Friday, December 29, 2006

i'm drunk on baileys

my man bought himself a blender last night while we popped into the supermarket for our tea.

a tad domestic a purchase you might think and let me assure you it was unprompted. the reason for this purchase is to make baileys smoothies. 8 pieces of ice and a half glass of baileys equals baileys heaven as far as nm is concerned! haha

as a result i have a dirty baileys hangover today that i frankly didnt expect nor appreciate! baileys doesn't taste like booze at all! just hits you like a brick wall and then you fall asleep!

i'm also suffering from a festive comedown of sorts. not being at work i'm forgetting what day it is and a bit bored really... need some retail therapy me thinx... shoes should do it... bound to be a gorgeous and completely impossible to walk in pair for under twenty quid in the sales tmro... could stick the boyf in Waterstones for an hour and bob to TK Maxx! haha

i love it when a plan comes together! happy new year!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

they are loving it

it is the day before the last working day of 2006 and i am a little light in the way of workload.
this is okay. i prefer it this way as my brain has ran out of creative juices!

so i been wandering around on the interweb and somehow i found this website

as you can probly figure it's a cheeky fake parking tickets site for dirty gasguzzling 4x4s! brilliant! inspired!
they've even gone to the trouble of having different tickets for different areas in the UK so as to look as much like a real parking ticket as possible! haha

i've got to print some off! merry xmas suv-haters everywhere!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

secret santa

I tells ya, I always mean to steer clear of things where you have to rely on other people's organisation but somehow they always find me!

I decided it would be lovely to have a secret santa thing in the office.

So I rallied the troops and got a list of peeps and did the draw for names etc etc

So far so secret santa!

But now it's the day before the big gift swap and half the gifts aren't under the tree! Rude! Including mine! Even ruder! haha

Some people just can't get their sh*t together! How difficult is it to buy a box of chocolates?! haha

If I don't get a gift tmro there's gonna be trouble! haha

I don't sound that angry do I, but let me tell ya, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned at secret santa! hahaha

No Deal

Man I so want to go see Deal or No Deal being filmed and get my pic taken with Noel! haha

So with a trip to Londinium on the horizon I figd I'd investigate and get audience tickets, so far so good. But NO DEAL! It's filmed in Bristol! Ruined!!!

That's a trip soley to be in the audience of a hit TV show. Which is too sad. Ruined! haha

But I hear there's a DVD game so maybe I can get it and have a Deal or No Deal party at my house with a pretend banker and everything!

Why is it on so early?! Pesky schedulers! I feel like a kid who wants to watch Neighbours but it's only on at 1.05pm! Ha! They changed that to twice a day why can't they do that for DOND?!
Once in the day for the old folks and students, then 7.30pm for the non-soap watching hardworking public!

It's like that yoga class at my gym on a Tuesday night that I can never go to because it starts at 5.30pm - Don't these people have jobs?! Grrr!

Luckily DOND is repeated on More4 a lot so I still get to enjoy Noel and his boxes occasionally...

I wonder if there'll be one on Xmas Day.... I think the British public are ready to see Noel back on the telly on Xmas day* hehe

very merry.

*this relates to an interview me and the man read in Heat or something recently just before his big comeback, he was loving it. But personally, I'll never forget the Noel that Chris Morris showed us! haha.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


i am bruised people.

i fell over after several beers at my work xmas party number 1* at Alton Towers** last night.

this morning i had a banging head, sore feet from ridiculously high heels and three massive black bruises on my right side. oh my god they hurt!

i just popped to Holland & Barratt for some Arnica for them cos they ain't pretty!

had a rockin time tho! cheesy disco, free beer, ace! the only problem was the food was just canapes and a really rubbish veggie option so i was drinking on an empty stomach - tres sensible!

everyone at work assures me i was just funny not embarrasing but i was hammered so i'm feeling a little delicate today and hoping no terrible pictures appear in the next few days!

the best thing was i got to meet Terry Christian! he's really nice (from what i can remember!) and even put up with me drunkenly telling him he's a legend! haha

i am seriously going to bed as soon as i get home! haha

*we're having a second, just local team one tomorrow night! eek! my liver can't cope!
**there were Dodgems! woohoo! and we met one of the MDs of Alton Towers on them! haha

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Don't Wait Too Long

saw Madeleine Payroux at the Liverpool Philharmonic Monday night with my mum.

she's a jazzy chick who hit the music stands this year on the back of big success for Norah Jones et al. and the concert was really great. the venue was a bit stiff mind, would have better suited a jazz cafe but Liverpool doesn't have one of those even though it's a capital of culture*

i like a bit of jazz me - my boyf hates it - says things like 'You wouldn't like The Beatles if you weren't from Liverpool' because my eclectic taste offends him so! haha

i recently got an ep of the new Amy Winehouse album which is well cool but my man don't like that either.

this blog is seriously suffering from my hangover so i'm going to sign off before i ramble on about nothing too long.

*my mum is livid that on the back of this 'award' Liverpool seems to be evolving into a yuppy town with no character

Sunday, December 10, 2006

fat tax

i saw a wicked documentary this weekend about one guy's mission to get a fat tax on the agenda in Britain to somehow pay for the £8Billion of public money that is spent every year on benefits to obese people.

Eight Billion Pounds! because these people won't stop eating crap! ridiculous!

the equation they came up with suggested that depending on your BMI you'd pay more the fatter you were. brilliant plan man! my mum called me up the other day livid about paying for baggagewhen fat people could fly without any further dent in their wallet! she said she was going to wear all her clothers on the plane in order to avoid the extra bill. i think that could catch on if the airlines aren't careful! but she's right, if airlines want to charge people extra for baggage weight then they should charge people extra for being a fat bastd! haha

the best thing about it too was this dude took £20 and got 4 bags of food from the supermarket, so the fatties couldn't complain that healthy eating was too expensive. being lazy is what's expensive. ready meals should be illegal! they have turned this country into an overweight bunch of coach potatoes!

i eat them! not too often, but i'll hold my hands up and say, yep processed food has played a role in my life and probably is the reason i'm not a size 10 anymore! but that doesn't mean we should all just close our eyes to the obvious. our grandparents don't get fat. that's cos they eat porridge and drink tea instead of beer. we are a degenerate generation. we drink too much, we eat too much, we're lazy good for nothings. haha, my man says when people write we/you they mean i. maybe i do mean i, but i mean we too cos i see it on the streets of Manchester every day. Greggs* needs to be closed down!

a fat tax would give people one tax year to lose weight and stop being a burden on the health service. it would explain to people that it's not okay to treat your food like a friend. it is a fuel my friend! haha, lentils are nice! haha

i believe CocaCola will be illegal in 10years. that people will be horrified that we ever consumed something so obviously wrong for your insides. that dirty penny trick should be enough to put people off but still they drink that stuff! probably because there are no decent alternatives available. because companies like Coke like to monopolise a newsagents/garage and ban them from providing an option. check out the range next time you're in a shop. usually just one company supplies all the beverages available. even the water. they'll always get ya!

yep. a fat tax gets my vote.

*sorry easy target. but the truth is out there!

oompa loompa

i got fake baked on Friday lunch time.

i never got a fake tan before. i always thought they made people look orange. a little like oompa loompas of willy wonka fame. and me being so white i figured no good could come from it.

and a surreal experience it has been.

i had to stand in my pants in a tent while a nice lady sprayed me with a gun full of tan. then i tried to get dressed without smudging only to find that impossible. i went back to the office looking like an extra from Goldfinger!

not being used to wearing a lot of makeup etc i felt really dirty with this stuff on while it 'sank in' so to speak, so 7 hours later when i was washing it off me i felt a bit better. and now two days in it's definitely less obvious a tone. i look a bit healthier than usual and it's not too patchy. except on my feet. because you have to stand in this tent to be sprayed and the floor is covered in fake tan, the soles of your feet are black when you get out! haha

the reason i got this fake tan? its my work xmas party on Tuesday and i didn't wanna look lumnious in all the snaps as is the usual turn of events. that nor near to death having not seen the sun since September or whenever it was. seriously, i glow in the dark! it doesn't seem natural except ofcourse it is, and i some countries i'm sure it's aspirational or something! thought i think someone once said this shade isn't white, it's see-thru! haha

only problem is since i'm such a novice when it comes to all things fake i don't know if i can still wear my white festive outfit i had planned cos a girl at work suggested my new skin colour might leak onto my clobber! nightmare! i have no clue! i'm guessing it will be okay but i'm gonna have to test it somehow between now and then... how? i have no idea about that either!

i'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

feeling christmassy?

not being of a religious persuasion at this juncture in my life* i don't feel particularly bothered about christmas.
i don't know any kids neither, so there's no one to get excited about it around me.
i am not a miserable bah humbug girl
i just think it's like any other bank holiday, simply an opportunity to be off work without eating into my precious holiday allocation!

my friend is up for chrimbo and i have all manner of festive things planned like ice skating at Piccadilly Gardens, watching the Wizard of Oz at the cinema on Christmas Eve, baileys and mulled wine all the way thru!
so far, so festive.

but what i find exhausting about this time of year is the shopping. for gifts. for baileys.
yes its enjoyable wrapping, giving drinking, but it's all in such a hurry and then its over.
a couple of months into the new year no one can remember what you got them anyway! haha

i've been making a concerted effort to know what i want this year so when people ask me i have a low cost hassle free gift top of mind! haha
but it's not been the case when i've asked my friends and family. my man, after a few requests, managed to give me the name of the book he wanted, but i had to threaten him with the Chris Moyles biog to get that out of him! haha

my mum asked me for a purse from a shop that i never pass about a month ago, but i'm guessing that's unavailable now and i still haven't been to the shop to find out.
i'd have to go to the dreaded trafford centre and frankly i value my time on this earth more than to spend it in that soul-less place!

it can so difficult to shop on a budget. i wish i had a free reign on how much i spend on gifts but i'm a copywriter in radio. it don't work that way! haha, so it's a good job i'm creative with what cash i do have! i think Marks and Spencers do nice festive gifts so watch out people! haha
bubble bath and cocktails for everyone!

i'm trying really hard not to use the internet for everything cos i know the post office can't cope and will fk up hundreds of chrimbos across the country, but that means i have to pay in shoe leather... thankfully i've got Merseywahey** over the road for lunch time shopping trips!

another thing i have to worry about is the festive outfits for all those nights out and parties that spring up! i've been looking online and have a lead on a frock at Next for my work xmas do next Tuesday, but considering i'll only wear it once, again it seems like a lot of fuss over nothing!

i'm bored of ranting about Chrimbo now, i like it really, just not the hassles - it's much better when you're a kid!

*well you never know when the god squad might get ya, some kind of comedy cult springs up and i'm in! haha

**some ck of a copywriter somewhere in Mcr town wrote Merseyway shopping centre a godawful ad featuring aforementioned bastdisation of their name to make them more 'fun'. yeah. i know.

Monday, December 04, 2006

men in frocks

having heard about them and seen them on the telly enough i spent the latter end of last week meeting more than my fair share of drag queens and female impersonators*

i would post a picture but i'm technically challenged at the moment so maybe i'll add it in later on...

i think drag queens are ace. i'm not sure why. which is what my boyf wanted to know. um, whats not to love? a man dressed as a woman being gloriously camp for the simple enjoyment and entertainment of it?

i suppose i find them thrilling - not usual - whereas my man finds the gender confusion they presumably feel a bit unfortunate. but they're not the ones in showbiz surely? thems the ones what love it i'll bet!

people are so fascinating and if you think about all the awful things were capable of as a species, genocide, mad russians going around poisoning peeps in london town, blowing up innocents and then saying freedom fighters did it** we may as well just give up and stop breeding.... but if you think about the good stuff, the music, the books, the pub!! well it all seems just about bearable and we carry on ain't it?

it comes down to is your glass half full or half empty really, and i'll bet the happiest people on this earth are the former not the latter. that's not to say we can be full of optimism all the time! gotta have a dash of realism in your day to stop from being taken for a mug by the less scrupulous among us. but what you care to take notice of in this life has a massive influence on whether you enjoy it or not.

a friend of mine has been seeing a guy who has been misleading to say the least. i told her she can see the world as 'empty without him' or she can see the world as great, him being a bit part that came and went. she has a great job, great friends, a great place to live and is a great girl. it's all good baby! he is superfluous to her existence. but she's still seeing him. must be the s*x haze. the only reason i know of that sane wonderful women go out with those not worthy of them.

i'm tired today so i may be rambling. apologies...

*there IS a difference, i'm just not sure what it is 'technically' speaking...
**more than one government used that tactic me thinx

Thursday, November 30, 2006

new shoes

went to another paolo nutini gig last night - he is ace!

his audience are such an upbeat crowd too - every gig people sing along in good spirits - the only thing i didn't understand was the inbetween song banter - the glaswegian accent is almost impossible to translate! he should have subtitles up on a big screen behind him, haha

in fact thats the second time i've thought virtual subtitles would be really handy. i was at a client meeting and the fellas we were chatting to were from Korea. they broke off during our meeting to chat indepth about the topic of the meeting leaving me and my collegaue to only imagine what it was they were talking about. i smiled to myself imagining virtual subtitles had popped up to help out. can we invent them and then retire on the proceeds?*

i also love that babelfish website - you put in any words in a long list of languages and it's translated for you! brilliant. the tower of babel in yo face! i think i wanna learn Japanese. i think because Jonathan Ross likes Japan, but also cos it seems such a cool thing to do - speaking Japanese dude! new year, new hobbies!

i bought a new pair of shoes today from New Look on impulse. they're green wedges and they're so pretty! i'm gonna wear them tonight when i go to a new club in Manchester called Birdcage. it's gonna be wild! and on a school night, have you ever heard anything like it?!

*we being anyone who wants to do the techie bit cos i already had the idea yeah? my work is done! haha

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

a very British thing

at the weekend i dragged my man to see the latest Bond offering Casino Royale.
i have seen all of the Bond films as my mum has always had a soft spot for early Sean Connery*.

the film was as you'd expect, the new Bond was wieghed up and looked good in his trunks so got the thumbs up from the ladies in the house and did all his own stunts so impressed some of the fellas**

the thing is it's only just come out so the queue was massive to get a ticket and even when we got to the cashier they'd not got a free show til an hour and half later. we got tickets anyways and waited in the cinema lounge*** watching the mega long queues for the next Bond session.

A hour or so passed chatting about nothing in particular and we decided to go get popcorn etc and then lingered around to start the queue for our screen. but for some reason the old fogies in front of us were horrified that they couldn't wait int he screen. 'the last showing is still on' explained the teen on the door 'outrageous' they moaned. the queue started to make a serious dent in the foyer. screen 1 is their biggest screen therefore it's biggest audience. it did a full cirle round the foyer and into the screens corridor. we watched as people came up the escalators walked towards the screen inspite of massive queue only to look back dismayed at the line of people they had to join for impending Bond. we had popcorn so we were happy. we were also almost at the fornt so we knew we'd get the seats we wanted**** but we giggled as people became irate as every chancer in there tried to talk his way out of the queue situation. a woman directly behind us was gonna burst a blood vessel because she thought a woman had pushed in. i couldn't help but smile at her. i thought the British were good at queing but apparently it's a talent that's slipping from our collective conscience!

very amusing. certainly whiled away the time waiting to see Bond anyway.

*she didn't like Roger Moore at all but by then i was hooked on the spy thriller nonsense! she even made me watch a made 70s movie with Connery in called Zardoz! it's wacky sh&t!

**not my man, he don't like Bond.

*** after an aborted mission at Chiquitos next door - who only had two staff on none of whom were taking our order after 20 minutes! rubbishness!

****at the back. no kicking of your seat then see!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

i blog, therefore i am

i am not hooked up to the world wide web at home.

i was supposed to be but my landlord hoodwinked me.

i have too much stuff to move before next summer so offline i will be for the forseeable future.

so i blog at work when i get 10 minutes. doesn't interfere with my work and i have aquired a healthy addiction now, in so much as, if i don't blog, i miss it!

so imagine my dismay at a new IT policy being handed round to sign. you may not use the world wide web for personal use.


that is what happens when one person abuses a perk at work!
some loser, one time, in darkest peru or somewhere equally dingy, downloaded some naughty pics of a lady doing rudey with an Alsation and BAM* the bean counters say
'oh no no no, we'll have to nip that in the bud. what a bunch of perverts we employ! let's take away yet another small pleasure for the wage slaves'
and TADA* a new IT policy!

how am i going to do my online hassle free christmas shopping now?! hmm? haha

it's safe to say i am livid...

so if you never hear from me again - you know why!

*do you think it's normal to add soundeffects to your blog - or is it just cos i is a radio copywriter?! haha

Monday, November 20, 2006

four girls and a maiden

i was in bournemouth this weekend to see my gran.

we went to a place called Holme Farm Shop for some groceries and my dad bought me a primrose plant. i warned him all plants die in my care but he said they're very hard wearing and bought it me anyway. so now it's on the windowsill on the stairs as i figured this would mean lots of light and not to much heat.

as far as green fingers go good intentions is as far as i get!

but the other thing they had in which caught my eye was a Lady Farmers Calendar. ooer missus these countryside sorts are a bit racy! lady farmers in nothing but wellingtons and all manner of horticultural machinery!

there's something very British about a nudey calendar. other countries wouldn't get the point, being all relaxed about nookie and general nakedness! haha

but you don't expect it in a Farm Shop along side the home made fudge! haha

that is all...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

define me

human beans love to be defined...

be it wild child or stay at home girl people like to know who they are and how they're perceived by others. which is why i took part in this survey my boyf brought to my attention on his blog.

according to this quiz i am a Life Blogger and he is a Pundit Blogger.

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

this means he cares about his hit counter whereas i leave him to worry about mine. i am genuinely surprised when someone says they've read my blog. i love to write it and of course it would be really rubbish if nobody actually read it cos i want people to enjoy reading it as i enjoy reading other peoples but there ends the interest. ask my man any day of the week how many hits he's on and he'll tell you down to the location of the server! haha

i love that picture too, that's me that is, leisurely 'pleasure' blogging haha

i tell my friends to blog. they largely haven't yet but my friend Kate is a space waitress* and her day to day life would make for excellent reading. i imagine it would read like ' today there was a right bore in first class who spoke to me like i was his servant. i explained that if the plane crashed i would be the one saving his life and he didn't say a word the rest of the journey'**
my other friend Chris should blog. he's a writer like me and would really enjoy it once he got into it. i remember when i first did it and it felt silly, selfindulgent and worthless***. now i don't care that it may be any of those things and genuinely enjoy writing about my little life.

i tell every cabbie who'll listen to blog - i love cabbie blogs like this one and this one - they meet so many people and have so many weird experiences, what's not to write about?! haha

when i started to blog my man gave me advice about not being too keen on it being 'good'. we are all our own worst critics after all. if we over edit ourselves in life, in a blog it is more obvious. just write and hit publish. some will be better than others, just do it and enjoy it.

if anyone has any favourite blogs for me to read please let me know!

i love blogs!

*i am tres jeslous of her jetset lifestyle!
**she told me this story herself once - with more detail of course - and what a great story! i want more! haha

***my blog was even a secret blog to begin with!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

handgestures before dawn

i'm not a morning person.

i can appreciate having a fulfilling morning but i'd just as rather stay in bed and appreciate the extra zeds thank you very much!

so this morning when a ditzy driver was in the wrong lane causing me to cut her up accidentally - no honestly! haha - so she's in the wrong and her gimp of a boyfriend starts to gurn at me in an agressive manner - very much like our primate friends in zoos might.

gurning aggressively from the safety of his passenger seat. not once, not twice but three times to which, i'm not ashamed to say, he got the v-sign. i understand as much as the next man how irritating bad drivers are, and it's easy to understand how he may have thought i was in the wrong (when i clearly wasn't reader!).

but to have a go at me THREE times about anything is ridiculous! he may as well have followed me to work and stood behind me all day telling how sh*t he thought i was behind the wheel of my punto!

well it's just bad for my disposition frankly. i'm a cheerful girl but you have never heard language like it when i'm on the road. there are so many d*ckheads out there who i would ordinarily never cross paths with. and in such a polite society as ours, where we're used to please, thankyou and sorries tripping off every tongue, the rudeness you have to endure on the road is exacerbated since we're just not used to it.

i feel angry at another driver at least once on the way to and from work. this isn't good for my health and i'm sure it will give me wrinkles!
and they're usually men. women are more likely to be considerate drivers. no question. that's why men are in more accidents. in too much of a hurry to beat the car in front. they're called boy racers for a reason you know ; )

in a tenuous link i saw a film called Crash this weekend. not the dodgy early nineties film about people having nookie in cars, but the recent one about racism in LA with Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle and Brendan Fraser. amazing film!

starts off with a car crash and matey spouting some nonsense about people in LA crashing so they can have a human interaction - to which his girlfriend suggests he's hit his head too hard, haha. but the style of the film is brilliant. effortlessly flicking from character to character slowly weaving all the storylines together. making you think about easy prejudice and how we're all just people at the end of the day.

if you haven't seen it, make a note and check it out. really enjoyable. 5 stars from the jodester!

Monday, November 13, 2006

one in one out

those four little words that can ruin a very good night out!

went out on saturday night with my housemates and some buddies and started off at Mojo - a great rock n roll theme bar that plays wicked tunes and has reasonably chilled punters...

birthday girl insisted at midnight that we go to a club not far from the bar, even though by this time we'd thought Mojo was just fine and getting 8 people into a club at this time very impractical... ho hum, off we trooped politely only to face the tres dull 'one in one out' situation at said club.

ruined! we had a nice corner table at Mojo and frankly the night went downhill quickly when we stepped out into the Manchester rain!

then we had a fall out with a taxi driver trying to charge us £18 to go to the Northern Quarter (about a quarter of a mile away!) and decided to go to nearby Vodka Revolution as a quick fix.

that's what happens when people go to clubs. it ruins things. a nice noisy bar will do and they don't charge you stupid money to get in or make you queue!

clubs are rubbish! they're so 90s! with the late licences bars and pubs can get now, they're surely becoming obselete... people know the price of booze shoots up once you step thru those hallowed doors!
they really need to box clever and drop the door and booze tax to get anywhere near the amount of punters they used to get...

but social trends don't normally filter down to everyday business for a few years so they'll probly just go out of business and some investor will turn them into fancy apartments like the Hacienda apartments in Manchester.

but saying all that my housemate wanted to go on Saturday so maybe it's just me who doesn't appreciate having to pay over the odds to dance in a darkened room of a weekend! haha
i did just hear about a new Rollerdisco night in Manchester tho - i am so there!

Friday, November 10, 2006

dirty ozzie rock

and no i don't mean anything related to the osbournes!

last night i went to see wolfmother live and they rocked baby!

for the first time in a long time i allowed myself to be dragged down front and experienced the moshpit - tres scary - didn't hang around for more than 3 songs - was too hot and frankly dangerous! haha

wolfmother are australian rockers bringing back the good times. someone asked me if they're tongue in cheek rock, to which i have no clue. what matters to me is whether i enjoy the record. which i do. 'woman' is destined to be a rock anthem!

my man says they remind him of hendrix. cool!

he didn't like that other retro rock band 'the darkness'.
i can understand why glam rock jumpsuits may put you off, but the first album was ace!
it was a few years ago now and just the beginning of rock reclaiming the album charts.
but he would say' oh they're on hit wonders' like it was a bad thing.
what's wrong with having a hit in your life.
being responsible for a bunch of people enjoying some rock sounds? i can't understand the problem.
maybe it's cos he never wrote one hit wonders when he was in his band.
it was beneath them or something and they were concentrating on a life long body of work the world could enjoy.... oh yeah, they split up long time ago, the rock martyrs! haha*

but yeah, wolfmother. serious rock or a retro wink - i don't care - they make good sounds come outta my stereo!

* i wanna be in a band! i'm just jealous really...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

nightcap anyone?

well now the poor bloke from npower or somelike today got hisself into hot water for telling folk to put socks on in bed and wear a hat to keep warm this winter... er, welcome to my world?!
then i heard him on national radio defending hisself by saying poor families lived in badly insultaed homes and couldn't afford too much heating... er, i wasn't aware i was in either!

a hat in bed is not a good look! but it does work! you lose most of your bodyheat through your head. fact! i have a large collection of hats! haha
i also suffer at this time of year from cold feet in bed and with a wayward yorkshire based boyf nobody to heat them up on so socks it is! works a treat!

what i can't understand is some people's denial of the season. one of the chicks i live with insists on going around barefoot - on our cold floorboards - and then complains it's too cold!

we play a little game everyday where she pushed the thermostat up 5 degrees - ooh them global warming crazies what do they know! - and me pushing it down 5 degrees!

well i ain't gonna give up first! it's winter! dress appropriately folks! woolies can be fun! haha
maybe i should get her some totes totsies! or them wooly booties for old ladies/kate moss whoever...


rant over...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

everybody else is doing it

my friends Anthony & Julia are getting married!
i'll have to get them one of those windscreen stickers for the car Tony & Jules ; ) haha

i guess it happens to everyone like this but people i know seem to be getting married a lot lately, which makes you think why aren't i getting married?!*

the reason of course is obvious that it isn't time to get married yet! but still you can't help but compare yourself to others when it comes to these things.

which is rubbish cos everyone in every circumstance is different.

fortunately for my man when i was a kid i never imagined being married with kids, i imagined being single with 3 Labradour dogs! haha, the spinster on the hill who writes childrens books! how very Enid Blyton! so if he NEVER asks me** i still have my dream! haha

infact i even have a back up spinster dream... my friend Kate has promised to be my old bird buddy with bunk beds who goes on cruises with me! haha, so i'm sorted t.y.v.m.!

but i do like going to weddings. they're so optimistic! the stats are stacked against you baby but i'm gonna marry you anyway! swoon!

well congrats to my buddies A&J, even tho you've thrown me into an existential trauma i'm very chuffed for you! looking fwd to the party - can i do the disco?! ; )

*cue one quaking NM! haha

**he says, rather romantically, i'm only getting up the aisle if i'm up the duff! charmed i'm sure!
i can hear it now:
'mummy why aren't you and daddy married?'
'well daddy never asked mummy and now mummy won't marry daddy on principle' haha

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

my travels in the kingdom of blog

i don't usually get time to surf the blog-world since i'm presently not hooked up at home*
but today i've had a quiet spell with which to indulge in the world wide web and i'm pleased to report it has put me in a very good mood!

first i looked for an old blog i used to read by newyorkhack but that linked me to some other cabbies who blog and

i think that a cabbies life must be quite interesting. sure you'll always get rubbish punters who are rude or abusive, perhaps just smelly ones, but then you'll see some eye-opening things too right? and you'll see people from all walks of life. i always try and have a friendly chat with a cabbie but some are just not sociable at all. which begs the question, why be a cabbie if you don't like people?!

but by far my favourite blog i found today is
i've been listening to his radio2 drivehome and frankly he's back on form.
no-one likes listening to lazy radio, which is what he started to produce i think back in the late 90s was it? seems a lifetime ago.
whatever - if you ever like his heart warming 'everyone come and be in my gang' radio then you'll enjoy his radio2 stuff and moreover his blog. some great entries which are further enhanced by listeners comments. brilliant. interactive blogging baby!

everyone should blog! some cynical f*ckwits say of blogs that they are uninteresting drivel which will never be read, remembered or loved. i say blogging is an easy way to express your life to anyone who might stumble across it! why are we here on this planet but to tell others of our story. human beans have always loved telling and hearing stories. the basis of good stand up comedy is story telling which is probably why i love it so much. so what if you're not interested in what someone has blogged? don't read it then! simple.

there are people in this world who want to make you smile. and then there are those who are miserable and want to inflict in on everyone around them!

well stuff them!

watch some of these - they always make me smile - if only for the theme tune!

*my landlord promised me broadband but then renegged on this promise as soon as i'd moved in - outrageous behaviour! i'd move out on principle but after 13 years of renting i am SO sick of moving!

Monday, October 30, 2006

limp wrists

i went bowling this weekend with my friends Vicky, Kate and Clare and my man.

i like bowling but i can only last one match before my wrist goes all limp and hurty!
rubbish! i'm quite pathetic when it comes to anything physical. a mis-spent youth infront of the telly i guess... the shows are gross tho, especially since i have the most average ladies show size, they're well worn them sixes!

but i didn't get one strike this weekend - i was gutted! i usually get one at least! i go dead centre most bowls but the b*stards wouldn't go down! my mate Kate was a hustler - she moseys on up, casually bowls and strike central! haha

we were sharing the lane seating area with a bunch of kids who we were fighting with for the lighter balls! haha
but i think it's a bit rubbish you only get one bench per lane - that's not enought clearly!
we took it turns to sit down between bowls!

frankly bowling exhuasted me! it was all so exciting!
a little victory every time you hit the pins!
the misery of geting a Gutter Ball!
the disappointment of a single pin! Bummer indeed! haha

first game was funny cos, excluding the fella, the girls final place was in order of height! tallest winning, shortest last!* mental! my man took a picture... which i'd load up but i'm not sure how to... ruined!

they had a tv screen with pop videos on interspersed with ads for the bowling alley.
the fast food looked very unappetising but the Cosmic Bowling looked amazing!
apparently, regularly, they do bowling disco-style! brilliant! that's next on my to-do list!

talking of lists - my friend Kate said she had a list of things she'd wanted to do before she was 32. i asked her what was on it but she said it was more of an idea of a list than a list which i think goes a long way to explain why it's not been completed!

an idea of a list?! you either have a list or you don't! haha it made us all think about our possible lists tho i think lists are scary and if you put a time limit on stuff you're asking for trouble!

a student i met recently who wants to get a job in radio said with the confidence only a 21 year old can have 'if i don't make it in a year that's it! i'm obviously never going to make it and i'll do something else'

i pleaded with her not to make grand deadlines on her dream! but i guess you live n learn.
i certainly did. i nearly gave myself a heart attack with the pressure i was putting on myself to achieve big media moves the year or so after graduating. just doesn't happen that way eh?
£12K p.a. and rent to pay = no big media career, haha

just keep on rockin' that's what i say!

how did we get so philosophical from bowling?! haha

* not me! hehe ; )

she broke up with me

i just called my gym to postpone my personal trainer session tmro night, for a fortnight, while i worked on the stuff she showed me in the last two sessions. a bit of catch up time!

but she said she's leaving Thursday for a better paid job!
so she's getting some other chick from the gym to call me to arrange a session, but i really liked Erin!

i'm gutted.

i feel like we've broken up after only 3 dates! haha
she drank beer! where am i going to find another personal trainer who drinkes beer for chr*ssakes!

i am SO giving up PTs after this last session.
it's too weird them hanging about while you get sweaty anyway.
and they're so unreliable!
i don't need to feel insecure about anything else in my life thankyou!

but we'll always have the ball exercises...
happy times!

i guess it's gods way of telling me i'll never be a size 10 again! haha


Music In: Ominous, mysterious tones
Mvo: Eerie, narrator read

It was the last night of the manchester comedy festival...
The girls drove around the quiet back streets looking for Charlies...
Venturing tentatively, they soon discovered they would have the last laugh!

Mwah hahahahahahaha

Music Out:

Sunday night i was party to a very intimate comedy performance from one Alex Laserev.
being the only person who had bought tickets! i'm so very glad i didn't go by myself,* that would have been REALLY embarrassing.
as it was it was just quite embarrassing...

poor bloke. he was up from London for his big gig and nobody had bothered getting him any punters. so he tells me, my housemate Jo, some dude Mike from WFM** and his box office chick his story of being deported.

i giggle all the way thru - it's just the kinda girl i am - i'm good comedy audience right here! i only ever shout out nice/silly things and i always laugh.

well unless you're really rubbish! or 'just for the blokes' material. which is just lazy!

but i giggled thru matey's story of deportation.
and it was a really great set.
shame that only me and two other people saw it!

after his story we took him for a drink round at the fab cafe - i felt so sorry for him and he was taking it all very well!

in the bar we drank tea because i was driving and he doesn't drink, but Jo had alcopops.
what ensued i can only descibe a surreal group massagathon! haha***
he asked me to rub his bad shoulder and when i failed to apply enough pressure he said he's show me how it's done and proceeded to stick his fingers into my spine - ow!
but he gets Jo to do his back and we're in this line in the fab cafe - massaging! haha
then some dude from across the bar comes and sits infront of me and his mate goes behind Jo -it's a mass spontanteous back massage club! haha

surreal is not the word.

jolly good fun for a sunday night tho eh?!

*which i nearly did cos my comedy buddy blew me out and i had to find a last minute replacement!

**Alex had done a radio interview that morning on this guys show - WFM is the best community radio station ever! 97.2 kids!

***boyfriend: don't worry! it's not like it sounds! haha

Friday, October 27, 2006

yey it's friday!

oh i do love a Friday!

i even got a free dessert today! now that's a proper perk of the job!

i have a jam packed sociable weekend planned and it's all kicking off as soon as my man and my very good friend Vicky turn up, thel atter of which is currently pooling up the M6 the former of which managed to get out of bed before 4pm and still isn't on a train! i ask you! it's like he doesn't want to see Simon Munnery tonight!

ooh how exciting, more comedy! : )

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

i did laugh

yes i did!

last night the book club was very good indeed. oh bless Robin Ince and his merry men (and women) - they made my face hurt from laughing too much! brilliant!

i am having a night off from comedy tonight... i've been sleep deprived since last week now and it's no good for an old bird like me! i'm getting seriously tired eyes! it's not a good look!

i went to London on Friday and stayed up late drinking with my man's buddies, only to be rudely awakened to a 7.30am start - on a Saturday?! i ask you?! Up we went to Essex for a thing at the man's old university and another late night was had by all! sleepy jo then trudles back to Manchester only to be whisked to a Russel Brand gig! mental! i'm going to bed at 9pm tonight!

a surprise edition at the book club was Simon Munnery, who we're seeing on Friday night at Giggle n Funk - oh Simon is so loverly! his Urban Warrior still scares me a bit but he's so nice when he's just being Simon Munnery...

and i have to give a special mention to Graeme White and his accordian - i want to play the acordian! he was concentrating so hard - the man's a genius! me and my mate Ruth were clenching for him it looked so hardcore! ooh it did make us giggle...

why can't every week be a comedy festival?!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

comedy overload

its the manchester comedy festival! woohoo!
it's like a mini Edinburger!
i must say i'm very exicted about it all...

i've seen Russell of the Brand, We Are Klang and Phil Nichol already with more booked in!

We Are Klang were amazing! so silly! wicked!
Phil Nichol maintains his position as my favourite new comedian!

it's The Book Club with Robin Ince tonight and Simon Munnery Friday so i'll keep you posted on how much my sides hurt after all this hilarity!

all these late nights mid-week are no good for my good looks tho! i'm going to be using a lot of my YSL highlighter pen this week me thinx! haha

this arvo i've been having proper comedy flashbacks to moments of comedy nakedness and catchphrase! a comedy hangover is loads more fun than a vodka one! haha*

but i'm already dreading the inevitable comedy comedown! ruined! it's a good job we have good comedy access in Mcr and Sheffield or i might have to go cold turkey!

*Sacrilege! Jodester in comedy beats vodka shocker! haha

the green cross code

hello there children

always remember your green cross code!

i witnessed a girl getting knocked over on Sunday night at a pedestrian crossing

she was in a hurry i suppose

i hope she's okay, i didn't hang around to find out as i was on my way to meet a friend*

but oh my god! i'm so wary of crossing roads now!**

thing is it was her own fault for running out into a road that had just changed from red to green. sure the car was possibly speeding up along the right hand lane to have come from nowhere like that but she should've just waited to cross like i did!

she was with a friend, possible boyfriend, who ran out after her - but fortunately escaped being hit himself.

i keep getting flashbacks of the moment her legs flew thru the air.


maybe they need witnesses to the accident.

i really do hope she's ok.

*ironically to watch some comedy. i have to say Russell Brand worked hard for his money and i was giggling away before too long. Which is not what i can say about his support act Trevor Lock who is yet to find a style all of his own. Frankie Howard and Harry Hill spring to mind immediately.

**this is annoying because my boyf always gives me a hard time for crossing roads at my leisure - as opposed to waiting for the green man. i am a busy lady. i do not however cross if i can't see the road! (heavy sigh)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

she reaches parts other personal trainers just don't reach

blogs are like buses. discuss.

anyhoo - i'm aching today!
i have a new personal trainer called Erin.
she's from Australia and she likes Guinness. brilliant news!
i had to sack my last one for being too rubbish but this new one is super duper!

last week for our first session i hurt all the next day in places i didn't know i had!
today after another session i am again discovering its possible to hurt in places i didn't know where there!

which of course is brilliant news - that's what personal trainers are supposed to do!
i only have one more session before my pikey personal trainer bundle i bought when i joined runs out but hopefully she'll have given me lots to work on to get me thru winter!

i have been rubbish about going the gym the last month - only been once a week! i ain't gonna get any fitter with that attitude now am i? haha

mmm... chocolate....

something to make you smile

i won a competition!

not only that - it was called the 'something to make us smile' competition and it was to win a big yellow teeshirt from the people who made Little Miss Sunshine*

the Cornerhouse in Manchester sent me an email newsletter and challenged entrants to make the team smile for a chance to win! brilliant competition! just plani upbeat! haha

i rose to the occasion with a little pic i'd found a few months back of a couple of elderly ladies enjoying the beach - floral bathing suits and swim caps a-go-go!

so i won! amazing! and so nice to think that someone else appreciated the little old ladies too! i picked up my prize on Saturday when i went to see the Neil Diamond documentary and got a tte. cap, notbook and pen! haha my man said i looked like a nerd in my big yellow cap but i like it!**

on the high of my big win i entered a text comp to win flights to new york - but i probly won't win that one! there was no creative element to entering this one - just give us yer 50p and we'll pull a name out of a hat in 3 months time or something like that... boring!

*this is a really good movie! go see! : )

** i can wear it mondays to thursdays and he'd never know! haha

a week rolls by and no blog!

my gosh! how time flies when you're busy at work!
i can't believe i haven't blogged in a week! haha
been earning my money this week obviously!

funny things happen on buses.
it's true! listen to this!

i was travelling into town to meet Jo from work for a beer before comedy* and i got a text from her saying she was on her way.
i text her back to say i was on the bus.
20 minutes later she says she's on the bus - should be there on time.
i text and say i'm on the bus but i might be late cos i was still 20 minutes away from where we were sposed to meet in 10 minutes!
10 minutes later we're on Oxford Rd and i hear 'Jodie is that you?'
it's Jo.
she'd got on my bus about 15 minutes earlier and we'd been texting each other on the same bus!
haha, insane.
we giggled a lot.
as did the girls sat opposite her who overheard our ridiculous story!
what a couple of geeks. haha

*comedy at the Zumebar which has mysteriously vanished into, what i can only imagine is a parallel comedy universe, where they're all having a proper laugh without us : (
refurbishment apparently, very odd on the week's eve of the comedy festival...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

high maintenance

i went to see The Devil Wears Prada last night and it was fabulous!

top chick flick if ever i saw one - lots of gorgeous shoes, outfits and a hottie thrown in for good measure! my man would've hated it but that's cos he just doesn't understand!

Meryl Streep was fabulous as the ice queen editor. she does deplorable things to her new 2nd assistant and yet so stylish! haha

it was like watching your favourite magazine come to life for and hour and a half - just fabulous! haha

one great line that sticks out was when the 1st assistant tells Andy the 2nd assistant and protaganist of our movie she's found a great new diet, no eating until you're going to faint and then eat a tiny cube of cheese... cue much laughter from the ladies of the house!

as we walked out the cinema having seen all the glamour and high heels i felt decidedly frumpy and even thought in the end the moral is 'it's what's inside that counts girls' you couldn't help but want to straighten your hair and drop a dress size! haha

sooo glad i went to the gym and skipped any popcorn last night!

Monday, October 09, 2006

knock knock

my man did some stand up on Friday night - well, he tried to do some stand up - it was more like 2 and a half minutes of him looking scared on stage! haha
it takes serious b*ll*cks getting up and trying to make peeps laugh tho so i have nothing but respect for him for having a go at all*

what was weird is recognising all the new acts trying their luck inSheffield - we'd seen nearly all of them in Manchester's Giggle n Funk night at the Zumeba
i was guessing the gags!
i've gotta spend my weekends doing something else man - i feel like i'm suffering from comedy overexposure!**

it's the manchester comedy festival in a week or so and i'm really looking forward to it - i'm not happy that i have work to go to inbetween all the fabulous comedy i'm lining up for myself though - ruined! that will get in the way of the beer! haha
but will i need to go cold turkey for a month afters? i don't wanna know everyones gags! i wanna enjoy comedy not 'know' it! haha

my flexible friend hasn't even recovered from the edinburgh comedy festival so i don't know what it will think of another bashing... expensive hobby this comedy m'larky!***

*which is what i haven't done! yet... haha - watch out world! knock knock...

**not entirely disimilar to when, over a period of a couple of weeks while at university, i over-indulged on Linda McCartney Sausage Rolls. can't even look at them now. ruined! they were really nice! haha

***except for Giggle n Funk at the Zumeba - tres affordable at five punds a pop! haha - will they put ME on the guest list now? haha

Friday, October 06, 2006


i went to a beerfest last night!

amazingly good fun - felt like a student again!

i also went to the fab cafe on wednesday night for their quiz night which was also great fun, although the hi density of students in there didn't make me feel like one of them. instead i felt old! haha

i was chatting with some galpals about how i used to drink heavy duty amounts of beer every night at uni and then thru into my early post-uni life in London. how on earth did i get up for work the next day? insane how the body can take so much crap when you're younger!

but back to the beerfest. some sweating and overfriendly bloke comes up to me and says with knowing twinkle 'if the next song is 'Loveshack' will you dance with me?' so i felt game and knew that he knew the next song was Loveshack and said 'YES!' i think he was a bit put out that i wasn't overawed by his phsyic abilities to predict the next track but i think he'd been at the beerfest a lot longer than me and so was quite intoxicated! haha
the beer was served by 'wenches' and waiters in 'leiderhosen' ? how the heck do you spell leiderhosen?! and you could buy horned helmets, big moustaches and blonde plaits - all very amusing and they served up the beer in the biggest glasses i've ever seen! haha
i wouldv'e smuggled one out but it was just too big! where can i buy one of those?!

the students only recently came out in force again cos its the beginning of the new academic year. it has made me nostalgic for the mid-week partying and carefree existence but i know in reality that they're just putting real life on hold and once you graduate you get a real nasty bump back to reality! haha they won't extend that overdraft again for a while! haha

that is all.

Monday, October 02, 2006

bargain basement wonder woman

this weekend i was WonderWoman!

i had a WW oufit when i was eight years old and had a lot less issues with getting my thighs out back then...

my poor man was very stressed cos i was truly mortified for about 72 hours at the thought of going to a party with all my work collegaues dressed as a super hero in - let's face it - a pair of star spangled knickers!

but i'd committed and fought for the right to be WW so there was no backing out! i ain't no fancy dress p#ssy! i was most proud of my 75p homemade accessories, my crown was the best thing i've ever made - ever! haha

fancy dress parties shouldn't be so stressful, but i'm glad i went thru with it cos i had the beautiful experience of overhearing a bloke pronounce incredulously 'i just saw Wonder Woman' as i went past a doorway and knew he meant me! yay!

other news this weekend is Children of Men starring the very tasty Clive Owen is amazing! The book by PD James has been made into a film and frankly did not disappoint! i was gripped thru-out! my man was blown away and couldn't speak for the next hour! haha - go see it!

we also continued our patronage to the comedy night Giggle n Funk at the Zumeba on Friday, we're SO their favourite regulars! hehe

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

bad drivers

i had to drive to Liverpool and back yesterday for a meeting.

there was an accident at the end of the M62 and the signs clearly diverted the traffic to one lane and suggested 50mph about 2 miles before the accident blocked the first two lanes to ease the traffic build up. logical.

but 'people' don't like to be told what to do on the roads. 'they' know better. 'they' are more important and in more of a hurry than the rest of us morons who actually take notice of traffic advice. so they drive all the way up to the accident and then cut into the queue now miles long.

cheeky b*stards!

god i hate bad drivers. they should have their licence revoked and be made to get the bus.
that'd learn them!

not long after this, i took an alternate route into Liverpool city centre cos the main artery from motorway to centre was obviously adversly affected by the traffic build up.
being local n all i figured i'd take the scenic route thanksverymuch, but since i'm not really au fait with lane detail over there i got myself into a situation where my lane didn't go much further than the lights.
so instead of matey next to me slowing down to let me in - he speeds up nearly causing a collision!
what was the f*cking hurry mate?!
i was clearly not speeding up in a boy racer - 'ha ha i'm in this lane because i want to beat the traffic' kinda way - i have a roof rack and animal print seats for crissakes!
but no - alpha male felt he somehow had to protect his lane or something.
then he had to let me in anyway cos i ran out of road and the nose of my car was in his way.
but it could've all been easily avoided by him just being the big man ' hey - i'll just NOT hit the gas pedal for one second while this person gets in lane'. easy.

bad drivers are a danger to society!
they put normal nice people like me in a bad mood creating bad vibes and probly adding to global warming...

i heard on the news last week they want to make it mandatory to have been learning to drive for a year before you get your licence - good idea.
how about mandatory having to re-sit your test every 5 years too?!
and stop making cars that go over 70mph while you're at it!
why have the car companies manufactured cars that go 180 mph when there's nowhere they can legally go that fast?!
then they're NOT to blame for speeding motorists! just like they're not to blame for global warming...

insane. this world is insane!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

there is such a thing as good news!

today as i woke up i heard the best news in a long time - good news on the news!
that's rare stuff baby!

California Sues Car Companies Over Emissions!
here's a link to the story in case you haven't heard about it

I am loving it!
I'm a hippy me - I eat vegetables and lentils and everything! haha
when i was 16 i was given a book called The Young Persons Guide To Saving The Planet and i always turn my telly/computer off at night!
Standby is very BAD kids!!

So, probably for the first time in my life, the news made me smile!
I saw a headline a few weeks ago about how they're calling companies who profit from fuel sales 'Global Warming Deniers' just like the cigarette companies who went from being 'Smoking Kills Deniers' to coughing up serious compo in courts across America.

Smoking doesn't kill.
Smoking might kill.
Smoking kills.
Smoking kills you and everyone around you.

nice product.
what p*sses me off about cigarettes is there's no way they'd be allowed to go on sale now if they were a new product. they'd be a Class A with all the sh*t that goes with it!
my boyf says stopping people from smoking is taking away their liberties. i say its taking away profits from corporations who are killing their customers!

and it's so funny that those tw*ts who drive bigs stoopid cars, with what one can only assume is a very cavalier attitude about the planet and it's non-renewable fuel sources, will have to a) pay more tax if the government has any sense and/or b) have to give them up when they're just plain banned from the streets! haha
i saw an SUV* in the office car park today - i wanted to leave a note "Gosh! Doing ANYTHING that justifies owning this car this weekend? - NO? Please sell this tank and get a Corsa yeah?" haha

Arnie for president i say! and we thought they were just a bunch of arty farty hollywood hippies over there in California! but sueing General Motors - now that takes balls baby! hehe

Cars do not effect global warming.
Cars might effect global warming.
Cars effect global warming.
Cars are killing the planet dudes!

sound familiar! haha

*SUV Sports Utility Vehicle - if theyr'e anything like trainers, most people won't be buying them for sports. it's White Van Man culture gone mad!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

pass me the aspro, man!

i'm feeling a bit ill today.

this is not good as i have to go the gym tonight. also i find being ill incredibly boring! you can't do anything but lie there and suffer! rubbish!

i have a tickly cough and feel a bit heavy headed so i'm loaded up with paracetamol and i took 2 vitamin c tablets this morning!

can a positive mental attitude see me thru?!
will just i lie back and take it like a man?!
tune in to the next exciting installment of 'Don't Panic'! haha
yeah, as a result of my mushy head i am not feeling very creative today, so please don't hold these drugged up ramblings against me!

i been to see Little Miss Sunshine this weekend, it was really good! Wasn't sure what to expect cos sometimes American Indie flicks can be rubbish but it was £5 well spent! We also watched Dig! on dvd. Been meaning to watch this for a while and it wasn't disappointing. Good little story about how The Dandy Warhols and a band calle The Brian Jonestown Massacre were born in california one summer and how one made it big and t'other didn't; but onyl cos the main man Anton was heavy in drugs. It was really a big advert for TBJM cos their music was cool! Very 90s darling!

well that's about all i can muster - my brain hurts today...

Thursday, September 14, 2006

i kissed the hoff!

and he said he'd waited 20 years for it! haha, i'm quoting out of context of course but the comment he made was so close to the event of us having a special moment that i claimed it! haha

let me start at the beginning dear readers...
David 'the Hoff' Hasselhoff was in Manchester for a book signing day.
i took the afternoon 'hoff' work to meet* him!

we were told he was doing an iv** at channel m where my mate Fallon works so we stuck our head round the door of the bookstore he was doing lunchtime signings.
there weren't many people at this bookstore. this is important to remember for later.
we took a pic from afar and then trotted off to channel m very excited at the prospect of meeting him up close and personal!

the channel m iv was postponed due to papparazzi issues and moved to the trafford centre.

ruined ruined ruined!

so off we went to book store number 2 and with over an hour to wait the queue was already MASSIVE!!!!!! argh! what the blazes? why didn't we go to bookstore 1?? why why why??!

we sat and moped for about 5 minutes - then bit the bullet and joined the huge queue to meet the Hoff.

2 hours later we spent 10 seconds with a very tired but twinkly David Hasselhoff and i got aforementioned kiss. i said 'Goodness me David, we've waited ages!' and he said 'I've waited 20 years to be here!' ah bless - he's such a hippy!

i'd like to meet him properly of course and then he could fall in love with me and whisk me away to California for fun in the sun... but we'll always have WHSmiths... admittedly it's not quite Paris but i think it's all i'm gonna get! haha

went back to my friend Ruth's house and had a proper Hoff comedown - after all the excitment of the day i was physically and emotionally exhausted! haha

Hoff, if you read this - and i know you like to check your internet presence so you can turn it into pounds - if you want to do lunch sometime i'm your girl! haha

*meet/stalk - it's a matter of opinion really!
**interview - TV speak y'know...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

fighting crime in satin tights

so i have two (count em - 2!) fancy dress parties to go to in the next month or so and my thoughts have turned to outfits - do you make your own or do you hire out?

me and man man went on an amble round a few shops this weekend and i've got to say hire or buy they didn't have much to offer, one shop - with a really really cool name too* gave me some right tatty ware to look at... er, no thanks!

which is why i thought about making my own. for party 1 where the theme is Legends i am planning a wonderwoman entrance! surely the all american colours outfit is fairly easy to replicate? i already have the hotpants from a pj set my mate Fallon bought me! and the more i think about it the more fun it sounds! i quite like the idea of looking rubbish and homemade than bought-it-in-the-shop same-as-everyone-else! haha

the lazy girl inside me says - just buy one! but the creative girl says make it your own! haha guess who usually wins! haha**

then end of next month i have to be a vampire at a Hallowe'en party, which my man says is easy - black cloak and white face paint - job done! but i'm sure there's more too it! haha

i was a zombie last year and that was great fun and inspired by the amazing movie rom-zom-com Shaun of the Dead, you can get fake skin to mash up your face - it's great fun! haha

maybe i'll post pics after said events so you can see how i did...

*Mr Ben's - how cool is that name for a fancy dress shop?
**lazygirl. always. dam her!! haha

Thursday, September 07, 2006

the eagle is landing at 3 o'clock

i had trouble getting to sleep last night cos i was reading Heat magazine in bed, very naughty behaviour!

i was also a bit more awake than usual cos i'd just been the cinema to see Volver (brilliant film, but peneleope cruz is too dam pretty!) so i was all gee'd up as it where!
the showing was pretty packed for a non-arthouse cinema tho - i was quite impressed, but then you have to consider the Orange 241 offer on a wednesday as mentioned in my previous blog...
it occurred to me that a film shown during the trailers (The History Boys) was just another in a long line of Buddy Movies for boys. It seems sucha shame that the Americans are not so keen on making decent heart warming movies for groups of women, unlike Almavodour! He makes great movies for women characters - and what characters they are! he does seem to use the same actresses over and over but you never tire of them because they're so entertaining to watch!

i had the radio on last night and couldn't find anything chilled so i thought Radio 3 perhaps? Without much conviction. but it was actually a cool show! about classical reoworkings of modern soundtrack songs like Exit Music by Radiohead - mental - but really good! i wanna listen to that show every week! i thought - blimey! radio 3?! but then they started playing some crazy gaelic nonsense so i had to put radio 2 on...

i'm wittering now so it's time to go, ce vediamo doppo!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

surfin the crimson wave

i'm hoping to Orange Wednesday it tonight.

how much do i love that concept?! and i always reel in disbelief when i meet someone who doesn't know what an Orange Wednesday is, how can they have missed the ads before every film in every cinema (now that's coverage!)

i guess cos i'm an Orange customer i take more notice but that's still no excuse! haha, they're brilliant ads!

so i'm going to Orange Wednesday with a friend of mine who used to be with Orange but has jumped ship for another network on promise of a cool phone - how fickle is that?! and now she expects me to take her on Orange Wednesdays?! cheeky minx! hehe

i'd like to see Volver or the Betty Paige movie cos they're both chick flicks and my man will grumble if i try and make him see them (even though i went to see Nachos frickn Libre!!!) but i don't know what my friend wants to see so...

i've given myself the week off the gym after a traumatic scene on Monday when i had to dump my personal trainer and ask for new one. i had an appt with him and i called to check the time but he was off and had another apt booked in anyway so i wasn't impressed and said i'd had enough of his nonsense thanksverymuch!

so i have a consultation on Thursday with an Australian lass... and i'm feeling well knackered this week anyway after all my partying the last fortnight so it's officially a week of the gym!
but i did sort out my last unsorted drawers from my move last night and i'm being extra sociable with my spare time this week so's not to waste it! haha

time management is the key to a successful life don't ya know?!

Monday, September 04, 2006

booze is bad

why oh why oh why oh why...

my friend's party was ace! but i drank too much...

i don't feel very sexy this morning and it's been more than24 hours now! haha, that's what happens when you're over 30, it takes FOREVER to recover from one drunken night - i probably am still suffering from my Edinburgh indulgence!

mental weekend tho. went to comedy on Friday night and it all kicked off cos some stupid drunks wouldn't stop talking and the last comedian (the 'headliner') couldn't handle it! it turned into a screaming match - it was proper fked up!

saturday went to see a friend i was at achool with, she's expecting twins and told me all the gory details of how they'd be coming out just to put me off having any myself for a few more years... man - with all the science in the world i have two questions. 1, why does it still hurt? there should be a "beam me out scotty" option by now! and 2, why can't men have the kids yet?! haha

saturday night was the party - and yes - my cd was a big hit! haha well, me and ruth loved it anyway and thats what counts!

sadly a drunken night always has casualties, and saturday was no different. on the way home at 3am (ish) i lost my pink kitty purse in the excitement.

i really loved my pink kitty purse too.

maybe my lovely boyfriend will get me another one... hehe

Friday, September 01, 2006

80 minutes of pure pop nostalgia

i'm going to my friend's house warming party on Saturday and she asked a few people to make cds to play on the night, brilliant!

i'm still a little bit in denial about tapes being the format of yesterday* but now i have my own puter at least i can partake in these homemade cd things if i want to!

i dusted off some old cds and set about creating a playlist for Saturday night, i think you'll be impressed to know i managed to get 23 tracks on including:
Adam Ant's Prince Charming AND Stand and Deliver! hehe
a bit of Kylie, Justin and Magde, good stuff!

i don't mind telling you i suffered for my art, i got a really bad crick in the neck after leaning over my puter screen for a coupld of hours, but i feel it was worth it just to see my pals face on Saturday when she hears "C'mon stop, collaborate and listen..." hehe (yes really! i make brilliant party cds!)

it did occur to me that i'd really love to have proper vinyl mixing skills, decks, the works, me and my pal clare wanted to start our own mobile disco wearing roller skates! haha, maybe when were having our midlife crisis...

for your very own jodester party cd please send details of your event to...

*i must be the only person in the western world who was dismayed my new car had a cd player instead of a tape player - i'd made quite a retro collection up soley from char shop finds!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

feeling fuzzy

so saturday was just as busy as friday - we were determined to make the most of our weekend!

up at 12ish and off to get tickets for Simon Munnery's AGM.
on the way my bloke saw a picture of his mate Rob Deb's cheeky grin beaming out from a poster in a pub* window. we made a note to come back for his free lunchtime performance and headed onwards to the stand box office.
while there we got tickets for the late stand up show featuring Phil Nichol who we had seen the day before in Talk Radio. his own show the naked racist was sold out for the weekend so we were really pleased we'd be seeing him.

more guinness at Rob Deb's show.

Simon Munnery was wicked. he gave us the most memorable experience of all weekend. once the hour and a half show was over he took his audience up the road to have an outdoors AGM about thoughts members of the audience had put on pieces of paper and into a big bucket during the show. insane.
and so lovely a way to spend an hour! haha

we took a comedy break and went to see Paolo Nutini live at the Liquid Rooms. he did a cover of Gnarls Barkley's Crazy which was wicked!

i'd had enough guinness by now and had a seriously giddy tummy. so i think i switched to diet coke around now...

then onto the stand for our late night stand up. we arrived late at the venue after drinking with our pal Rob and had to sit at the front** but this only added to the evening's frivolity as the compere chatted to Nick about his job etc. we were loving it! haha
another great night, topped by finding out Phil Nichol had just won the fringe comedy award 'the eddies' and was very very drunk but on his way...
we got to meet him after the show and he was really nice and just so happy! bless him! haha
after a couple more drinks at the stand we went up to the pleasance for the free fringe party and got back to the hotel about 5am. blimey!
this was worrying only because had to check out the hotel Sunday morning...

all packed up we staggered to a lunchtime free show at the stand. two guys, Gary and someone, did improv'd sketches. they were really good fun. 'dogging commentary' stands out...
we'd managed to have a weekend of brilliant comedy at edinburgh without any timewasters! beginner's luck or sheer determination?! haha
we even ambled up to the local indie comic shop for my man to browse and me to chat to bored proprietor haha, very friendly too!

late afternoon we planned to go see the play the chick we met Friday night was in, but on arrival at the box office Robin Ince's Book Club caught Nick's eye and we went for that instead.
we saw a whole host of singing and dancing acts for this show, including Martin White singing Kate Bush with his accordian and a hungover best newcomer winner Josie Long, so it was a great way to end our festival experience.
we even toyed with sleeping rough to stay another night but i was knackered! physically and mentally exhausted!
so we just got some chips on the royal mile and got our train back to sheffield...

back to reality was a harsh lesson.
why couldn't all days be like a day at the edinburgh comedy festival?! haha
we are so going back for a week next year!

we experienced a proper comedy come down sunday and by monday we were plotting more comedy but in Manchester***, haha

i'm still feeling fuzzy from the comedy packed weekend but it was one of the best weekends EVER!

so it was all worth it!

*jekyl & hyde pub, hanover street. secret toilet doors that look like bookcases! brilliant!

** we really enjoy sitting at the front. people think this is insane but we like being a part of the laughter! haha

*** frog and bucket, beat the frog open mic night. it wasn't brilliant but it got us out the house...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

comedy come down

just been to edinburgh with my man for the comedy festival.

never been before, wanted to go for years though, being a big fan of stand up comedy.

so very 'green' we arrived fresh faced on Friday afternoon and set about getting tickets for Talk Radio, a play about a famous amercian talk radio host directed by Stewart Lee and starring Phil Nichol both of whom we'd seen last summer in Glastonbury's comedy tent*.
this was very good. and very thought provoking at least for my man - a one time recent talk radio host himself!

the first guinness was supped during this show.

then we had some dinner at a nearby pub called The Doctor. we ordered jacket potatoes and we're pleasantly surprised when served up two spuds each! we could get used to these Scottish servings we thought! while i was at the bar ordering our dinner some Scottish ladies asked my man if they could share our table, which he kindly obliged as it was a busy pub, only to find 7 women descend on us! mental! haha they were very jolly and had just been to see the Ladyboys of Bangkok! one of them took a great liking to my man to which he responded by putting me inbetween them when i came back from a loo break! haha

guinness number two was here.

time flew by in The Doctor and we had to hurry off to see Richard Herring perform 'Menage a Un'. this was good but i did feel sorry for him as some bright spark thought it sensible to bring their kids including a 12 year old boy and sit on the front row! his show was still littered with filth and expletives but it must have been a nightmare for him!

afterwards we went to the underbelly box office to see what we could see next - there were a few contenders but we went with The Free Beer Show! you got a free beer (or red wine on my part) and some laughs! haha

we went for another drink before that started at the Gilded Balloon Library Bar. very lovely bar with big leather sofas and bookshelves! we got chatting to some chick called Sarah who was in a play and waiting for some friends. she told us she lived in LA and when she asked me what i did i had an awful moment of clarity. what did i do? i'm a writer. (okay so far) what did i write? oh dear. radio ads. what a contribution to writing! not! hey and my blog! haha - you guys get all the good stuff right here!

The Free Beer Show was very good fun and at one point a heckler walked up to the stage unhindered by security to shake hands with the terrified comedian to say 'you're not bad but i'm going now thanks' haha - this event actually made the whole show funnier! the guy on stage, Sean Collins, was livid that sceurity hadn't seen the need to intervene! haha

we stumbled back to our hotel at about 3am felling very rock n roll for being out so late...

i'll tell you about Saturday and Sunday tomorrow. i'm exhausted just writing about Friday! haha

i'm such a tease! haha

*we spent a lot of time at glastobury festival in the comedy tent as i didn't have any wellies. but as it turned out it was fortuitous spending all our time watching comedy as it inspired our Edinburgh trip this year!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

festival fever

going to Edinburgh tomorrow and very excited about it too!

i have a brolly cos i expect it will rain it being Scotland n all... and i have aquired a cheeky rough guide... i've got hangover medicine and i've packed plenty of pants! haha

actually the only thing i don't have yet is my train ticket and there's a very good reason for why not! the going rate for a ticket from sheffield to edinburgh, fancy a guess? its almost 4 hours away... £78! yes count them SEVENTY EIGHT ENGLISH POUNDS! its daylight robbery!

i think i better write a letter to my local MP about how rubbish that is and how i am not incentivised at all against using my car for this journey!
except my bro is borrowing my car this weekend, but that's not the point!
how can it cost more on the train than any other way to travel when its clearly the cheapest way to travel! grrr! why i oughta! (shakes fist in air)
the government should be ashamed of itself!
our great British railway is fooked! haha, which is rather a shame cos i love getting trains...

so i will be back for more blogging action after the bank holiday - poorer of pocket but hopefully richer in spirit - ah! nice that!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

day 31 - the housemates are still working each other out

been at my new gaff a month now. still figuring it all out really.
what i will say is this:
i have less cupboard space than everyone else.
the lass i share a fridge with has serious issues with my having a fridge door friendly water filter jug.
there are some parking wrangles not of my making.
i need a plant for my room and possibly a book shelf.

so nothing serious then.
just general house share gripes! haha

oh to afford my own place! if me and my man lived in the same town and worked more similar hours we could def get a place.

what is the world coming to when a graduate who works full time can't afford their own place to live - to rent never mind own!
i have no grand scheme to be a property magnate but my own little place to call home would be nice.
with ample cupboard/fridge space and easy parking of course...

a charity chaser tried to chat with me yesterday while i was out n about on my lunchhour, i said hello - i'm polite me! but i said listen i have no money! i am my own charity case! she said sympathetically, oh are you a student? no! she looked suitably dismayed and allowed me to continue on with no further questioning.

even my brother, who until recently was unemployed, has his own place!?
who can i write a letter to about this?! i want my own place!

it's far too early to be this cross about the world, but my fridge sharer displaced a jar of olives from the fridge door last night for a half empty bottle of vino, which meant the entire jar drained overnight resulting in vinegar being all over the fridge and floor when i went into the kitchen this morning. bleary eyed i mopped up inside the fridge.
i left her a note.
i'm quite peeved by this lack of care re: my olives. and i know they're only olives but now the kitchen floor needs mopping and i'm damnd if i'm doing it!
she could have moved a carton of apple juice instead and none of this nonsense would have happened.
but it's her apple juice.
it's about the water filter jug. i know it is...

Monday, August 21, 2006

monday mornings


i didn't drink a lot. i slept late saturday and sunday. why am i so 'hungover'?

nasty business these monday mornings.

can we ever get rid of them? i hear about people who work 'flexible' hours all the time, why don't i ever get a sniff of the good life?! haha

went to the cinema this weekend to see A Scanner Darkly. i was very excited. and unusually this didn't lead to disappointment! there were slow bits to be fair, and i was surprised that the director didn't use the style to its most surrealist limits like he did in Waking Life, but that's what happens when you try and take something a bit more mainstream with Keanu Reeves et al! haha

also saw Nacho Libre. wouldn't normally have bothered with this one but the bloke wanted to kill the time and the sadness between 4pm and 6pm. what a silly film.
i remember thinking that if i was under 12 i probably would have really enjoyed it though. so that's nice for them.
damn those cinema prices tho. £13 for two adults?! jeez! then another £10 for snacks. they take the micheal for sure!

this is why i am a member of its just £10 for as many dvds as you can manage in a month and you can make your own snacks! haha
this weekend i enjoyed the original series of Wonder Woman disc 1 which featured the pilot epic episode and episode 1 of following series. bizarrely set in nazi themed world war II, the pilot explained the origins of Wonder Woman. lynda carter was fabulous and the commentary from her and the director dude was class! she is concerned about the re-casting for the movie version coming to a cinema near you in the not to distant future. and so she should be! look at the Batman movies! haha

also i enjoyed Dallas on dvd last night, including commentary on episdoe 1 from larry hagman no less! class eighties tv i tells thee!

(heavy sigh)... is it lunchtime yet?

Friday, August 18, 2006

real chippy chips

you can't beat real chippy chips, no sir-y bob!

i just been to a fish and chip shop (now thems the perks!) to ask if they want to go on the radio, it's called The Fryary (what a great name!) and the boss george is so lovely i want him to be Uncle George! haha

and he gave us free chips and mushy meas! lovely stuff

you just can't beat the taste of real chips - there's something very English about eating a nice bag of chips innit? who invented chips? who thought 'yeah, stick them in the hot oil and they'll taste good' haha i'll have to wikipedia that later!

and forget those french fries that seem to have taken precedence over the last 20 years, its about time every restaurant in the land got back to proper fat chips - they only sell those skinny ones cos they're cheaper and less effort! outrageous! i bet theyve never even had proper chips in america! pah...

forget camra lets have a campiagn for saving real chips! haha

i am aware that you may feel hungry after reading this entry, just picturing those hot yummy chips with some nice mushy peas on the side, i highly recommend The Fryary in Edgeley! haha
but i'm sure you have a favourite chippy and if you've not been in a while - why not pay them a visit today!

Mmmm... chippy dinner....

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

ever had one of those weeks...

today i am suffering poor sockmanship!
you know, when your socks fall down your foot while still in your shoe and you have to stop every 2 minutes to pull them back up.
how annoying it that?!

and yesterday i realised i had given myself a strange lump in the shoulder by overdoing it at the gym - i look deformed! so i think aerobics is off tonight! which is a nightmare cos every week i've wanted to try the boxing class i've been foiled in some way! ruined!

on monday i took a chunk out of my right index finger on a loose screw on the bathroom door which i keep knocking on everything, and then later on i scraped my arm against my bedroom door handle.. do you see what i've had to put up with?!

yesterday i went to get a bikini wax* only for my waxer lady to inform me that have a huge bruise on my ass cheek! what the?!
nice that.
i was very drunk this weekend so i can only assume its a UDI (unidentified drunken injury), but what a way to find out! the shame..

so today with my rubbishy fall down socks i've had it!

hope your week is going better than mine!


Tuesday, August 15, 2006

hiphopera - it really exists!

so over the weekend i went to Bridlington* and on the way over in the motor me and my man listened to Adam & Joe's XFM Podcast**.

on this particular edition they explained to us that the king of RnB, one R Kelly, had invented a new genre of music, the HipHopera. A soap opera sang by R himself. They played a few clips and it sounded ridiculous.
Me and my man then had a discussion about whether it was a parody or whether it was in fact real and R had invented a new genre of music.

Later, when much wine had flowed at our friends house, we turned to to look at various nonsense.

it occured to me that if HipHopera existed then we should see it! and where better to look for it than the world wide web.


i cannot fully explain the mirth that R caused on Saturday night. and i am sure he was taking it way too seriously to even appreciate the laughter he gave us!
please watch Trapped In The Closet*** here
and find the next 11 epsiodes thereafter!
i promise it's worth 40 minutes of your life! haha

i understand that it isn't new.
and if you are already aware of the HipHopera then may i say this:
'why didn't you tell me?! that's just selfish!'
and this:
'watch it again my friend, it's good repeat viewing value!' haha

*to see our friends James and Clare. nice place, shame about the rain, but that did add to the experience, the penny arcade was AMAZING! and i had a knickerbocker glory in the 60s cafe!

**if you haven't already enjoyed them, it is essential that you listen to these chaps, soon. they are so funny on the radiddlio they make me cry tears of laughter!

***this goes a long way to explain the South Park episode where Tom Cruise is trapped in the closet, which is also a YouTube must-see!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

new stuff

i just got a copy of the latest Nouvelle Vague cd Band A Part - which features for your aural pleasure kitsch covers of, amongst others, The Buzzcocks' Ever Fallen In Love and Blondie's Heart of Glass!

i also bought Jose Gonzalez melancholic cover of Kylie's Hand On Your Heart which suddenly becomes a much deeper message about a break up! haha
i hope Pete Waterman's heard it!

last night i went to see new Luc Beeson movie Angel-A which was a bit surreal to say the least! it's filmed tres beautifully in black and white on location in Paris, but it's like Luc couldn't find a story as good as the scenery so he just went with some pappy love story that's It's a Wonderful Life meets Wings of Desire! but to spice it up a bit the angel-a is dressed as a slut (something for the dads) and the chap is of Algerian descent (something for the politics).
y'know it's ok - i don't want to slag it off - but it's not a patch on his previous work!
i loved Nikita, The Big Blue (Version Longe),
Leon (he brought us Jean Reno!), The Fifth Element
and he even steals a line from Leon for his new movie - has he run out of ideas?!
or did he just really love the line? ("Stop saying OK all the time" "OK")
i was a bit disappointed really... it seemed like a half hearted effort to me...

however i AM looking forward to seeing A Scanner Darkly later this month - the new Richard Linklater movie with his weird painted-acting-anime combo! they showed a trailer for it and i got really excited! it's such a great new format! the best of acting and animation brought together (see Waking Life for previous Linklater step into this field)...

so yeah, loadsa new stuff! excellent!

Monday, August 07, 2006

i had a dream

and in that dream i was moving to Cornwall.
with my mum and my brother.

it was a really vivid dream. and i was really excited, but was worried about getting a job there. haha, i was even looking at it on a map and looking what big cities were near by (cos i'm a city girl). mental!

i think i maybe dreamed this because just before i went to bed i was reading about all the celebs who have pads in Cornwall in the Independent on Sunday*.
and i've always wanted to go.
and my mate Clare is from there and we had been talking earlier about how i'd like to go for the weekend maybe end of next month.

so i'm kinda disappointed today that i'm not moving to Cornwall!
isn't it weird when you have such a vivid dream you have feelings about the experiences in it! haha

hmmm, wonder if there's a radio station in Cornwall...

*re: previous entry about how the Independent made me cry. I'm not allowed to read the Independent news bit but i'm allowed to read the fluffy stuff.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

something for everyone!

if my blog had a strapline, which it doesn't, nor will it ever, but if it did, it would definitely not be 'something for everyone'.

even if this was true, which it isn't , i still wouldn't use it. because it is so lazy man!

i will keep this short because i am loathe to talk about advertising on my day off but for example:
every little helps
making life taste better
i'm sure you are familiar with these straplines whether you like it or not!
but last night The Co-Op, who appear to have seen sense and dropped the singing sheep, introduced new characters in a cartoon form who tell us that Co-Op has 'something for everyone'.

it's not a flippn theme park! people are NEVER going to be excited about going to the supermarket!*

of course in literal terms the shop does have 'something' for 'everyone' from sweets to courgettes, but its such a lazy strapline. they're not telling me i'll find value for money. they're telling me they offer tasty fresh food. they're telling me 'well, we've got something for everyone, and YOU'RE everyone, so why not come along loser?! haha

The Co-Op was one of the first ethical companies, a co-operative see... why aren't they flogging us moral fibre with our bread? They were among the first to stock Fair Trade goods - they could so clean up with the lefties if they said 'shop with us - you'll feel better afterwards'! haha

that's it - i'm not going on any longer - i am a geek i know i am - its tragic but i criticaly watch the ad break

'what numpty pitched this idea?' i cry in disbelief at the telly/radio, thinking bitterly 'i bet they get paid more than me too, pah!' haha

my poor boyfriend.

but then he says geeky things like ' did you hear how bad that last link was?' about random people on the radio and i have no clue!

two geeks together. ah bless!

it's the way it should be!

hey that sounds like a strapline! haha

*unless you're me and get excited about finding your nearest Sainsbury's (see prevoius entry) - but as we've established, i am a geek.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

i've got a gym hangover

ugh. i'm aching today.
i went to the gym and did my assigned 'workout' for the first time.
not good! i think i'm gonna stick to classes - they're more fun!
i even took a sauna session before i went home but still aching today.

and my personal trainer called in sick!
isn't it supposed to be the other way around?! haha
i am doomed to be ever so slightly lardy forever! the lady at the desk was a bit rude too.
ruined. i thought the idea was that if i paid a lot of money to go to a gym they'd be nicer to me! haha

i'm going to boxing aerobics on Wednesday which i'm really looking forward to.
really must go to the supermarket tho. got home from gym last night only to find a corn on the cob and some peas for tea! haha i'll be thin yet!*
so i bust open a jar of baby beets only to spill the bright red vinegar everywhere! it was like i'd murdred someone! haha

*i don't actually want to be 'thin' i just want to be slimmer... i'm a woman! ofcourse i'm horribly selfconscious!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

the independent made me cry

well it wasn't so much the independent as the story featured in it about how the israelis had bombed the red cross going into lebanon.

but how much of the press can you believe anyway. its all someone's version of events. maybe i'm a sucker for being upset and that's what 'they' want me to feel.

flippn eck i'm starting to sound like my conspiracy theory king of a boyfriend!

but back to my original point. i cried. because the world is horrible and horrible people run it and horrible people live in it.

i'm not normally allowed to read the paper for this very reason. but my man was trying to keep me occupied while he made us lunch on Friday.

then when i was at a jolly BBQ in London, well Surrey technically actually, but down there anyway, i had a chat with a bloke called Dean who'd never met me before about the fact that i'd cried because of the state of the world and how rubbish everything was and why did we feel powerless to do anything about it? i think i must have really enhanced his BBQ experience! haha

then i got pissed and forgot all about it.

just like 'they' wanted me to...

pah. damnd jaegermeister!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


i went to bodycombat at my new gym last night... and i'm hurting today!

its an aerobics class that uses the moves of martial arts to hi-NRG dance music! so essentially its kung fu aerobics! haha, brilliant!

actually even tho i am aching today i did really enjoy it! it's not easy for beginners as there are a lot of moves and co-ordination to get your head round while it's all happening! but it made the hour go really quickly and it was definitely more interesting than the treadmill!

i'm trying boxing aerobics next week, and i want to try the ashtanga yoga class but its difficult times for me to make - pah!

last night tho - one of the moves was as if you were punching someone in the head! nice! and the music they played in the class had punching sound effects on it so it was like you were in the game Street Fighter of something haha, the good thing about this is it's just the moves - no actual punching! unlike when i tried Karate the other month and realised i was going to be expected to actually fight people! eek! i'm a lover not a fighter!*

i wanted to go the gym again today because i promised myself i'd go twice a week and since i'm away for the weekend from Thursday it's the only chance i'll have before next week... but i'm aching too much! slowly slowly catch a monkey!

*i watched a film at the weekend The Breakup** and a guy in it had a tee shirt that said "I'm a drinker not a fighter" - brilliant! that's up there with "I drink therefore I am"! haha

**my boyfriend teased my for many hours for crying during this movie. i'm sure had i not been so exhausted from moving house i wouldn't have blubbed. but i'm a sensitive girl!! the ending was rubbish tho! haha, definitely the result of 'test audiences' which are an evil phenomenon in modern film making!