happy hours watching our favourite stuff!
but until today i hadn't realised the time that could be spent in the company of what can only be described as a Bangal Alan Partridge! Urdu soap operas where all the actresses are beautiful and 23 regardless of the age of the character... Religious evangelists of all creeds asking for my money and my soul... and i nearly called to by the Nicer Dicer! it looks real easy to use and no more crying when i chop them onions! haha, and don't get me started on the H2O Mop, that looks awesome! haha

it seems crazy that all of these channels can afford to exist so niche is their targeted audience and yet there they are complete with advertisers! 

and to think of all those tv stars i wasn't aware of yet - i'm gonna have to spend some quality time with those low budget soap operas, you just can't get that stuff over here any more hehe, it'll be like the good ol' days with Prisoner: Cell Block H...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

advertising works

or so the media sales person will tell you!

but this latest story will hopefully warm the hearts of every atheist in London town...
One Richard Dawkins Esquire has put his name behind the atheist bus campiagn in London which hopes to cover a bunch of bendy buses with this light hearted yet unsual message and i'm almost tempted to part with a fiver!
it does seem very strange to me that so many people in the world are still convinced that there's a big man in the sky somehow the creator of his planet earth and the peoples therein... given the state of the planet its an experiment soon to come to an untimely end! and if He made us in his image he was a greedy selfish murdering s.o.a.b...
i don't like to be confrontational but i guess that's why the bus says 'probably', confrontational gets you into trouble... the world is a strange place that's for sure, and i'm all for meeting ET i'm just not sure he'll look like that guy in the Michael Angelo picture!

Friday, October 10, 2008


i had one of those lovely interactions yesterday, you know the kind that restores your faith in humanbeans just a little bit in the face of fat cats and their lost billions!

i was walking to the bus stop for the first time since i moved to my new house, so it was a bit of an adventure, and i was looking for a postbox on the way to send a birthday card...

i found a bus stop, but no postbox, so while no bus was in sight i had a mooch down a side road i knew had a little row of shops... couldn't see anything and besides had one eye on the main road for oncoming double deckers!

a girl walked towards me and i asked hey where's a postbox? she replied just round here and sure enough in the little side road i'd just peered down was a postbox obscured from my view originally by a white van parked up... i thanked her and said something jokily about i would probably miss my bus now walking the short distance to the post box and back to which, to my surprise she replied, 'oh is it coming?' no i told her, it would just be typical for it to arrive in my minimal absence... 'but i can post it for you if you like?' she offered, how nice is that?!

such instinctive niceness is not to be sniffed at!

now i don't know that she DID post it, perhaps she fancied her chances of any birthday money enclosed (none) but i reckon she was just a nice girl offering to help out a damsel in a bus bind! haha

it warms my heart just thinking of it - and you know i didn't even get stabbed* when i did get on the bus a short time later! haha

*if you read the papers in the UK right now you will believe that by merely standing within a foot of a teenager will get you punctured... oh the Daily Mail how do you sleep at night?!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

first borns need only apply

i have a great new box for dating websites to add to their questionnaires!

i discovered by chance that there is a theory that you should only date the same placed family member, so for example i'm a first born eldest child dating the same! the youngest should date the youngest and middle stick with middle...

now while this hasn't been proven universal its looking like 60/40 which is more than just coincidence right?

perhaps not, but oh i love it how so many people i ask agree with this theory, especially those who had to divorce a wrongly placed partner with a right placed second or third partner! brilliant!

the idea is your place in the family makes you more compatible and i can understand why, parents do treat each kid differently... i have a friend who is the 2nd child of four and her two younger ones ran wild after she and her sister had been given short shrift, presumably cos her parents just didn't have the energy anymore! haha

does it work for you? for the people you know? get in touch!

; )

Friday, September 26, 2008

i know nothing

when i was 18 i remember thinking life was pretty simple (boys and booze)... then i had my 20s to realise what life was really all about (hard work and hangovers) which takes me to my 30s at which point i realise i know nothing, which of course Descartes knew ages ago! haha

i guess when you get to this 'grown-up' age you have a bunch of preconceptions about what you should be doing based on what you've seen other 'grown-ups' doing along the way... so how come i don't feel like a grown up yet?! haha

i have a theory that you don't ever 'grow-up' unless you have sprogs and since i'm sprog free and no plans to change that anytime soon i get to behave as someone in their 20s does right?
well, not quite cos i'm bored of going out every night to get drunk! haha

it's a case of lifestyle i guess, you behave in a way your lifestyle allows... my job means i get up at 4.30am - which means boozy late nights are pretty few and far between! my friends are all coupled up, the kind of people i loathed to hang out with when i was a singleton for their looks of pity! haha a couple of years ago i asked for Monopoly for christmas! not shoes?! who am i becoming?! haha

me and the man have been invited to a whole lotta weddings recently and i'm becoming the girl they ask at the wedding 'so do you think you guys will...' oh god! i don't know?! talk about peer pressure! having a thrice divorced ma doesn't exactly make you excited about being taken up the aisle! hehe

so i guess i'll just have concentrate on the things i do know, like sending postcards is nice to do and makes someone somewhere smile when they go fetch the mail...
like trying on all your shoes after reading Vogue is a fun thing to do and stops you from buying another pair of gorgeous shoes you'll never have the opportunity to wear!
like reading a good book is such a great healer for the soul (especially when the headlines are as gloomy as they've been the last few months!)

stuff like that gets you thru the night baby!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

grease is the word

today i'm gonna make like a Pink Lady and go see Grease at the cinema for the first time ever!

of course i know the film like the back of my hand but never have i seen this teen spectacular on the big screen!

so i'm quite excited as you can imagine, if i'd had more notice i'd have got a full on 50s outfit to go with but a late night out at the theatre watching The Mikado put paid to any extra brain activity this morning... so much culture so little time! haha

what i think is amazing about Grease is how timeless its become - a film with a bunch of 30-somethings running around pretending to be teenagers! brilliant!

Friday, September 19, 2008

thank the claude

i wasn't sure whether this should sit here or in no more biscuits but here it is...
i bought a jar of organic G&B choc spread at the weekend with the idea that being good all the time just ain't possible and being naughty with tasty organics is alright-ish!
well the great diet goddess in the sky wasn't so sure and fixed my lid tight to the jar!
every day i'd have a go thinking to myself 'what a wuss!', 'it's not meant to be' and other such consolatory thoughts, until Wednesday when i nearly broke my hand trying to get into the jar of chocolate joy! so i asked the boyf to have a go but he couldn't do it either - this was when i knew the diet goddess in the sky really didn't want me to get at that choccie spread! haha
well there's nothing like a challenge to get me really interested so i took this jar back to the supermarket to swap, the ladies at the till were wise enough to ask if i could open the replacement jar i'd proffered... nope, locked tight!
they called the duty manager... Claude.
he walks over with his big muscles, looks like i'm wasting his time with my lady-wrists but no - even claude with the muscles couldn't open it! i'll confess, watching his face come over all confused and slightly humiliated by the jar of choc spread refusing to open made me feel a little bit better about my rubbish wrist action...
seriously tho - i'm not meant to eat this spread!
so he takes it away.. and i'm not sure what technique finally did it for him but he came back with an open jar! and a sore hand! haha
wow - i was desperate to taste this stuff after such a drama had unfolded! i took a spoonful and i'll tell you it tasted good... but i'm still not sure it was meant to be!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

grudgerly bear

turns out i bear grudges...

i never thought of myself as this sort of person.. indeed i think 10 years ago i definitely didn't...

but these days i can rake over a past hurt with ease, and for what?!

all it does is make me feel bad, the people who dished out these bad times are long over it no doubt - not that they were even bothered in the first place!

its a strange thing a grudge, lying there dormant, waiting to catch you out and make you feel bad...

i wanna be grudge free dammit!

i spose you get so far along in life though and don't feel like forgiving anyone anymore? like enough's enough, if these people don't know how to behave then why should i let them get away with it? their reputation with me is forever sullied, i'm just learning from experience not to be so trusting next time maybe?

no, no matter what i argue for this bad taste i have about people* who i've had the misfortune to deal with, it all still sounds like pointless bad feeling...

i always thought i was quite philosophical about most things in life, maybe i'm just having a bad week, or maybe i'm just getting old and grumpy! haha

*come on now, you didn't think i was actually going to get into juicy undignified details did you? that's not my style baby!

Monday, September 15, 2008

lost in austen

once in a while something televisual comes along that makes a lady squeak in delight over her cuppa tea... that thing currently is Lost in Austen!

every good book i've ever read has made me feel like the characters are real people, people who i'd love to get in amongst and live the story along side them, which is exactly what Lost in Austen has done - brilliant!

i have enjoyed 2 epsiodes thus far and cannot bear the wait til Thursday when i can watch Wednesday nights episode (i get up at 4.30am remember!) - the twist that she actually ruins her favourite plotline is also ultra brilliant! it would have been so easy to just have her as a scullery maid or something but replacing the lead character with a modern day millie is so much more fun!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

simple pleasures

never let it be said i'm a high maintenance girl!

yesterday i curled up on the sofa with my hot water bottle and a cuppa to watch some tv and frankly it was very nice! haha

what else are you supposed to do when the weather's so dismal?!

Friday, September 05, 2008

friday funnies

here in blighty it is awash!

so much rain means it's time for a joke!

what's the difference between an elephant and a postbox?

you don't know?

well that's the last time i send you to post my mail!


have a great weekend x

eye eye

i had an eye test yesterday!
i never had before and they took a picture of the back of my eye! the lady said it was the best-looking one all day! i think she was flirting with me cos my appointment was late! haha

i've been having fuzzy eye moments recently so i thought old age had finally caught up with me cos my mum's had glasses forever... but i'm fine! turns out all this time at a computer and not enough breaks to look out the window has made my muscles slack! so when i'm tired i have trouble looking in the distance... ruined!

so now i need to make sure and take eye-breaks! Dear The Boss, ...

but this is good news cos in the news this week it also said daydreaming is out of fashion and this is also good for you, so i should be able to combine the two by looking out the window, daydreaming about George Clooney! brilliant news!

multi-tasking at it's best!

Monday, September 01, 2008

monkey forest

whodathunkit?! Monkey's roaming free(ish) in Stoke, England! haha
well technically Trentham but it felt a lot like Stoke to me...

Monkey Forest if you haven't already been totally rocks! Monkeys are just hanging out being, well, monkeys, and people walk around, gettingrightupclose to them without them freaking out!

it's a conservation project we're told, and is just off the M6 junction 15 incase you're passing hehe, and it takes about a hour to walk aropund the whole monkey enclosure where they live in a wee forest... can't tell you how awesome it was!

we got an obligatory fridge magnet on the way out of course but here's the best bit... the cafe on site was called The Banana Cafe - you can see what they've done there - but listen to this - they didn't sell bananas! what? surely you're kidding? i hear you shout - but nay my friend... cream cake and chips you can buy in the 'nana cafe but anything yellow and bendy and vaguely healthy is out! i hope they feed the monkeys better than their visitors! haha surely an opportunity to have a child eat something healthy is being cruelly overlooked here?! or is there just more profit in ice cream? haha

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

too short to reach the broad beans

i was vertically challenged TWICE yesterday!

talk about making you feel small - i couldn't even reach the top freezer shelf in the supermarket and i really wanted those broad beans (see No More Biscuits) so i had to wait around for about 2 minutes for a friendly-looking taller person to reach them for me!
can you imagine how humiliating this is? it's a conspiracy i tells ya! i happen to know i'm very average! i ain't no 'small' person, generally speaking i'm a 'medium' (unless its my ass but hey i'm working on that already!!) and you know what that means?! every day hundreds of people can't reach the broad beans!

so i get home and i need to change a lightbulb at the top of the stairs but even tho the ceiling is quite low i still can only touch the bulb with my fingertips... there's no chair to pull over and the other day when taking the dead bulb out i'd put on my platform silver shoes and still had to tiptoe so that was out... eventually after thinking i'd have to wait til my towering boyf came home to get it put in i remembered a storage box under the bed that would probably hold my weight haha, and i did the task!

but seriously there are shelves i can't reach in the kitchen, at the supermarket and i think its just plain sizeist! who designs these places anyways? a very tall person that's who!

i need to write and complain to someone about this - yeah Tesco, you're gonna get it! haha

To Be Continued...

One hundred and twenty-five English pounds?!

This is how much British Telecom have charged me for a new phone line to my new abode - another thing to add to the spiralling costs of moving house!

they say because a different company had the last account and engineer needs to visit to flick a switch - sorry create a new line - yeah right! more like in a few months they won't have the monopoly on creating new lines anymore and will start being a bit more creative with their price tag but in the mean time pay up suckers!

it's so rude! and to make matters worse i can't have my telly without a phone line? so i have to wait up to 11 working days for this even though they're charging me £125! only a monopoly could operate such a shoddy service - how about next day installation? thats what i call service, i wouldn't even mind a 3 day turnaround but 11 days? j*sus! what are these people doing?!

unbelievable. and i know you know i told them so! haha

the guy at the call centre didn't know what to make of me - i told him don't worry its not your fault my man, but your company takes the michael! he tried to defend them but there's no getting around it, if you charge extortionate fees for not much actual work because you know nobody else can do it you're on the wrong side of the moral compass in my book!

as you might have gathered, due to a general lack of sleep and stress levels at an all time high anyone who crosses me at the moment is getting very short shrift! haha

rant over. for now!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

tears before bedtime

am feeling quite stressed this week, which is only to be expected since moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do in life and i have done more than my fair share!

i dream of buying and living in the same house one day for the rest of my days! haha not in this job! have to move to work innit?!

moved into new gaff 99% now only to discover bed frame has bits missing, wonderful news as you can imagine... a hole in the bag is the culprit i hear but it doesn't help me get a good night's sleep!

the TV won't work, a blind in the front room has come down repeatedly since i moved in, the fridge was mouldville and totally gross and when my mum called to ask how i was i couldn't take it anymore and had a good cry! haha

so i'm emotionally exhausted today and bedless... not so bothered about the telly cos we have the bestest collection of dvds but man o man movinh house is a freakin nightmare only to be endured by the resiliant!

Friday, August 15, 2008

moving time

i'm surprised i haven't broken out in some kind of nervous rash as i prepare to move house -again!

but its a good move - from small urban flat in gritty inner city to roomy semi in the burbs where life will be sweet! haha

since we're very storage space challenged at our current abode there isn't that much to pack up since we've had to leave everything in boxes while we've lived there - but as usual it will be the 'bits' that get annoying, but hopefully come Monday everything will be in place for life in the suburbs...
too many rentals have made me cynical but thinking positively i'm sure the neighbours will be lovely and the new bed comfy! hurrah!

the estate agents trying to let our current place continue to astound me with their incompetence.
yesterday they had managed to book a viewing only to turn up 45 minutes early while i was napping in bed (prior to night out at the theatre watching Mary Poppins the musical which is very good as it happens!) - luckily for me, after weeks of BS from these people turning up on my doorstep unannounced i've resorted to keeping the chain on the front door as the blighters kept letting themselves in! unbelievable.

so i dragged myself out of bed and asked them if they were the 5pm lot to which they looked at me sheepishly, yes, yes they are, sorry to disturb - MY ARSE!

i'll be so glad when these people are out of my life! thing is, the building we live in is such an unpleasant environmen for living in, that i feel bad for anyone looking at it - i want to tell them - don't do it! it's a re-gen ghetto! haha but of course i can't do that... maybe i should make some wee warning notes and thrust them into potential tenants paws before its too late and they've signed a themselves into a draconian contract!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I am not a robot

so the Edinburgh comedy festival was totally amazing!

I am recovering slowly from the cerebral onslaught as my brain tries to catch up on the 28 shows we watched in just 6 days! 28! we took too much!

we spent a kings ransom of course but it were worth it... and we saw lots of really good free stuff including street poet philosoper king Will Stophar (see above) who reminded me that life is a journey not a destination, so glad we braved the torrential rain for that guy! try and catch him if you see him gigging near you!

other highlights were old favourites Stewart Lee who did a really funny bit about a 70s jazz comic called Franklin Ajaye... Simon Munnery's AGM... Stewart Lee's directed Elizabeth & Raleigh Late n Live starring Simon Munnery! Priceless! Phil Nichol on form as always... newbies to watch out for were Dan Nightingale, Stephen Grant and Glenn Wool (who we saw perhaps a little too much of!)

i have a list somewhere of all the shows we saw - its like a military campaign seeing as much as you can there's so much great stuff on - but it's in a bag somewhere and i've been too exhausted to even look at it!

other highlights were sitting next to The Hamiltons at Nina Conti and then watching their show the next day, taking part in their audience game and winning a lunch at lovely Italian restuarant at Sardi's with my flexible ways! fabalas!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Head in Burrr

on Saturday I'm off to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for a week of comedy and beer - oh and most importantly - lie ins! haha

can't believe its that time of year again already! and how my diet will cope with all the naughtiness available i don't know! ah well there's always September to be trim...

hoping to see lots of free fringe for up and coming funny people, but will start off with a bang to get us in the mood with Simon Munnery's AGM and Stewart Lee's latest offering Scrambled Eggs... and of course we have to catch the marvellous despite diminutive Phil Nichol...

i have to get my cheeks ready for the faceache that comes from a) laughing so much at all the funny and b) smiling so sympathetically at the not-so-funny, and take it from a seasoned comedy fan, the latter is much worse as there's no pay-off! it's a one way street for those guys! haha
Dan Nightingale - a great stand up from the Manchester circuit - is also doing a show in Ed so he's on our list, as well as Wil Hodgson, Sara Millican, and Joan Rivers was on there but sadly is sold out (don't even go there - i'm livid at my shoddy forward planning!!)
The great thing about the festival tho is its 'up-for-it-ness' if there were such a word, you can smell the effort and enthusiasm in the air as you get off the train at Waverley, so many people having a go, i love it...
I shall report back once the inevitable comedy comedown has subsided!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

everything's just peachy

i was wandering around myspace when i came across Missy Higgins

what a great songstress!
that is why i will forever love the space that is my and for-go any book of the face haha
reminds me a bit of KT Tunstall now i come to think of it, another current fave of mine... she wears her guitar well that girl...

Friday, July 25, 2008

High School Musical

or rather Grease - The Ripoff! haha i had to watch this kids film phenomenon to see what all the fuss was about and it was soooo like Grease i nearly fell off my chair! s'funny how the same ideas get recycled and recycled over and over...
it's good, don't think i'm slagging it or anything - i can totally see why the kids are LOVING it, but all i'm saying is if they watched Grease they'd love that too right?
i don't know any kids, so oft i don't see kids tv/ films but i think a film that the whole family can enjoy is a really important life experience, i was thinking back to what was the first film i saw at the pictures today and i think it was E.T. even tho my mum says i saw loads of Disney prior to this and possibly even Star Wars and Superman! I also really vividly remember seeing Flash Gordon (Gordon's Alive!) at a little film club in the Dingle, i guess they had little projectors, seems so technically advanced for the late 70s early 80s!

what's interesting is seeing films again as an adult that you watched as a kid and suddenly realising there's loads of gags for the parents that just went straight over your head as a kid, haha...

so since it's friday and i've not done this in a while.... here's my personal top 5 kids movies:

5 The Goonies - amazing feel-good kiddie adventure that made me want to look for treasure!

4 Ghostbusters - this is still one of my all time favourite films! Bill Murray rules!

3 Bugsy Malone - i soooo wanted to be in this film! They had so much fun with all those custard pies!

2 The Princess Bride - i think somehow i didn't see this amazing film til i was about 19, it's too funny! And Shrek certainly has a lot to thank it for...

1 Labyrinth - oh David Bowie in tights, you're such a legend!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

sunshine on my shins

sounds a bit like a summery song waiting to be written 'sunshine on my shins' doesn't it? haha

after weeks of dull, cold and frankly frightful weather the sun has been trying to break out this week so i got my shins out! and what a sight they are! at least 3 shades paler than the upper, more oft exposed parts of me!

i tried fake tan lotion last summer but it's so much hassle getting it 'just right' and avoiding the streakzone... i was even professionally 'fakebaked' a couple of Christmas' ago but i don't feel the need to be quite so bronzed as an everyday thing... what i need of course is simply a fortnight lying down in the sun!

as we speak my mum is packing for a spell in Greece, how jealous i am... and how pale i'll be sat next to her at the forthcoming family christening! ruined!

a school in Lancashire made the news today for banning fake tan which i think is brilliant! while i feel their pale pain - Billy Connelly wasn't joking when he said northerners were so pale they're 'see-thru' - it's ridiculous how obsessed westerners are with being tanned! while fake tan is definitely healthier than sunbeds, it does what it says on the tin - makes you look like you have a fake tan! which surely isn't the point? or is it?!

i always clung to the 'pale and interesting' mantle but knew on the inside this simply wasn't glamourous for the times i'm living in, altho it does seem to be making a comeback as 'fakebake' reaches its critical mass and its popularity with the hoi poloi makes it 'unsuitable' for celebs... but then my freckles always got in the way of the pale thing anyway, not even an English Rose me, just Irish pale with dark hair and a Roman nose haha! bless my ancestors!

the worst thing about being pasty is when you're photographed next to more colourful pals... oh how i shine like a beacon! i must make a mental note to quit all tanned buddies in an effort to rid myself of embarrassing photo moments!

i cheer myself up with the fact that i am not alone and that many of my countrymen and women are knocking about with the same pale issues... it's not much but it'll do! in the meantime if you see me out n about in my summer wardrobe, do me a favour and avert your eyes from me pasty shins!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

oh but you would...

oh my. i'm such a sucker for a good looking older gent! gorgoeus george, the hoff, i have a list! but the old flames of lust have been fanned for the Brosnan after seeing Mamma Mia this week!

he was of course a fabalas Bond but i ain't seen him on screen for such a long time it was quite a surprise to find myself being wooed once more by this blue eyed bit of yes-please! haha

and yes i understand why everyone has had a go re: the singing, but hey, he can croon at me anytime! and the film is sooo brilliant it's gonna become a cult hit for sure!

it reminded me of Grease in many ways, it doesn't take itself at all seriously and just has fun - the greek chorus is freakn hilarious! i recommend and the ABBA tunes take on a whole new light...

but frankly seeing Pierce in an ABBAesque jumpsuit makes my heart skip ever so slightly quicker just thinking about it! haha

there's something very simple and beautiful about a honest-to-goodness PHWOAR moment in life don't ya think?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

i drove all night

i just happened to be doing a few long journeys in my punto of love recently and happened to have some new cds to listen including the tings tings - the latest sound sensation from Manchester!

their song shut up and let me go is such a great driving tune! great songs to drive to are probably part of the reason cars radios are so popular... forget that red light, tailgater, lady who cut you up (how rude!) and tap your fingers on the steering wheel to Dolly Parton's Joleen!
usually i don't listen to cds in the car since most my journeys are over within 3 tracks and i feel it's not worth the bother! but one of the good things about a road trip is making a tape* (or cd as the technology would have it nowadays) full of the latest and greatest to put your foot down to(or not as the case may be on the M6 all too often!)
feel free to make me a road trip compilation tho dear reader and post to the usual address!
*ah the good old days, i'm clearly a woman stuck in the past, vinyl and tape do it for me everytime! none of this virtual mp3 nonsense!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

the original bunny boiler

Oh My God! How can I only just have seen 1987 classic Fatal Attraction?!

I was only 13 when it came out that's how! haha

So I must have bypassed all the TV runs over the last 20 years and I decided to add it to my list (which i STILL love by the way!) but nothing prepared me for the nailbiting afternoon that ensued!

That woman was a mentalist! I'm reading the Female Eunuch by one Germaine Greer and expected to dislike the eighties treatment of this poor woman treated badly by sex-addict Douglas! haha But nope, she's just a mentalist! if she was stalking me i'd have moved state never mind my phone number! haha

There was a documentary on the extras from 2000 including interviews with everyone involved, turns out cos the mentalist was a single working woman that's why it was deemed sexist - but the producers insist they weren't saying 'all' single working women were lunatics, just this one! haha

I also discovered it wasn't the proper ending that i'd just watched! in fact the original filmed ending was more like in Madame Butterfly, referred to in the narrative, where the lead female has a more self-destructive ending, there's even a bit of footage! But test audiences (and what do they know) wanted revenge for the wife... oh dear girl on girl hate is not a good look sisters! hehe

i'm going to investigate what other 80s classics have passed me by!

blind date

i have a blind date this afternoon!
now, don't worry, the man has nothing to worry about!
having only moved to the Midlands recently i am a little short of female company and while chatting about this with a galpal in London discovered another lady in the Midlands seeking a ladybuddy!
so today is the big day - of course i have first date zits - it would be rude not too, since they always turn up for important social occasions!
i'm meeting my possibly soon-to-be new galpal at Starbucks this afternoon where we will hopefully spot each other thru the crowds and have lots to talk about... eek! or possibly not?!!
i trust my friend who has set us up and frankly life is too dull without a good portion of girltalk in your life so needs must, but it's quite daunting! i've not been on a first date in years and a blind date - never! haha
i will post an update on how it went tomorrow...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Why are Estate Agents allowed?

Did anyone ever utter the words 'Mummy, when I grow up, I want to be an Estate Agent...'?
I ruddy doubt it!

And yet exist they do, and ripping people off is what they get up to... I'm sure not all EA are ugly human beings but surely a lot I've come across are just that and so give them all a bad name!
Recently me and the man were told we had to give 60 days notice on a rented place, WTF? I can quit my job is 30 days but if I was planning on leaving the city to start a new job I'd have to volunteer a month's rent? It's disgusting! I'm going to report them to the Office of Fair Trading because it is simply unfair to expect people to be able to give that kind of notice in this day and age. No-one messes with the jodester's hard-earned! They'll be sorry the day they made my man sign up for that fascist notice clause*! I am full of PropertyRage! Argh!

Having said that I am really looking fwd to our new place which is sooo lovely and quiet and spacious and conveniently located... ah realtor heaven, haha

*yes yes, my mum has already said 'always read the small print' but i think it's safe to say this is pretty unusual and they've failed to point it out making it unfair and probably illegal.. pah!

Joleen, Joleen, Joleen, Jo-Leeeen!

I am going to watch Dolly Parton LIVE tonight in Birmingham! (you are now offically allowed to be jealous! hehe)

What a diva!

I had a look at her website and discovered you can buy a Dolly Parton cookbook full of recipes for Dixie treats and Parton family favourites including Banana Pudding! Sounds scrummy! If they're selling it at the show tonight I'm sooo getting me a copy!

A full report will follow...

The morning after the night before and I am fully fledged Dolly convert! Not that it took much to persuade me! She sang all the old favourites, told us tall tales about Jolene being a real lady who tried to steal her hubby Carl (who she's still married to despite marrying in '66!), told us stories about growing up in the Smoky Mountains, played a million Rhinestone white string instruments (I had severe guitar envy!) in 3 inch false nails! how is this possible?! At one point she even busted out a penny whistle! She is totally awesome and I wanna go live in Dollywood! haha

Friday, June 27, 2008


i watched a couple of documentaries about Margaret Thatcher this week, as an elder stateswoman i understand this kind of thing is par for the course... and as a woman i feel i ought to support a woman doing so well in politics which is so dominated by stupid white men... and yet she took away my school milk! literally! haha it's hard to like a lady who could do that... but these documentaries reckoned it wasn't her fault that particular blight on British kids, she was however responsible the current housing price crisis, selling off council homes and forbidding the cash to be spent on more social housing resulting in a massive lack of property and literally putting people on the streets... she also said 'there's no such thing as society' and unfortunately it became a self-fulfilling prophesy... thanks Mags! i did feel sorry for her watching when she was teary-eyed being booted from No.10, but she'd been a bit out of touch for a while to say the least and it only confirms my belief that no-one who deserves power desires it...
currently we're watching the tide turning to the right again in this country when the leader of the Tory party is no more than a spin king who used to be the party's PR boy! when will ordinary folk let alone women get an opportunity to run the world? Maggie was quoted in vintage Beeb footage back when it was 12 women in a 600 member house of parliament, perhaps it was because the men were already in charge and not keen for women to get involved, which leads to me to my next point...
I'm reading Germaine Greer's 70s classic The Female Eunuch from which i've already gleaned that child rearing is a male conspiracy to keep women at home and marriage something no right minded woman would enter into! She says women should shun what is expected of them by our patriarchal societies, and that this would mean no marriage, no weakness, no moral code! blimey! but i do wonder about the battle of the sexes... what a great thing it would be to pop your head round the door of a parallel universe where women ruled the world... would there still be war and suffering? certainly when Queen Elizabeth I ruled Britannia wars still raged, but perhaps this was the world she merely inherited from the Kings before her... if there's one thing i've learned is that you can be a mean person man or woman, as well you can be a kind one. I'm glad of the one i chose to try and be regardless of all those around me who only look out for number one. they'll get theirs in the end.
you reap what you sow baby!
now, to bra burning*... hehe
*she never said this btw, this would be another form of repression apparently - hey i'm only on chapter 2!

the commercial break

a strange thing has happened to my TV viewing habit...

since we got this digital recorder thingymaboby i don't see many TV adverts...

what's the problem? well i didn't have any problem with it until i accidentally caught an ad break watching TV in real time recently and watched an ad that made me laugh and i had a moment of nostalgic regret! haha

i really really REALLY loved ads when i was a teenager - the funny ones i mean - and while they are few and far between, i feel kinda sad at missing them!


never thought i'd see the day i missed the 30 second spot! i hate being forced to watch an over-long ad break with rubbish ads that have a higher volume than the TV programmes themselves so they irritate further - sorry - stand out! Oh and no, they're not supposed to do that but they do anyway...

but you can't help but enjoy an ad like this can you?

maybe i'll have to just ffwd thru the rubbish ones from now on!

Monday, June 23, 2008

cyber shopping

no wonky wheeled trolley... no screaming toddlers with exasperated mums... no long line at the checkout and no impulse purchases! oh me oh my i just discovered online grocery shopping!
it seems i have come full circle with the supermarket...
when you're a child you tire of them easily and fall out with the person who won't let you have sweets helpfully placed by the checkouts.... then as a young adult you get to go by yourself filling your trolley with beer and pizza which is very satisying... then shopping becomes a chore again so you top up at the local spa instead of facing the 42 isles supermarkets have become - they're so exhausting!
then you discover online groceries delivered to the door - but aha! you may think - what about the costs of delivery?! well not enough for me to divide it by petrol consumption and time usage and decide £5 ain't so bad! haha
and not only did the young man who delivered my groceries come to my building - he came up in the lift and carried my order into the kitchen! fan-bloody-tastic! i'm never going shopping again! haha, all i need to do now is convince my man we can afford a laundry service too and the good times are truly here! hehe

Friday, June 20, 2008

birthday cupcakes

can anything beat cupcakes by post?! yes. and i'll tell you what... surprise cupcakes by post! haha
my friend kc has seriously upped the stakes in giftage this year by sending me a polka dot tin of sugary goodness for my birthday this weekend! what a legend!
i'm very excited because tomorrow i'm going for Birthday* Cocktails. i have a new frock, new shoes, and by about 2.30 this afternoon i'll have shiny new hair too! yey! i know how to do birthdays, as celebrant or guest of, i get suitably excited every time, and i really don't understand people who don't 'do' birthdays! can you really just not be into getting lovely friends and family together for drinkies?!
ofcourse the party zit is in full effect... pah!
*This weekend anything that i enjoy will be officially part of my birthday celebrations, you don't turn 33 everyday! haha

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

men on the moon

i recently watched a documentary about the men who've been to the moon, interviews and original news footage all stapled together... and it was really inspiring!

not that i have any wish to boldly go* myself, but the very fact that we live in a time that we have the technology to send people into such an inhospitable domain and come back to tell the tale... the now elderly astronauts talked about looking out the window of the rocket and seeing our planet just hanging in midair, the earth rise, a random but beautiful collection of gas and matter creating life as we know it!

it really makes you think about the world from a different perspective... and after last week's political botherings it was a refreshing one! it's such a shame that we spend so much energy on this planet making a mess and depriving the many to benefit the few... such a shame that people get so bogged down in the problems in life rather than celebrate all the good that is around them - like my friend Tony says, what's wrong with life is always available, focus on the good stuff and you'll realise your life is blessed... family, friends and loved ones, opportunities and the freedom** that we have in this life make it too precious to waste!

*once a James T Kirk fan, always a fan (but what does the T stand for?!)
**i only wish that everyone had the freedom we enjoy this side of the world... but that's another blog!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I don't do politics generally. It seems to me that the old adage that 'power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely' has been nothing but proved over and over again by today's and yesterday's self-serving politicians. Sadly, those who seek power rarely deserve it.

But today i must make an exception...

Here in Blighty yesterday a vote was held in the House of Parliament to give the police the right to hold a person without charge for 42 days (an increase from the current 28 days itself an recent increase from 14 days) to protect us all from terrorism. Even tho a select committee asked to investigate whether 42 days would help the police said that 'No, on reflection, it wouldn't actually help...' So this law has been agreed despite half of all people held for 28 days proving innocent and the majority of guilty suspects being charged within 2 weeks.

The Magna Carta (1215), included 'Habeus Corpus' to protect ordinary people from unlawful imprisonment. This Act of Parliament is morally wrong and while I welcome the Government trying to protect us from crimes against society - there has been no decent evidence to prove that this terrible crime against civil liberties will help one jot! What it is, is ego. A PM who doesn't want to lose face. Next thing you know he'll be telling us God told him to do it (seems a favourite with politicians recently that one) It's almost like good old Gordon has a secret desire to leave his job but wants to be pushed rather than jump!

Imagine that? 42 days... 6 weeks... 1000 hours! Being picked up by PC Plod for looking at him funny, nay not wearing the right clothes and not knowing what was going to become of you for 6 weeks?! That sort of thing only happens in 'uncivilised' countries right?!

Call it what you will but these times make me uncomfortable. Our grandparents didn't go to war to have a dictatorship impressed upon their descendants. The Magna Carta did not just happen. It took hundreds of years of the ordinary man to snatch a decent standard of living from those in positions of power. Hence we are now 'ruled by consent' by Queen Liz and her people's choice PM.

I've been reading a pretty interesting book this last few weeks called The Progressive Patriot by Billy Bragg. It explains the history of England that I hadn't really thought about before. The fact that the power was not easily given up by Kings and Queens of time gone by. That if it wasn't for some peeved Baron's being deprived of land and money willy nilly by ruling monarchy and literally forcing them to agree it was unlawful and unfair they'd still be treating us all like peasants. We only got the right to healthcare and an education after WWII. That's only 63 years ago! 63! Madness.

I think I'm going to start my own Pink Party. My manifesto would involve Peace Love and Understanding. I'll be assassinated no doubt by all the politicos whose business is war poverty and misery but at least I'd have tried to save this Great nation of ours...

I need a cup of tea...

Monday, June 09, 2008

Deal or No Deal Baby!

Oh my! Sometimes i forget how excitable i can become... But on Friday I could hardly contain myself with the prospect of going to see Deal Or No Deal being filmed! haha

Thing is, i know it's just a TV show and i know the waiting around can be a bit boring, but you know what so can loads of things in life and it's all about your attitude! as far as i was concerned this was going to be best Friday afternoon ever and nothing would convince me otherwise!

It's due to this unblinking excitment of the day ahead that i was really stressed about being late, about getting lost in Bristol's new one-way system despite (or in thanks to) Sat Nav, and whether being late would ruin our front row chances! haha my boyf got in the neck about taking too much time at the motorway services and he dutifully put his foot down - nothing stands between me and Noel! haha

When we got there we met our friends in other vehicles (an impressive party of 8 no less) and we lined up with me easily being the most excited person in the entire queue! Why these other people had bothered to come if they weren't excited i don't know... When we got to the front of the queue turns out the guy i booked out tickets with on the telephone was ticking off names, so obviously i hugged him! haha you can't take me anywhere!

In the waiting room there was a silly cut out of Noel and the Banker so you could pop your head thru to be the Banker's face, i stuck my head thru to everyone's bemusement but the picture looked really disproportionate so i look like i have a shrunken head! haha, there was also a DOND video game that i went on - and again - was really exicted about it all! What i couldn't work out was why everyone else in the holding room was so low energy... i guess this is why when i asked for a Noel autograph they got it for me! And they put me on the front row! woo! just yards from the mighty Noel and all the action!

I definitely recommend it - in fact i'd like to go again if it wasn't so far away... Was a bit disappointed not to get a mug but you can't have it all i suppose... i wonder if i should audition to be a contestant - would my boss give me the time off?! haha, you have to live with the other contestants for weeks in a hotel in Bristol! Madness!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Life Is A Cabaret Old Chum

OMG! I'm going to see Liza freakn Minelli tonight! That's Liza with a Z baby!

I shall be frocked and cocktailed up and hopefully there'll be amusing anecdotes a-plenty!

I will report back...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

retail hell

i had the misfortune to need help from the sales assistants of Birmingham yesterday, i say misfortune, however i had no idea it would be so difficult to have my problem solved...

let me take you back to the beginning of my sorry tale. a couple of weeks ago i was in New York (i'm sure i mentioned it?!) and i bought a tee shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch as a US/ OC style momento (they've arrived in the UK in London but not in Brum as yet) only to discover the guy hadn't taken off my tag - brilliant service! so since i didn't get a chance to take it to a store in NY i figured i'd just take it to a kindly Blighty store and everything would be fine...

aware i would look like a potential shoplifter trying to make good a previous job i took along my receipt and went into the first store i got to which happened to be MUJI. 3 let's say very 'metrosexual' guys with silly hair looked at me like a freak for rudely interrupting their tales of the night before and i timidly asked if they could help me, this tee shirt with a tag attached needed freeing etc etc when i was asked a question that would never had occurred to me:
"did you buy it at MUJI in America?"
"well we can't help you"
but there was no apology, or explanation or sympathy to my plight, his tone and look where all of "how dare you ask us for help - get out of our shop" i should have stayed and browsed to make him uncomfortable but i didn't, i simply scuttled off cheeks aglow for the social embarrassment of being turned down when asking for help...

How odd i thought.. I'd pop into H&M and they'll help me.

But the same thing happened! The girl said "did you buy it in H&M?" and physically withdrew in horror at the prospect of touching my other brand tee! what on earth was going on?! why didn't these people understand that these were extraneous circumstances and their little staff handbook saying don't take tags off non-store goods surely didn't apply here? i'd have gotten annoyed if i thought they had the wits to understand why...

Next stop Urban Outfitters... and finally a human being served me, felt sympathy for me and tried to help, only to discover my tag was incompatible with their de-tagger. ruined! They suggested i write to A&F and complain of my plight but i wasn't going to give up that easily...

Adidas staff were unable to help but examined the tag and persuaded me to back track to JJB sports since theyknew they used the same tags - what a drama this was turning out to be...

Setting off alarms in almost every shop i went into, when i got to JJB all worn out from traipsing and explaining myself, the security guard explained i must have a tag on my person, yes i said, hopefully not for much longer! the nice lady at JJB helped me out and i went on my way but whodathunkit would be so much hassle getting a little retail help?!

and with all that money i spend in those shops too... ruddy cheek!

Friday, May 23, 2008

der d-de-der, der d-der...

(tell me you recognised the tune from the blog title alone?! haha)
that's what i heard as i queued to by my tickets for the new Indiana Jones movie yesterday!
a bunch of young fellas were singing the famous theme tune as they waited, clearly as excited as me about the forthcoming cinematic event!
and i'm happy to report all is well with the Jones brand... some callbacks, some quips about his age, some cheesy Spielberg moments, great baddies and ridiculous chase sequences - just about what you'd expect from an Indiana Jones movie! i can't understand why the papers are giving it bad reviews - what did they expect? it was never going to be Hamlet?! (although there is a skull involved...hehe)
i even wore my new hat from NYC which just slightly resembles the famous Jones one for the occasion, and let me tell you, there were a few jealous looks (at least thats what i hoped they were! haha)
now i just have to get me a whip...

Monday, May 19, 2008

big apple adventurers

Lenny's Pizza? Forget about it... hehe

This was my NYC highlight for sure, seeing where JT strut his stuff down in Brooklyn for the disco sensation Saturday Night Fever. I had the pleasure of eating at this famous pizza joint while on my magical mystery tour of New York with my cyberpal* GS who writes a great blog about his yellow cab adventures...

Only my second trip to the Big Apple, after a few days of rushing around doing stuff, seeing things and meeting interesting people, i once again felt dismayed on the day of departure at having not squeezed more in but when you're in town for just 3 nights you just have to resign yourself to doing the bits you missed next time, and since its such a great city to visit there'll always be a next time!

*although now we've actually met he is surely now my actual pal?! oh the wonders of the interweb!

Monday, May 12, 2008

homemade scones with vintage cider

Picture it: it's Saturday night, I've rustled up some homemade scones for the first time ever... they smell edible, they look edible... add some clotted cream and jam and boy do they taste edible! haha washed down with some vintage 7.4% appley goodness from my trip to Newquay last weekend and life on the balcony at Jodester Towers was all well! How rock n roll am i?!
Then yesterday I made an apple and blueberry crumble... listen, have clotted cream: will bake! can't let it go to waste can i? would be such a shame...

Friday, May 09, 2008

portrait of a nation

oh dear. the popular tourist guide series Rough Guide have published this damning summary of us Brits.

well how very dare they! problem is i do like drinking and watching reality TV, oops! haha and while i hope i'm not obese i can't resist them biscuits so maybe that's my fate!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

it's a strange strange world we live in

imagine my surprise when i chanced upon this on the world wide web!

words cannot really describe how the last 7 minutes of my life have panned out, who knew safe sex could be so Bollywood!


and very informative...

something you don't see very often

it's been sunny in England now for 4 days running... before the weekend there'll be a hosepipe ban! haha

the English alleged pre-occupation with the weather is much debated but I don't buy it as anything other than a healthy interest in knowing how to dress on any given day! Billy Connelly says 'there's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing' and he should know he's from Scotland! haha

when my mum lived in Italy i used to explain to the locals that our weather was simply unpredictable, and that a brolly and sunglasses are essentials to have on you most days... unless you live in Manchester, then just a brolly will do! hehe

i think this explains our love of pubs too, it rains such a lot that we need some place to cower and chat - not going home til the rain has a break - hence it being the topic of conversation! it's inextricably entwined in our everyday existence!

at least we leave the house when it rains... in Italy they stay home and cancel plans to avoid stepping out and getting their perfectness mussed! they're such a good looking nation, it must be hard for them ; )

i must say though my shins seem to be enjoying the fresh air this week, they've not seen daylight since about last August! haha

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

oh i do like to be beside the seaside

ooh just look at that! i have just spent the weekend there! how ruddy lovely too...

I'd not been to the South West coast before and so me and my mate R put the new Madge CD in the car and headed down the M5 saturday morning...

A bag of jelly babies and a can of Redbull later and we arrived at curious signs for places like RedRuth, Cocks and Tongue End! Nearing our destination we saw a sign for Tunnels Through Time (which i decided needed an echo whenever read aloud: Tunnels Through Time time time)
but ironically, we didn't have time to investigate them, hehe

Our hotel was right on the seafront, and minutes after checking in we skipped to the beach (i jest not, we were quite excited - and remember the jelly babies!) and drank in the sights and sounds of the gorgeous setting of Fistral Beach...

We tried some local cider, met a fudgelier, and strangely a lot of Northerners and tried to avoid bumping into the drunken stags and hens falling about the small town's streets...

I even ventured a paddle and quickly discovered why the surfers were all decked out in winter gear! it was like ice, but i needed waking up anyways cos it was lovely and sunny and i was feeling a bit sleepy after the wee beers we'd be drinking!

with a heavy heart we jumped back in the car Monday morning, but we will definitely go back next year - it's soooo lovely!

Big up Newquay!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

her madgesty

Good ol' Madge has a new record out so there's been a lot of chat about her and her musical adventures, and yesterday on The Hits music channel they had a feature called Madonna: Back To The Beginning or something...

It started at 7pm and was on til around midnight (way past my bedtime) and I watched the first hour, well in truth listened mostly, occasionally watching is more like it, while I read the paper and I felt compelled to say how pleasant it was... you just can't beat her pop hits!

As driven a human being as she seems to be, even she can't have thought back in '85 "I'll be working a purple leotard when I'm pushing 50 baby" haha

I'm so gutted I had to go to bed, I only got as far as 1998 and Ray of Light, I'd have loved to see the Bedtime Stories vids, and even earlier stuff like Borderline... ah good ol' Madge!

And today I got her new album for free at work, good times!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

There ain't nothing like a dame

I admit that the words 'too much' and 'time on hands' spring to mind but here goes...

I've been blog-tagged by Scott at Me and My Big Mouth and since it would be rude not to take part, in this post I have to list six random things about me...
I hope you appreciate the Cillit Bang approach:

Fact: I have Christopher Biggins mobile phone number.
Fact: I like banana sandwiches.
Fact: I suspect that I enjoy colour co-ordination and alliteration more than most.
Fact: It's my mum's birthday tomorrow. Tanti Aguri Mamma!
Fact: I was once a Saturday girl at HMV Basingstoke. GTs.
Fact: I've lived in 10 different towns/cities in the last 12 years! I knows good boxes!

Now I'm to nominate and tag six other people...

New York Taxi Tales

Matt and Dave's Trip Around The World

Nicholarse - no longer updated but a good back-cat

I've ran out of people I know who blog, despite my encouragements, clearly my pals are just a lazy bunch! So here's some what I read...

The Man Who Fell Asleep

Charlie Brooker

And this one inspired my own blogging so hats off to him!

Richard Herring

The rules, if they decide to play, are:
Link to the person that tagged you - i.e. me.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about you in a blog post.
Tag six people in your post.
Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know your entry is up.

No bloggers were harmed in the making of this blog-tag.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

St George's Day

Happy St George's Day!

Born in Turkey, this guy was a Roman soldier who marty'd hisself for his fellow Christians in ancient Rome... I read that the reason he is patron saint of England is because he stood for English ideals of honour, bravery and gallantry... though I can't say you come across any of those very often these days... perhaps our new patron saint would be more like Jeremy Clarkson! haha

I've got to say, regardless of how many people winge about life in England I'm a fan. I'm going to visit the Great English Seaside in a couple of weeks with my friend R and I'll be taking my wellies AND sunglasses! Cos even though you can never tell what the weather is going to throw at you, what you DO know is, since you're English you can handle any weather! haha

I know its not Friday but my Top 5 things about England are as such:

5 Bangers and Mash (veggie options available!) - what's not to love about a good hearty meal*

4 English Countryside - a walk in the peaks will put hairs on yer chest and pink in yer cheeks**

3 English Weather - what else would we talk about at bus stops?!***

2 English Culture - The Beatles, Stewart Lee, Harry Hill... I could go on****

1 Proper English Pubs! Did we invent them? I reckon we must've on account of all the rain and the need to socialise... I do loves pubs me...

So today, whether you be drinking ale or a nice cup of tea, make a toast to St George and England!

*preferably in a pub with a pint!
**preferably with a pub to stop and enjoy the view in...
*** and all that rain is great pub weather after all!
****all of which enhanced when accompanied by a nice pint of your favourite ale, hehe, do you see where I'm going with this?!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

your country needs you!

like a thunderbolt from the blue it hit me...

my shoe addiction just got worthy! the economy is teetering on troublesome times and here i am willing to spend on the high street when all sensible people are closing their wallets! those pink platforms at Kurt Geiger seem frivalous? i think you'll find you're helping halt an economic downturn! haha

nu shoes = better economy! women of Britain unite! we alone can halt this crazy economic turmoil, by doing what we do best! shopping! hurrah!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Trinny and Susannah worship

I had the pleasure of seeing the lovely fashionistas in the flesh last week!
Style in The City in Birmingham was a three day event at which the Trinny & Susannah Style Academy pulled into town hoiking up bra straps and making trembling lillies of grown women who clearly didn't know any better!
It was fabulous!
I saw half a dozen badly dressed women transformed before my very eyes! I don't even care if it was a set up - it was truly marvellous hehe
They even divulged their own secrets to looking good despite short legs and baby bellies... It was so cool seeing them in person, they're TV royalty as far as I'm concerned! My only regret is that I was flying solo and only had the camaraderie of the mostly female crowd, it would have been great to be there with a friend but it was during the day when most people work and well, iIdon't have too many female friends in Brum just yet... But so as not to miss out on post-show euphoria I called several ladies who I knew would be greatly jealous not to have been there!
Having thought it through afters, while it was a compliment not to have been picked from the audience for a makeover, I should have 'dressed-down' to win a one-on-one with the fashion experts... pah!